9

We drove for hours, I tried to sign a few times to ask where we were going or for him to just let me off but he was focused on the road. I looked through my things and found my shoes inside. I put them on along with a jacket. I noticed some of my things were missing but fuck it...considering he was about to take my finger a few items didn't matter.

I kept looking out the window trying to see if I recognized anything. I kept worrying he might take me down some abandoned road or secluded area. I couldn't get their conversation out of my head. "You had me clean up. Do you need me to clean up again?" and what did he mean was I the woman who'd set him off last time. I had a lot of questions but wasn't sure I'd get any answers.

I started to feel a big relieved when I noticed some signs with my city's name on them. It was a few more hours but eventually we made it back. I tried to sign my address but he didn't look back at me. I tapped on his seat and then the window. He suddenly took a turn and we went into an empty parking lot. I wasn't sure what time it was or day for that matter the store was closed.

He parked, got out, walked around the car and then got in the back to sit with me. I wondered what he wanted. He sat for a moment then turned to me and signed Carter wasn't well he was struggling with mental illness and sex addiction. If I saw Carter from that day forth I needed to call his number immediately and inform him. The doctor gave me a business card.

I signed to him asking 'What mental illness?'

He didn't respond.

I bit my lip then signed "Carter was my teacher, what about my class, if I didn't pass, I couldn't take my high school equivalency test,"

The man looked suddenly disturbed and quickly signed asking "How old are you'

I signed, 'Eighteen, almost nineteen'

He still seemed unsettle but opened his wallet. He had a lot of money inside, gave me a thousand dollars in hundred dollar bills. I'd never seen so much money at once and to be holding it was insane. He signed 'Take this, tell no one about this. You'll pass your class, just stay away from Carter."

I nodded and gave my address but he just signed for me to get out and take a cab. I got my bag and started to leave but before I did I signed, 'Thank you'

He didn't respond he just sat there, deep in thought. Long after I walked away from the car, he was still sitting in the back seat. I used some of his money to get myself a cab home. By the time I got home I was tired and sore. I grabbed a quick bite to eat and slept then slept for nearly a day. My family was surprised I was back early. She asked how thinks went. I wrote it went well. She seemed happy with that, she didn't even noticed my broken my finger.

I still wasn't feeling well, the next day I went to a walk in clinic with the money the doctor gave me. I had to wait a bit but they checked me out. They had a lot of questions but didn't push me when I refused to answer. They treated me, gave me a treatment plan and some medicine. I went home and slept some more.

My dreams were unsettling, I kept seeing images of what he'd done or imagining what he'd done. The soreness and pain began to faded after a few days. I put everything that Mr. Jaids had gotten me in a box and shoved it into the back of my closet. I didn't know what I should do with it all but I didn't want any reminders of him.

I didn't go back to class I kept expecting to get a call, a letter or to see him at the house but nothing happened. Everyday I left the house when I was suppose to, then walked around or went to the library. I did some studying hoping I'd still be able to test and looked up when I could take my splint off my finger. I also went to the store and bought myself some more underwear. Slowly I tried to process everything that had happened between Mr. Jaids and me. This whole time he was struggling with mental illness and sex addiction...I guess a lot of things made sense but how was I suppose to know he hadn't said anything.

I saw our interactions differently now, I replayed what had happened at the cabin. Given how pissed off he was, he probably would have cut my finger off. Fuck he might have killed me. I realized the doctor had saved my life. It was insane when I really thought about it, how close I'd come to dying. How fast things could change. I felt bad about everything that had happened...I felt disgusted wit myself for the moment when I had enjoyed thing. Like Eon, Carter became another thing I didn't want to think about. I pushed it all to the back of my mind and tried to just focus on the future.

After a while, I started trying to learn my way around the city. I looked into possible jobs and places where I might be able to live. I hoped the doctor hadn't been lying but I knew my family would kick me out if I didn't pass that class again. I needed to be prepared.

