Sixteen was a big year for me. It was the first year I really decided I liked to be a young woman. I spent a lot of time on my hair and what I should wear. All the other girls around me already did and I..wanted to start fitting in more...I also wanted to look pretty. I noticed how the boys would look at the other young women and I...noticed the way Chukie would smile at them. He smiled at me too but not like that and I don't know but I wanted him to.

I wanted to go on date and wear pretty smelling flowers and...and ...and..kiss. Sometimes my family would see a play and I started notice like the way the guy would look at the girl and how he'd talk all soft and sweet and romantic like. He'd hold her hand and they'd embrace in a kiss. I don't know why but that my heart beat faster and I...i started to dream about going on dates and holding hands and kissing...Ch- boys...

Lizzy Mendles once left a dirty book in the girls room and I couldn't help but read it. It was really worn out in some parts but...those were really good parts it talked about how a guy who take a girl and make love to her and they would be together at sunset and bath in the moonlight. I wondered how you did that but it sounded nice.

I saw a dance was coming up the first of the year and I actually wanted to go. I used to think they were silly. I was also usually busy with Atley and helping out at home and I didn't know how to dance but a new girl Bella Dean Mason started coming to school from, she used to live in Chutty that was a city and she knew all sorts of things. She talked to me and I liked talking to her. I told her I wanted to go to the dance but I didn't know how and you know what...she said she'd show me and how to put a curl in my hair.

I started to go to her house after school. I told Atley not to come get me for a while but he didn't understand why. He even seemed hurt even. I didn't want to tell him what I was doing cause well...I was still a bit shy about dancing and getting to learn about girls stuff. Bella Dean told me boys and girls weren't suppose to tell each other everything that girls needed to keep secrets at least her mother told her that it's what made a happy marriage. It made sense I guess.

As soon as school got out, we'd carry our books together and start talking but Atley would be waiting for me. I told Dr. Neevis I wanted him to go home but he wouldn't do nothing. He let Atley follow us and even helped him when we crossed busy roads. Atley would cry out my name and kept asking what I was doing and why I wouldn't come to his house. I got really...embarrassed.

Bella Dean didn't like him following us. Her parents didn't like that he'd sit outside and wait until I left. Bella Dean said if he didn't stop following us how from school every day that she wouldn't want to be my friend and she wouldn't teach me how to dance. I got so mad, when I left her house I got into a fight with Atley.

He was just sitting there with his stick waiting for me to get out. Dr. Neevis sat with him and I don't know why but that made me madder cause like Dr. Neevis told me I knew better well so did he. Atley needed to stay at home or do something else… just not follow me. But I guess if Dr. Neevis wouldn't do nothing I had to.

I walked right up to him and said, "You have to stop follow me Atley Kessle." I used both his names so he knew I meant business.

He just smiled and got up, "Are you done can we go home now,"

"No...WE...can not," I said. I put my hands on my hips, like mother did when she was real mad.

"Why not..."

"Cause I told you I don't want you follow me,"

"I don't understand, why can't I follow you? It never bothered you before,"

"Well it doesn't bother me but Bella Dean don't like it."

Atley got to his feet and made a nasty face, "Who cares what Bella Dean thinks, I don't like the sound of her voice and what she says"

"Well I like her voice and I like what she says," I said.

"Why," he said.

"Cause she is my friend."

"NO! I am you friend," he said.

"You can have more then one," I said

"No..." he said weakly, "I don't want you to,"

"Well...too back cause she my friend," I said.

"So...so...so what" he said. "I am a better friend,"

I sighed and said, "You are my friend but there are some things...you can't do,"

I knew I should have phrased it better. I could see with the way his lips moved that he saw it as a challenge. He quickly demanded "Like what!"

"I don't know girl stuff," I said

"Like what," he said again.

"Like I don't know styling hair and make up,"

"What does that stuff matter,"

"It...doesn't' I guess to you but...I just…she's helping me,"

"WITH WHAT!" he said getting angry.

I knew he wasn't gonna let this drop. I thought maybe...maybe if I tell him he will listen to me for once.

