15
The next time I woke I was more aware Eon was back he was yelling, at least I think he was. He was at an angle. His face was red, his hands were angrily moving about and his mouth kept getting big and moving fast. I could only catch a few words. "Selfish... Cared...Noticed...Happen!" He wore a bracelet that began flashing on his wrist. He paused and took a step back. I could see him better. I looked too see who he was talking to on the other side of the room, it was my mom, she was sitting in a chair, and she was crying.
"I just thought if people saw what he did to her, they'd arrest him sooner or donate some money for her teeth. They look so bad-" She cut off
I looked back at Eon-look so bad," he said. I could see he was trying to calm down holding the arm with his bracelet. "We're lucky she is alive… she nearly die. She is still not out of the woods. She had an infection, had to have emergency surgery and you brought a news crew into her room." My eyes widened. WHAT! SHE DID WHAT! He went on, "That wasn't for her that was for your." He pursed his lips, shook his head and then his lips almost moved to fast to read, "You wanted people to see you sitting by her bed. You want to fix her teeth cause you don't like how they look." He closed his eyes "You always push her...you always... you always want to fix even when there nothing's wrong with her. She's here that's...that's enough...she's alive she's here everything else can wait, for her to decide." He opened his eyes and I looked back at my mom.
She was even more upset, "You have no idea how hard it's been for me. Song has never been an easy child. Everything I do, I try to help, I try to be a good mom, but it's never enough for her. No matter what I do." I glanced at Eon.
"You just need to be here...listen," said Eon. "Just listen to her, that is what I do"
I glanced back at her "You know we can't talk to each other like normal people," she said, "You know it's hard for me to string it all together. I write letters, she could write me letters but she doesn't. She was right I guess...I didn't but it was because I still felt self conscious about my handwriting with her. I wrote her notes but never more then one or two lines cause she made fun of my handwriting
Eon knew he was shaking his head "She knows you don't like her handwriting, you called it chicken scratch"
"Oh I never said that," My mom denied.
"I know you did, she told me, she tells me everything and it's not hard. When we talk it's perfectly normal."
My mom shook her head I could she she was upset. "If she tells you everything. Where were you, this whole time. When she was with her teacher"
No don't say that. That was my fault. I furrowed my brow.
Eon pulled back "I was recovering" said Eon. "I had to sort myself out,"
"Right, well look at you, it's easy for you to point fingers and blame everyone else but if you'd been there, been in touch with her at all. She might not have hooked up with him."
Eon got so mad then. His clenched his fists, his bracelet went off and his mouth got big. Eon told me it was suppose to notify him if his stress got to be too much. It didn't guarantee a seizure but it let him no one was more likely to occur. I knew this wasn't good for him but he was angry yelling at my mother, "She didn't hook up with him, he raped her and forced her to keep seeing him. You lived with her...you should have….have noticed….if you... you spend more... then five...five min-"
He started to stare off into space looking confused. His speech had slowed. I knew what was happening. He'd space a few seconds before it hit him. I tried to sit up. My mom didn't see it. My mom didn't know what to look out for. Her mouth was moving but she wasn't seeing. I painfully struggled forcing myself to move...to hit the alert button on the side of my bed. I just managed falling back.
It went off my mom didn't know what was going on. A nursed rushed in, "What's wrong,"
Eon hit the floor and started seizing. The nurse rushed to him and helped. Another person rushed in then Chad. He was carrying drinks he must have gone to get them. I watched as Chad dropped the drinks and sunk next to Eon. He quickly and injected him. He stopped convulsing and thye held him then...It was slow but he started to come out of it.
My mom just stood there looking at him and then me. She shook her head and said, "I can't do this anymore...I can't…the both of you are too much" She threw her hand down grabbed her purse and stormed out of the room.
They move Eon from my room to a gurney and took him somewhere else. I assumed they were checking him out...making sure he had recovered. Sometimes it could take a few minute or hours to start feeling like himself. Once he told me he felt off for days. I thought about what they'd been fighting about. My mom had brought a news crew in while I was recovering. I didn't even noticed it. They both blamed each other for things but I didn't blame either of them.