Oddly it was less scary then I thought. I found a shelter I might be able to stay at and some different resources I could look into. I began to feel more confident that whatever happened I'd figure it out. Week after week passed by, eventually my finger got better and I thought every reminder of that "Mr Jaids" who soon be in the past.

One day about two weeks after classes would have ended, I got home and learned a letter arrived for me, from the adult center. My mother hadn't been able to wait she'd opened it and I read her lips as she said I had passed. She showed me the letter and certificate, I read it to see if Mr. Jaids had said anything but he hadn't. It was simply a standard form letter, informing me I had passed the class and the date of the next high school equivalency test a month from now. Carter's signature was at the bottom but even looked like it was just a copy. I couldn't help but be relieved. Good let things be over this time.

My mom was happy for a few days after the letter had arrived. She even signed "Good job" to me. It was nice not having to pretend to leave everyday. I spent the next few weeks studying hard for my test...especially since I'd been so distracted. Of course that was what you got when you had an affair with your teacher. Again and again I cringed when I thought of everything we did together...I must have been out of my mind.

Sometimes I'd look at myself in the mirror and smile seeing me staring back. I'd eve undress and look at myself, all of me, my face, my shoulders, my breasts, my stomach, my hips, tights and legs. I wanted to see all of me, accept all of me. I wanted to see myself as I was now and not as some sex crazed rubber doll. I wanted to find myself again...if...I had ever really found myself before. I was happy when everything from the past was beginning to faded but some of the bite marks looked like they'd remained. My pubic hair started itch when It grew back. I used some of the money to get my own waxing strips and continued to keep it clean. I admitted I liked how it looked.

I was a little worried he might have damaged me and that I might not feel things again. The first time, I masturbated, I tried not to use any toys. I only used my hands and imaginations. Gloriously I was't broken I could feel things again but my thoughts quickly got dark and I realized even thought Mr. Jaids and I were threw I still enjoyed dark and dirty thoughts. I tried slapping and spanking myself with my hair brush to explore what I enjoyed. I tried to make myself cum and I did but it was never like the way made me. It was never powerful enough. It was another thing I'd have to figure out how to do.

One day after I'd finished mater baiting I was laying naked in my bed and noticed my room felt a little chilly. I got dressed and saw the window to my room was slightly open. I thought it was odd. The window was broken, it never opened very far so I didn't use it. It was open the widest I'd ever seen it which again wasn't very wide. I could barely fit my hand through. It took some force but I got it to close again. I looked out the window and thought I saw something but when I looked again I didn't see anything. I brushed it off and decided to do some studying.

As the test drew closer I studied every day for hours on end. I reviewed each section of the test, hoping I'd pass so I could move on to the next phase of my life. It almost felt like everything had been on hold this last year and I was eager to get things moving again.

On the day of my test, I got up early, it was being held over four days at a college campus I'd never been to and didn't want to be late. I caught an early bus and then walked around campus trying to find where the test sign is was. I found a flier with a map and began making my way there. As I walked through a large court yard I thought I saw Eon. I instantly froze and looked again, my heart leapt as I realized it was him, he was talking with someone.

I just stood there for a moment staring at him in disbelief. What was he doing here? Was I dreaming? I'd had a few dreams off an on since...everything that had happened. Ones where we'd pass each other buy or he'd look at me and I'd look at him. They always hurt...always made me wake up crying knowing it was never to be. I pinched myself hard...a twinge of pain shot through my arm...this wasn't a dream...this was real...but why? Why here now today? Did he go to this college or like me was he here for his high school equivalency test.

It was just so strange seeing him out and about. Then it was strange that it was strange. I used to see him every day like it was nothing but now... now it had been so many months no...a year...somehow a year had passed without seeing the man I loved. I looked at him longing to approach him, longing to have things the way they'd been but I knew they-

He suddenly stopped talking and turned in my direction as if he could sense I was here. He glanced over and then like I had, did a double take. Our eyes met from across the court yard, everything that had happened with him felt a million miles away now...almost like another world or life even.