I twisted my foot into the ground and put my hands behind my back and said "She's teaching to me to dance okay,"

"Dance...you want to dance," said Atley
"Yes and I don't know how," I said

"Well...I...I know how," he said puffing out his chest

"You do not…Atley"

"I DO TO!" he said.

"I've never seen you dance." I pointed out

"YOU NEVER ASKED DID YOU!" he spat back.

"Why are you shouting,"

"I'm mad...I'M MAD," he said, "I want you to stop hanging out with Bella Dean and dance with me."

"NO..." I said

"YES," he said

"NO" I said. I

"YES," he said.

I wasn't a kid any more...I...I wasn't gonna stand here and argue with him especially since people were starting to look as they passed us by "No," I said quieter, "Now please Atley, stop following me. I'll hang out with you later but stop following me and waiting on me. Go...GO DO something...anything else,"
"I don't want to…"he pouted. "I want to teach you how to dance,"

"YOU CAN'T." I said.

"Because what.. I'M BLIND," he said.

"I didn't say that,"

"But that is what you think... first you say I don't know how to dance and then you say I can't dance...you just assumed I WASN'T CAPABLE LIKE MY MOTHER,"

"ATLEY..."

"NO," he said. moving his head about "I'll SHOW YOU...AMINA LARK!"

He pulled away from me, turning sharply. For a second he reminded me of how his mother used to turn. He stepped away and then tripped falling to the road. He hit it hard, his stick went flyin and he fell on his face. Dr. Neevis rushed up and turned him. Atley laid on the ground for a second but then got himself up and dusted himself off. He reached out for Dr. Neevis and he took his hand. "Home Ever...and fast...I want to go fast"

"Yes...sir," said Dr. Neevis shaking his head.

I watched the two hobble off and I don't know why but I felt bad. It was true, I had assumed he couldn't dance and I thought it was because he was blind. I didn't think he'd be able to see where he was going or his partner but I didn't really know I...I never danced but it looked complicated moving at the same time with someone else to the music. I wanted to learn how to do it so I...so I wouldn't mess up when I went to the school dance.

I wanted to be really good so I could dance with anyone...well not just anyone. I wanted o dance with Chuckie...I blushed when I thought about it but I heard he might be going and I just….I don't know...it was silly….and I knew Atley hated when I talked about Chuck so I just didn't. But if he was going I wanted to...be there.

The next day, I met Bella Dean at school we talked before class and I told her Atley wouldn't follow us. We made had plans to go to her house after school but in the middle of class she got call out. I wondered what it was about. When she returned to class I tried to ask her but she was focused on the teacher.

At lunch I went to sit with her but I couldn't find her and then after school she took off so fast, I couldn't keep up with her. I tried to go to her house just the same but no one answered. The next day I realized she was avoiding me. I said good morning to her and she wouldn't even say it back she didn't and talked to the other girls in class. I wondered what I'd done wrong. I tried to ask at lunch but she wouldn't even look at me.

I left class early saying I had to pee but I didn't, I waited for Bella Dean and I caught her on the way home and even grabbed onto her arm. I asked her what I had done so I could fix it and you know what she said. "I just don't like you, Amina. Leave me alone,"

I let her got and she walked off. I felt really bad after that. I cried as I walked home alone. The next few days were hard… I didn't have anyone to hang out with...I didn't realize how much I liked having a friend at school. A lot of people didn't talk to me cause they thought I was weird since I spent all my time with Atley but Bella Dean nice and she was my first real girlfriend and friends since I was a kid.

I still saw Carry sometimes but he was always with girls doing stuff but Andrew moved away and I didn't really get to know anyone else sept for Chuckie. I saw him talking to some girls, Avi Amberton was twirling her hair at him. She had natural curls. Chuckie looked at me and then got closer to Avi…he even offered to carry her books. I don't know why but I got so mad, I ran home. I collapsed on my bed and decided I wasn't going to no stupid dance.

That weekend however Dr. Neevis came by and said Atley wanted to see me. I didn't want to see him so I said no. He spoke with my mother and she said I had to go. I stomped my feet as I got ready but I went to the house and found they had moved all the stuff out of the living room. I thought it was weird.