He turned his head as someone wave to him in the distance and their mouth went big. They were probably shouting to him. He looked back at them and I took this moment to quickly run away. I knew it was cowardly to run. I was an adult I didn't need to, I could walk away or even wave or pass by with a familiar nod but yeah...I felt too wound up.

My heart was pounding in my chest as I got to line for the sign in. There were so many people they had like a dozen lines. As I waited I hoped I wouldn't run into Eon again. I needed him to be the last thing on my mind today, I couldn't afford to fail this test, not after everything it took to get here.

When I got up to the sign in, I signed my name and then paid the sixty dollars it took to take the test. I used some of the money that doctor guy had given me. I was glad I had it because mom and Marty hadn't given me any. I was given a sheet of paper that had my complete test schedule on it. It showed me which days for which subjects and my room number. They gave me a name badge with a star on it to showing I had paid.

I got out of line and looked over the paper. Today was language skills in the morning and math in the afternoon, I was pretty sure I could pass the first one but math was never my strong suit. I made my way to my fist room and checked in with a woman that sat behind a large desk. She checked my badge and found my name on her list. She gave me a blank answer sheet and showed me my seat number and potion on a map she had. I read her lips as she informed me they hadn't found the pencils yet but someone would get me one before the test started.

I nodded to her and made my way to my seat number. The room was pretty big maybe two to three hundred desks. There were some people already here and it was slowly filling up. I took a look at the answer sheet seeing there was three hundred multiple choice answers. You didn't know what the questions were until you got the booklet.

I felt my desk vibrate and saw someone had stepped up to it. They were tapping it with a pencil. I looked up realizing they must have found them- OH SHIT IT WAS MR. JAIDS! He looked down at me, his face was expressionless. I swallow as handed me a pencil. I shakily took it, my surprise clearly written all over my face. I was told to stay away from him, to call a number if I saw him, immediately. I didn't have the card on me. I didn't think he would be here. It was a different campus...he shouldn't be here. WHAT WAS HE DOING HERE!

Without so much as a second glance, he moved onto the next desk with a person. I watched as he went about handing pencils out to everyone who were already seated. When everyone in the room had a pencil he put the rest in a cup on sign in desk. Then he stood against the wall, crossed his arms and closed his eyes. Was he staying? NO! Again why was he here? JUST WHAT WAS HE UP TO?

I kept staring at him, swallowing, my throat soon became dry. How was I going to get through this test, I needed this test. I kept expecting him to open his eyes and look at me but he didn't. I grabbed a water bottle from my bag and took a swig. When I finished went to look at him again but someone was suddenly blocked my view. I looked up and nearly fell out of my chair, it was Eon.

FUCK MY LUCK TODAY! I scrambled to put the lid back on my bottle of water, realized he was here for the test, he must also be in this room today. He politely waved to me but I noticed he didn't make eye contact. He signed slowly asking if we could talk after the test. I sat there... recalling the last words I'd heard him say. I didn't know if I wanted to talk. I'd tried everything to just move on from-

Eon shifted his weight as he waited for me to respond. I could see Mr. Jaids again and he was staring at us, worse he was coming over. I nervously signed, yes to Eon, hoping he'd quickly go away but he didn't move, he gave me a weak smile and signed 'Okay,'

Suddenly to my horror, Mr. Jaids was upon us. He said something to make Eon turn. A moment later Eon handed his test badge to Mr. Jaids. Was he just checking to see if he'd signed in? I didn't think it could be something so innocent not with Mr. Jaids. He looked at the badge for a moment and then gestured for Eon to follow.

Eon looked back at me giving me another weak smile. I just sat there feeling sick. I never in a million years wanted these two to meet. Yet here they were...worlds colliding on the most important day in my adult life so far. I watched them talk for a moment as Eon signed it. He got his test sheet and pencil before Mr. Jaids, personally showed him a desk on the other side of the room. I might as well just walk out right now, because there was no way I was gonna pass this test.