Atley was standing in the middle of the floor without his stick. I scratched my head and said, "What? What do you want?"

Atley cleared his throat and extended his hand. "You're hand,"

I gave it to him and then Dr. Neevis turned on some music. He crossed his arms and leaned up against the wall watching us. Atley put his other hand around my waist and I slapped it, "Atley you shouldn't touch me there,"

"I am trying to teach you how to dance," he grimaced. He put his hand back on my waist and then said, "I lead, two steps to the side, follow me," I moved with him and we shuffled around the floor. "Dancing," he said, "Is actually rather simple… more simple then stairs because the ground level never changes,"

He kept stepping and told me to follow him at one point he spun me and then would pull me in and push me out. He would step and I would step and I couldn't believe it were were dancing. I wondered when he'd learned to dance.

"When did you learn to dance,"

"Ages ago," said Atley proudly.

Dr. Neevis coughed and Atley grinned, we continued to dance until I got the hang of it. Mrs. Kessle came into the room at one point and said, "Oh so that is what you two have been doing these last few days,"

I looked at Atley and his cheeks reddened, "Mummmmy,"

"What," she said not realizing she'd given him away.

"Ages huh," I said with a laugh."How many hours did it take you,"

"I already knew how, she doesn't know what she's talking about,"

"You look like a little gentlemen," said Mrs. Kessle she looked like she was gonna cry and asked, "Can I have the next dance?"

"NO," Atley spat, "I only dance with my Amina,"

"And Dr. Neevis I'm betting," I teased. It was at times like this I wished he could see my smirk.

Mrs. Kessle frowned and I felt bad for her. I pursed my lips and then asked, "Please, Please dance with your mother."

"No...I will not," he said sternly.

"But...I ...I want to see how good you are. I can't see how you dance if I'm dancing with you."
He sighed but let go of me and stepped back, "One dance, only so Amina can see how good I am"

Mrs. Kessle clapped her hand and smiled. Stepped up to him and he roughly took her hand and barely touched her waist. I could see he wasn't happy but I didn't think one dance with his mother would kill him. They moved around the room and Mrs. Kessle said, "You're father and I used to dance like this...he was much taller though,"

Atley paused then.

"What is it dear," asked Mrs. Kessle, "What is wrong?"

"I would have been taller to. If you'd let me get out of bed, if you'd given me proper exercise and food. I would have been normal..."

"Altey," she said.

He let go of her and she got upset. "I..I DID MY BEST FOR YOU! I DID EVERYTHING I COULD TO...TO MAKE YOU HAPPY! WHY! WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO!"

"I don't hate you," said Atley quietly. "I just don't care...like you didn't care."

She let out a shriek "I CARED….HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT!

Mrs. Kessle turned to Dr. Neevis. "What have you been telling him,"

"Only the truth," said Dr. Neevis.

"You ungrateful! I brought you into his house. You are my doctor. Why...I...I can fire you just as I hired you. I wanted you to help my son not...not turn him against me."

"He didn't turn me against you. He just didn't lie to me." said Ately. "He told me the truth even...even if it hurt. He cared enough to give me a chance to better myself,"

"Atley...I didn't know you'd...you'd be able to,"

"You didn't let me try," said Atley. "And even now you're trying to take from me,"

"I haven't taken anything from you," she said offend, " I tried to...to give you everything,"

"You just threatened to fire the man who gave me a life," said Ately

"I just want you back..." she reached out touching his cheek, "I want my precious..."

He slapped her hand away. "You want the baby who needed to you…. Depended solely on you for his every need. I AM NOT THAT...NOT ANYMORE."

"ATLEY," said Mrs. Kessle holding her hand.

I felt weird standing there. It felt private, I turned and started to leave but Atley called out to me. "AMINA...WHERE ARE YOU GOING…."

"I...you and your mother are talking," I said

"WE ARE DONE." he said. He carefully walked over to me and grasped hold of me, "Come let us continue." Dr. Neevis put on another song.

"ATLEY," said Mrs. Kessle upset.

"Mrs. Kessle," said Dr. Neevis. He walked up to her "Come with me"

"No I, I don't want to I want to.. Atley," said Mrs. Kessle.

"You don't know...what is like to love something so much...to watch it suffer." said Mrs. Kessle. "I just wanted to help you…"

"Then leave me alone," said Ately.

"I'll never leave you alone," she cried, "I am you're mother. I will ALWAYS...ALWAYS do what is best for you."

Dr. Neevis grasped hold of her and ushered her from the room. Atley and I danced, even after the song ended. At one point we got closer and closer until Atley wrapped his arms around me. I could see he was crying as tears escaped until his glasses. I hugged him back and we continued to sway.

At one point he whispered, "You're all I need...There isn't anything I wont do for you,"

"Atley," I said "You don't need to do anything, I'm here,"

He held me tighter then and said, "Never leave me..."

"Atley I'll have to go home eventually," I joked

"You...you know what I mean,"

"Yes, I suppose," I said.

"You...you always make me so happy...you're voice...the way you smell...the way you feel."

Atley I said as he squeezed me tighter, my ribs started to hurt, "You're hurting me...let...me go,"

"No...not ever," he said..."Not ever."

In that moment he reminded me of the small child I knew. Dr. Neevis returned to the room and called out, "ANOTHER SONG,"

It seemed to bring Atley to his senses and he loosened his grip on me, "Y...yes…"

When we started dancing again I tripped a few times. He laughed at me and teased me about stumbling over my own feet. When it was time to go home, he walked me. I felt I should apologized, "I'm sorry Atley. I wont assume you can't do anything anymore,"

"You shouldn't..." he said with a grin. "I can do everything,"

"Yes you can," I said. "And I'm sorry we...we fought...I...Bella Dean isn't my friend anymore,"
"Is she now," said Atley. I swore I saw him smile but he quickly frowned, "I'm sorry to hear that,"

"It's okay," I said. "I'm glad your my friend,"

"So I can start waling you again,"

"Yes," I said. "Only if you want to...you really don't need to...if you have other things"

"No..." he said, "I want to...I always want to,"

He left and after that he met me every day after school. He even started showing up before school cause it occurred to him I needed to walk there. I though it was a bit much especially when he started eating breakfast with us but he'd bring ham and mother would make pancake. So I guess it was okay.

The dance was on a weekend. I decided to go after all but I needed to be careful. I spent my weekends with Atley and I worried he might not want me to go to the dance. I fibbed and said I was feeling sick and would be in bed most the day so I probably wouldn't visit. Atley insisted on coming over to my house but I told him I needed my rest or I might get really really sick. I could tell he was upset but he agreed not to come over.

I got ready early...way too early I was the first one there. When things finally got going it wasn't like I imagined. The older girls were on one side and the older boys were on the other. Little kids ran all around and I spent the first few minutes just standing against the wall.

People slowly started to mesh and dance with one another. I saw Chuckie there and he saw me too. He looked at me and smiled and but I put my nose up at him. He crossed his arms then and stood against the opposite wall.

I began to think I might not dance but neither was Chuckie so...it was okay. Then Jackson Tibbs who was year younger then me walked up to me from a group of boys. He asked me to dance and I did for a little bit, his hands shook the entire time and he kept staring my chest.

I asked him why and he said my chest was one of the biggest in school. I don't know but it grossed me out. I was glad when the dance was done and he left but found myself. I saw Chuckie and he was dancing wit Avi. I felt down then and then I looking at my boobs wondering if they were big. How big were they suppose to get. I was sadly looking at my boobs when Chuckie came up to me.

I looked at him wide eyed and I tried to joke," Not dancing with Avi," I meant it to be light but it came out snotty.

"Not dancing with Jackson," he teased back.

"He only stared at my boobs,"

"They're nice I guess," he said and then he looked away and turned red.

"You guess," I said realizing he was embarrassed.

"I don't know I haven't really looked," he said, he couldn't look at me.

"Really," I laughed.

He looked angry he started to walk away and I felt bad I didn't mean to upset him. However after a few steps he put his hands in his pocket and stormed up to me. He kept his head down and said "Do you want to dance booby or what,"

"You asking," I said quietly. I wasn't sure if he heard me over the music. I bit my lip and he looked up shyly.