The room finished filling up and soon it was time for the test. Mr. Jaids and several other people went about handing out booklet. Mr. Jaids again ignored me as he handed me my booklet. He treated me like I was just anybody else. That was fine! I could deal with being anyone else this week. Once the booklets were passed out, I tried to focus as the woman at the desk stood and began speaking. Mr. Jaids stood next to her and did her sign language.

"This test will be four hours long and test your basic language skills over three hundred multiple choice questions. Various volunteers will be monitoring you through out the test to make sure you are not cheating. If you have a question raise your hand and someone will assist you. At no point in time can you leave the room and come back in, once the test has started. Leaving even to go to the bathroom will make your test invalid. If you manage to finish before time is up, then fold your answer sheet and pencil in your booklet and sit quietly. Do not take your pencil with you. Everything will be collected at the end. Only when your test has been collected may you leave the room. Now please open you booklets and fill out your name on the answer sheet as instructed by the first page of your booklet. I will give you three minutes do not turn past the first page. When I write the time on the marker board the test will begin. Please fill out your names."

I carefully filled out my name, date of birth and my id number. I kept an eye on the board when she wrote the number on the board. Mr. Jaids signaled the test had begun. I opened the booklet and tried to focus. Question one okay, I got this, questions two, I know this, question twelve, I kept going, a shadow washed over my desk and I froze. I looked to see Mr. Jaids, he loomed next to my desk but didn't look at me. He simply looked down at my sheet without expression and moved on to the next desk. Great he was going to be doing that the whole time. I felt like he was a fucking shark...slowly circling me waiting for the moment he could strike.

What was I doing! Who cares what he was doing, I needed to focus. Three hundred questions in only four hours didn't leave a lot of time. I moved to the next questions and the next. I had no idea how long three hours could be stretched out but it felt like forever.

I kept moved through each question reading them and answering them, sometimes I had to read things twice, at first I looked up trying to see where he was but after the first hour, I got into the groove so much that I made it to like two hundred and twenty seven questions. Suddenly Mr. Jaids knocked on my desk causing it to vibrate.

I looked up, he signed test done. He didn't wait for me to respond, he moved onto the next desk and knocked signing test done. I realized the people in my section were all deaf. He was probably here because he could do sign language so well. I knew from personal experiences there weren't enough teachers that did. For a moment I debated being a teachers…I could translate...maybe I could even teach. It was a possibility I liked helping my younger siblings with their home work, when I could. I put my answer sheet in my booklet and someone came around collecting them.

When I was done I was looking forward to stretch my legs and getting a two hour break before the next test. I walked out into the hall thinking I'd seen a sign for a cafeteria somewhere around here. Someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned realizing it was Eon. Fuck, I'd forgotten with all the testing and Mr. Jaids. He wanted to talk...I'd said yes but why now...why today of all days. I look at him sadly, he finally lost the fake smile looking sad as well. Before he said anything someone came up and put an arm around him. I read his lips, he asked how Eon was doing, if it was too much pressure, if he needed to take a break. Eon said he was fine and he'd meet up with him later.

The guy looked at me realizing we were having a conversation and said who is this. I signed my name, he looked at me weird. Eon told him I was deaf and I was signing my name Song. The young man laughed, "Song seriously and she's deaf damn," Eon elbowed him in the ribs. "Cool," Eon's friend wheezed out, "Very cool," He tried to shake my hand, I didn't shake it back, I wasn't feeling too friendly at the moment. I simply turned to Eon and signed what did you want?

He started to respond but his friend spoke, I turned to see him say, "Wait...wait...this is Song!" He seemed surprised.

Eon turned to him and quickly pulled his friend to the side. I read his lips as he said "Go ahead I'll...I'll... I'll… he waved his hands then said "catch up"

I thought it was a little weird. His friend looked at me again, he looked skeptical now but shrugged, nodded to Eon and then left. Eon turned back to me and gestured for me to go with him. We went down a hall and took a door that led outside. There was a little park area and he gestured for me to take a seat on the bench with him but I didn't feel like sitting. I knew this wasn't going to take long.

He sat down and then slowly "How ...are you?"

"What do you want?" I quickly signed thinking it was pointless to be polite. He looked a bit confused...as if he didn't understand why I didn't feel like being polite.

I read his lips as he raised his hand over his ear "Where is your-," he gestured to his ear again in a circular motion. He must have meant my implants. I froze for a second. I looked down at him realizing he didn't know what I had done. I was sure my mother had told just everybody and he had to have heard by now but I guess he hadn't. I pursed my lips then began chewing on them. I didn't feel like telling him. It was a lot to get into.

"Can we just get this over with," I signed.

He stared at me for a moment with that confused look on his face, then slowly signed "I wanted to say hi," he signed, "How are you?"

"Great," I signed, "Hi, fine."

"I know we," he paused, "left off bad, I'm sorry" he signed slowly. I felt like he was dragging this out. He was apologizing to me but I...I'd already...dealt with this...I was over it. At least I told myself I was. Looking at him, I felt like my chest was gonna cave in on itself. He suddenly looked surprised. He dug through his back and pulled out something that was lighting up.

He turned it off and then looked back at me waiting for me to respond to his apology.

"Okay," I slolwy signed, I bit into my lip squeezing it harder then I should have signing "I'm sorry too" It was taking everything not to break down and cry in front of him. His thing lit up again. It was probably something important. I quickly signed "Well bye?"

Then turned without another word and walked off. As I was walking, I spotted Mr. Jaids, he was staring under a tree in the shade staring at us from a distance...that wasn't creepy at all. He was probably reading our conversation. It was the one thing that sucked about sign language if people knew how to read it, you couldn't have a private conversation, then again, I suppose hearing people could be overheard.

When I could hear I know I had overheard a few conversations. I remember listening in on my mom talk to Marty as they'd mocked my voice. That night was also the same night Eon and I shared our first kiss. My eyes watered up and several tears fell down my cheek. I wiped them away as I kept walking making sure not to run into anyone. There was so many people and a lot of them weren't paying attention.

I didn't want to think about Eon... about Mr. Jaids and everything, I didn't want to think about anything but my test. I walked around the campus looking for the cafiteria. I found it and got myself stuff to go. It was such a nice day I decided I wanted to eat outside, especially when I saw Eon's friend was in the cafeteria. Eon would no doubt catch up to him soon. His friend noticed me as he as talking to some other friends he was with and waved to me. Then he froze and looked confused. I read his lips as he said maybe I wouldn't understand. The girl he was with elbowed him and shook her head before she politely waved to me. I waved back.

Then I rolled my eyes and paid for my food. I went for a small walk and tried to find a table or a bench but most of them was taken. I guess everyone got lunch at the same time as the people taking the test. I wandered into a nearby building and found an empty stair well. I sat against the wall at the top of the stairs and slowly began to eat my lunch.

I got a bag of chips, a cookie and a sandwich that was not what I expected but still pretty good. I also got a carton of chocolate milk. I ate slowly trying not to think. I just wanted to relax until the next test but after a minute or so Mr. Jaids appeared at the bottom of the stairs. I wondered how he found me? Had he been following me? Maybe it was just a coincidence...but I doubted it. I was hoping he'd just pass by but he stood at the bottom of the stairs with his hands in his pockets, glaring up at me. When he saw he had my attention he signed "So that loser is your ex,"

'Can we not,' I signed. I felt very comfortable be along with him. I quickly added. 'I'm not suppose to talk to you.'

'Who says?' he signed, 'Who've you been talking to about us.'

"No one," I signed back "Your brother in law, the doctor, told me to stay away from you, to call him even if I saw you. He told me about you."

"What did he say," he stepping up on the first step.

"Nothing, go away, please" I signed getting scared. He ignored my request drawing closer. I looked around and began to plan a quick escape. I saw a rest room but I worried he might follow me in. I looked back at him he'd stop moving.