"Maybe," he said.

"I guess," I said. I felt so...so nervous. I nearly tripped walked out on the dance floor with him. I suddenly forgot what I was suppose to do. I lifted the wrong hand then switched and he switched and it was messy but finally, he put his hands on my hips and I put a hand on his and we clasped hands. His hand it was so wet...or maybe mine was.

I don't know why but when he touched me I also felt...felt hot….like butter melting in the sun. I looked at him and he was looking away. Then he looked and I looked way and then we both looked and our eyes locked and I was like...I wasn't nervous no more. I just stood there staring...both of us forgot to move at all but I didn't care and he didn't care so we just stood there.

When the song ended we still hadn't moved a muscle some little kids laughed us as they ran by. We pulled apart and then the next song started. I quickly said, "Hey….

"What," he said looking nervous.

"We didn't dance,"

"I...know…,"he said. "I was waiting for you to move,"

"You...are suppose to lead, that is how I learned it,"

"Oh, well my mom she…whatever, I'll do it"

We clasped hand again and he touched my hip. This time we moved but we both were just well we didn't say anything. We just looked at each other and I didn't want to stop looking, my heart pounded in my chest and I wondered how...how...like I touched Chuckie a ton as kids but now I just...It was different my body felt different and his body felt.

The song ended and he looked hesitant. He started to pull away but I didn't want him to go. I said, "You...you call that a dance,"

"You not happy," he said.

"I...think you... could do better but you suck so,"

"Okay," he said, "Fine Again,"

"Again,"

"Again,"

When the next song ended he said, "Pfft that was nothing lets go again,"

I didn't protest I could have stayed in his arms all night but then...then Atley appeared. The whispering started up it traveled on the dance floor. Chuckie and I were feeling more like ourselves. We saw some people dipping so Chuckie was dipping me but like every few seconds. I found it fun and I laughed and laughed. We were sort of just playing now. I saw Dr. Neevis against the wall he looked mad at me.

I held my breath realizing I'd been caught fibbing. I swallowed and looked around for Atley. He was titling his head all over at all the sounds and then he was slowly coming over. I don't know why I thought I was gonna be in trouble. I finally breathed and Chuckie notice I'd gotten serious. He looked at me and then what I was looking at. He let me go.

Ately looked confused he moved his head all around and kept smelling the air he paused and moved about confused. His stick kept hitting people. Then he started calling out, "AMINA, AMINA," "Over...over here," I said as everyone was looking at me.

I kept talking till he came to me then and smiled, "I heard you laughing,"

"Oh what are you doing here?"

"I thought you were sick," he said. "I had Ever make you soup but you weren't home,"

"I felt better," I lied.

"Really," he said

"Yes," I said. "How did you know I was here,"

"Stewart told me about the dance...You should have told me...I almost missed it."

"Oh sorry...I...I wasn't sure I was going," I felt sick now...I didn't like lying but I didn't want to upset Atley. I said I turned to Chuck and he...he was gone. I looked for him and he'd just walked off. I couldn't help but think "coward" Was he still scared of the mummy.

"Shall we," said Atley. He offered me his hand.

"Yes," I said and we danced.

As we dance he said,"You're so silly,"

"How so," I said.

"You asked me to teach you to dance so that we could go to this dance and then you forgot to tell me about it,"

"I….what," I was confused.

"How else were you going to dance tonight," he chuckled.

"Well I dance just fine now that you taught me,"

"How? by yourself?" he said. "That seems strange,"

"With others," I said, "Who's being silly now,"

"With the kids?" he said.

"No with others my own age," he paused like he didn't consider that.

"There are others your age here," he said.

"Yeah...what did you think it was just me and a bunch of kids,"

"Yeah, like at home"

"Wait so you though Bella Dean was like a little kid," I chuckled

"Yeah...I wondered why you'd rather hang out with a kid then me,"

"You...you are so silly Atley. No there are lots of boys and girls my age here. There was this one boy Jackson he just kept staring at my boobs, can you believe he said they were the biggest in school,"

"You danced with someone else," coldly. We stopped moving.