'I'm not going to hurt you," he signed looking offended. 'Now what did he say,'

'He said you're struggling with mental health and sex addiction,'

He laughed shaking his head as if he found it funny, "I'm not," he signed, "He just gets jealous,"

"What?" I signed

"He likes me," he signed.

"Oh," I signed but, "But aren't you his sister's husband,"

"So," he signed drawing up another step, "Anyway that's bullshit, I'm not sick and I'm not addicted to sex."

"You still did a lot of crazy things," I signed.

"Me," he signed shaking his head, "You broke my new camera,"

I rolled my eyes I didn't want to get into this again, I grabbed my purse, took out my wallet and grabbed five of the hundreds bills and threw it at him. I didn't know if it would cover it but I figured he'd back off. He saw them fall and stepped forward picked them up. He counted them but didn't looked happy, if anything he looked pissed. He clenched the money in his hands crumpling it up. I read his lips as he demanded, "How did you get this much money,"

"It's none of your business," I signed.

"Are you whoring yourself out," he demanded.

Seriously. I couldn't believe him. "No," I signed standing up on the stairs "You brother in law gave me money when he asked me to stay away from you."

He shifted his gaze, "How much did he give you?" he signed.

"A thousand," I signed, without warning, he darted up the stairs at me. I tried to move but he grabbing my wallet and tossed me aside. I fell down on the top of the stair, I had the chocolate milk in my hand and it spille all over me. I watched him tear opened my wallet and take out everything all the money, my ID and cards for the grocery store and finally my bus pass. He threw it to the ground but pocketed the money and turned to me, "Where is the rest of it! "

Seriously, I quickly signed "I spent it, I had to take a cab home that day, I saw a doctor, got food a couple of days I paid for my test and a bus pass and my lunch today,"

His expression suddenly became eerily calm. He adjusted his shirt, and sleeves, adjusted the wrinkles in his pants and made sure his hair was in place before he casually signed "Are you back with your ex?"

"No," I signed, "I just ran into him today. I haven't been with anyone since you."

He closed his eyes for a moment, I watched his chest rise and sink before he smiled slightly and then looked at me and signed "Stay away from him, or I'll fail him."

"What," I signed, "Don't do that,"

He turned away from me and I chased him. I grasped hold of his arm and he turned. He violently shoved me to the ground, then signed, "Don't touch me filth,"

He turned and then hurried outside. I laid on the ground for a second all my stuff scattered about the stairs. I tried not to cry. I put everything back in my wallet then cleaned up the mess, then went to the bathroom I saw to clean my shirt off in. It was wet and stained, it looked awful. I wished I'd brought a jacket to wear. I looked at myself in the mirror thinking of what Mr. Jaids had said. If he saw me with Eon he'd fail him. Could even do that? I wasn't sure then again I wouldn't put anything past Mr. Jaids. I felt like I couldn't catch a fucking break. Now more then ever I had to stay away from Eon not just or my sake but his own.

I waited until it was nearly time to go back, I couldn't risk running into Eon before the test. When I signed in again. Mr. Jaids was there, with that expressionless look on his face, he acted like nothing had happened. I hated math and knew I needed to focus. I checked got in to my seat and tried to focus on my test. I made a mental not to leave as soon as they got my booklet and run to my bus. The test was harder then I would have liked but when it was over. I made it all the way to my bus without running into Eon. When I got home, I collapsed on my bed feeling stressed out. I couldn't believe I had three more days of this shit, I was so fucked.

The next day I packed a lunch, I need to make sure there was no possibility of running into Eon or Mr. Jaids. The morning was science and the afternoon reading comprehension. I waited until the last minute checked in and took my science test. Mr. Jaids was there yet again, I felt like he passed my desk more then all the others but I might be all the stress.