"Yeah you do that at a dance you dance with all sort of people," I said

"No..."he said. He looked angry then, "I didn't teach you to dance so...so you can dance with other people. I don't...I DON'T WANT OTHER PEOPLE TOUCHING YOU….YOU'RE MINE,"

"Atley," I said everyone was staring at us…

Oh...I was so embarrassed, like I felt like I was gonna die. I...I needed to get out of there. I quickly pulled away. Atley he reached out for me but I avoided him. Everyone was looking at me weird and I just wanted to leave. I rushed outside and he stumbled around bumped into others. "AMINA….AMINA...AMINA,"

I didn't meant to leave him like that I knew it would be hard for him but I just...I needed to get out there. I felt like I might explode but once the fresh air hit me I started to calm down. I ran my fingers through my hair thinking everyone in school heard that and I just felt... I don't know upset. A few minutes later Dr. Neevis was rushing outside with Atley, "Wait up," he called.

I waited. He brought Atley over and he yelled at me, "WHY DID YOU JUST ABANDON ME LIKE THAT!"

"YOU SHOUTED IN FRONT OF EVERYONE," I yelled back

"SO..."

"SO IT WAS EMBARRASSING!"

"EMBARRASSING! DO I EMBARRASS YOU!"

Others were coming out of the dance we were being so loud I grabbed onto his hand and tried to be quieter. "Yes were not kids anymore you….YOU can't say I'm yours,"

"BUT HOW WILL THEY KNOW," said Atley.

"Quiet down and I don't belong to you,"
"You're my friend," he said.

"I..am your friend but I'm other peoples friends too,"

"Like who,"

"Like other people…"

"Like who,"

"I don't know it just...it embarrasses me when you say I'm yours..."

"Well I don't like you being with other people,"

"You're with other people.

"No I'm not,"

"You have your mother Ever and Madeline,"

"They aren't my friends," said Atley. "You are,"

"I know I am but like don't say...you're mine no more cause please people might think…

"We was lovers," said Atley surprising me. I wasn't thinking of that I thought that...they might think I don't know what I was thinking. My face went hot all the way to my ears, "What do you know about lovers!"

He smiled big, "I know I love you,"

"No...no," I said waving my hands about. "Don't say that,"

"But its true, an intense feeling, a deep affection, a great pleasure,"

"Atley don't tell me the definition I know what it is,"

"Then you agree," said Atley.

I didn't know what to say to that "Just don't say you own me,"

"So say I love you instead?" said Atley.

"Atley..." what wasn't he getting. He chuckled and I don't know if he was messing with me or not.

"I'm tired I want to go home," I said

"Let's get ice cream," said Atley. "Then we can go home.

"I don't feel like ice cream," I said. I just...I felt like I...like my head was messy.

"Not even with chocolate…." he said.

"Atley,"

"How about cake and ice cream," he said, "My treat,"

"You don't have to I have money of my own," I said

"It's my money," said Atley.

"Yeah but I have money too," I said.

"No, I meant your money is my money. I give your family money," said Atley.

"I know that" I said.

"So it's my money even when its yours."

"I guess,"I felt weird. "You know you don't have to pay them. I would hang out with you even if you didn't,"

"I know but you need it….I know how much your father doesn't make and you have five brothers and sisters if it weren't for me you'd be really poor,"
I knew he was saying it innocently but I just felt like...weird. Like there was this sudden pressure. I also didn't like that he knew how much my father didn't make even I didn't know that.

"Ice cream," said Atley. He held out his arm.

"I guess," I said.

We started walking and I felt odd. He said...he loved me...but I...I don't think he understood what that meant or...or maybe he did and I just didn't...I didn't feel that way. I don't know I just felt odd...I felt a this whole night had just been so so odd, the way I had felt with Chuck had been...I'd never felt like that. Then like Atley showing up and I got embarrassed and like him saying he loved me an all.

I also felt like it wasn't right that he had to pay my family for me to hang out with him, like I know we needed the money but didn't he need it too or something. As we ate our ice cream and he was laughing, all happy. I don't know why but for the first time I felt I was somehow taking from him...