When it was time to turn in I was the first one out the door this time. I hid in a ladies room on one of the top floors. I ate my packed lunch and waited five minutes before the test started but to my surprise low and behold Eon was waiting outside. When he saw me he waved, he looked concerned and slowly signed, "Are you avoiding me." I just back up, ran and hid. With a minute less to spare, I checked the hall to see he was gone. I dashed inside just in time to check in and take my seat. I worried Mr. Jaids would think that counted but he didn't so much as give me a glance. I hoped he noticed my efforts to stay away from Eon and would let this slide.

When he handed out the booklet he didn't look at me but through me like he used to in class. I figured if he was mad he'd glare at me or something so I took it as a good sign. Reading comprehension turned out to be more involved then I thought. It took up a lot of brain space with mind benders, by the time I was done I was tired. I forgot to dash out but noticed Eon left without bothering me so I guess he got the-

Someone came up to my desk it was that guy from before Eon's friend. He waved at me and handed me a folded up note. I knew who it was from immediately Eon and I used to pass notes back and forth all the time. He'd always fold them in a specific ways. I froze unsure if I could take it Mr. Jaids said to stay away from Eon or he'd fail him. But...he didn't say I couldn't take notes from him but.. I think the idea was to have no contact.

Before I could make a decision about the note. Eon's friend suddenly jumped nearly a foot. Something must have scared him. I noticed several people looking over at us as they were leaving and then Mr. Jaids and another teacher rushed over to us. Mr Jaids pointed at the note. I read his lips as he demanded "Hand that over immediately,"

"Wow, wow," I read Eon's friends lip. "A friend just asked me to pass it on,"

"We do not tolerate cheating of any kind," said another moderator of the test.
"It's not cheating," said the guy he offered the note to them.

Mr. Jaids snatched it up and quickly unfolded it. Great! I watched his eyes read it before handing it to another, "This is your only warning you try and pass anything to anyone and I will have you disqualified."

The moderator also nodded. Then Mr. Jaids turned to me and signed, "Get up,"

I got up. He signed as he spoke that this was a warning to me, I was not to be passing notes. I felt like it had double meaning for me...he was making it clear...no contact what so ever. I nodded and signed I understood. He stormed off taking the note with him. I struggled not get upset. I looked to the ground and then gathered myself. When I looked to the door Eon was standing there staring at me. His friend shook his head and shrugged saying something. Eon looked at me and pleaded with my eyes. I could tell he wanted to talk to me.

Suddenly he turned and I saw Mr. Jaids pointing. Eon and his friend left. Mr. Jaids turned back to me and signed, "Other door, and he pointed to another exit to the room. I did what he wanted...I reminded myself it wasn't just me now, it was Eon. He was threatening Eon. So much for him having no more power. I went through the door and he followed me but he soon walked by me without a word. I went home and collapsed on my bed until dinner and then studied late into the night.

Day three of the test went by smoothly, if you could call doing the essay portion of the test smooth. We each had to answer a series of questions to are best ability. It was grueling eight hours, four hours morning and four hours evening. The final tests was Life Skills. This part had been added a few years back. It was mostly common sense and safety. They wanted to make sure everyone knew the basic life skills like do not put a knife in the toaster. How to read a bank statement, how to pay a bill. If someone offers to lend you money is that legal. If you see a wallet on the street do you turned it in. They also had a few demographic surveys. What was your reason for needing to take this test. How old are you. What is your family's household income.

I considered skipping studying when I got home I was so tried of everything. This next test was silly but some of these could be tricky. If the light is red for cars and they allow turning right on a red light and the cross walk light is green who goes first the car turning right on red or the person crossing the street. I felt like that should be a drivers question. I had looked into getting my license once but you needed practice for that. I didn't have access to a car or the time to practice...maybe one day.

I read basic facts that may or may not be on the test. After a while my brain felt mushy, I laid on my bed, hoping I'd pass if not I'd have to take this test again. I really just wanted to take it and get out of here. I got a post card from my dad's girlfriend once. Maybe if I could get enough money I could go visit her and the twins. It would be nice to see what happened with them. It would be just nice to get away from all this.

Tomorrow was my last test after that I should have no reason to see Mr. Jaids, I hope it would be the last time I saw him. For a moment I thought about Eon...I wonder if it would be the last time I also saw him. This whole time I hadn't seen him once. The city was big but it wasn't that big...I assumed he wanted nothing to do with me but now all of a sudden he seemed to want to something...why...why now. I closed my eyes thinking about it and drifted off to sleep

The next morning I got up early and went about my morning routine. When it was time I left the house and walked to the bus stop. I liked to get to the campus at least two hours early, I like to have plenty of time to get to the test in case something happened. There was no one else at the bus stop. I sat down at the bench and a few minutes later a car pulled up. I thought it was a bit strange. Suddenly Eon got out and waved the driver off.

He came over and sat down next to me.

'What are you doing here?' I signed panicked.

'Hello,' he signed

Again slower I signed, 'What are you doing here?'

'Riding bus,' he signed. He sat down next to me.

'Bullshit.' I signed

'Are you avoiding me?' he slowly signed

I couldn't believe this, I frantically looked around worrying Mr. Jaids would suddenly appear and catch us.

Eon pulled on my arm and again signed "Are you avoiding me?'

I furrowed my brow and responded "Yes, excuse me for just doing as you asked?"

He scratched his eyebrow, I used to think that was so cute. He was still so cute...SHIT! I still...the feelings for him were still there. I hated feeling anything for him. I thought I had gotten passed it. That I had let him go...

"We were friends once-" he slowly signed

"Once, once we were more" I interrupted standing up. It hurt talking to him. I wanted to so badly. So badly I wanted things between us to be different I wanted to ask how he was where he'd been what he had been doing if he...I closed my eyes I couldn't...neither of us could afford it. I turned and slowly signed to him. I hoped he'd listen and do as I casked "Please just leave me alone, you can't talk to me. I can't talk to you,"

"Why," he signed giving me a weird look.

"My mom," I signed making something up, "Doesn't like it,"

He paused then slowly signed "Your mom doesn't know my name."

I shook my head, he was right thought we had been friends for like ever she still called him seizure boy or that boy who has seizures. She probably would have still been calling him that if he was in my life.

"We're not friends anymore," I signed.

"I know," he slowly signed he looked sad.

"I can't. I can't be seen with you." I signed, "Please just stay away from me until after the test is over for your own good."

Again he gave me a weird look, "What's wrong Song?"

Seriously what wasn't he getting. He looked at me and then asked, "Where are your," he paused and then moved his hands around his ears. He waited for me to respond.

I needed him to stop this, to leave me alone. I was trying to be nice but if the bus came we rode together, Mr. Jaids would see and because he was a psychotic prick, he would fail Eon. He'd lose everything again because of me. I needed to make him go away and and... stay away. I turned to him as I saw the bus was coming. He smiled at me and I signed to him "I no longer have my implants" I gestured to my ears continuing "I ripped them out after you ripped out my heart." I lifted up my hair and showed him the scars behind my eyes from when I cut the implants out. I wasn't sure if he could see them but when I looked back at him his mouth fell open. He looked horrified as I knew he would. I struggled to hold myself together and signed "I'm a crazy bitch... Eon stay away from me"

The bus came, I turned from him, not waiting for his response. I got on it and took a seat. It waited for a moment with the doors open I hoped he wouldn't get on, when the doors shut and he didn't I knew that had done the trick. The bus drove off and I turned back to look at him. He was still sitting on the bench with that horrified look on his face. After a moment he leaned forward and dropped his head in his hands.

I knew he was upset...I knew he didn't know...I knew he'd think it was his fault but it wasn't… No I'd done it to myself. I'd been upset with him, upset with all the noise...I'd done it in a moment of anguish...I'd bee stupid... but I'd still made the choice and now I was going to have to live with that choice. We all had to live with our choices. Perhaps one day far away from now, when we were both in a better place. I could write him a letter and explain why I'd said what I said now but for today he needed to keep his distance.

Thank you for Reading^^