It was my fault...I was an adult. I should have gone to the police that first night but I'd been to confused conflicted I thought I knew what sexual assault was that it was a stranger but I felt I knew him by them He'd become an important part of me world. It was stupid foolish...all of my excuses.
I'd wanted to fill the pain...and the pleasure it had felt good...it as wrong but it felt like a release and him telling me what to do...had unburdened me from thinking for myself. All of this was my fault. I...I should have gotten out, should have quit his class or taken another. I don't know...I had wanted his attention his approval the release. I had just wanted to escape but there was no escape. This was my life and now me here in the hospital bed was my outcome. I recalled thinking my life couldn't get much worse when I'd chosen him. Look at me now. I closed my eyes and sat for a moment but I tried not to feel sorry for myself...I just..wanted this to be..over… I wanted all the pain, the trauma to stop hurting. I felt like I'd been shot and the wound wouldn't stop bleeding and was making other people around me bleed. Eventually I drifted off to sleep.
**********
My mom didn't come back to the hospital after that but Eon did. He looked worse for wear some of his blood vessels had brok in one of his eyes. Chad insisted he stay calm. Eon promised he would, he took out the chair and we went through the standard small talk. Eventually, I told him if he needed time to step away he could take it. That we didn't have to be together we could just be friends or nothing if he wanted.
He looked hurt but said he understood if I needed, time, he could go but he'd be here for me however I needed. I replied he didn't have to be here for me, that I understood if he wanted distance given...my affair. He stared at the eye chart for a very long time then signed, "You need to stop calling it an affair. Song. It wasn't an affair, He raped and abused you."
I sat there for a bit but then began to spell out on the chart. I didn't think I was a victim, I'd liked a some of the sex. I'd escaped in the pain, the humiliation and there were times it wasn't all bad." He sat there for several minutes again. When he looked back at me, I used the chart to explain I wasn't trying to justify what Mr. Jaids had done but I wanted him to know I wasn't innocent in all this and its okay if he wanted an out."
He started crying then, Chad wanted us to stop at once. I read Eon's lips as he said he couldn't handle this I needed to be set straight. It wasn't right I thought like this. He signed slowly making sure I could focus. He said he knew what I was saying and how I felt but Mr. Jaids was my teacher, but he was a thirty year old man, he was in a position of power and took advantage of me. He set me up and raped me and everything that happened after that was just me coping."
I shook my head. I tried to use the chart saying I let him do things to me that I had given ii cause it was easy. That I'd used him as any escape-"
He looked at me and signed, "You don't need to explain yourself…everything he did to you was wrong Song. He is a monster, he tried to kill you and threw you in the-"
He paused catching himself. I wanted him to continued but he didn't. His braclet was going off. Chad looked like he was about to haul him out of the room. Eon promised he'd calm down and just signed "I'm not mad. I don't want to go anywhere. I love you. I'm here if you want me." I nodded a lot. I used the chart to tell him I wanted him I'd always want him. I loved him. He moved and squeezed my hand and then he calmed down much to the delight of Chad. We kept things light. When they left I was still up and alert. I could use some of my fingers some.
A nurse turned on the tv and put it on subtitles so I could watch. I watched cartoons for a little while, then I flipped around, I saw part of a movie and then caught the news.
They said a lot of people were getting sick from eating jelly dough a new craze. But first they had an update about the story they ran the other night. I saw myself on the news. They said I been got missing abducted missing for over a week found in latex in a dumpster. I froze...recalling the smell of trash. They showed a clip of the two men that had found me. They had been dumpster diving cause some people threw a lot of good stuff away. They said I'd been just laying there covered in trash. At first they thought I wasn't real. They thought I was some some weird mannequin or sex doll that had been thrown out. They moved me and realized I was still breathing.
The news said they had graphic images and advised viewers with small children. They showed EMT's pulling me out of the trash in that full body robber suit. They cutting off the suit open and began treating me as they transporter me. They then cut to an update they filmed months later and it was me in the hospital. I watched them walk in with my mom she held my hand and said my teacher had done this to me and if anyone could give donations we'd appreciate it. I was unconscious and she lifted my lip to show my teeth and then pointed out some of the words he'd carved on me.
They said they were looking into finding out who this teacher was but as of now they had no names. They asked if anyone in the community. Had any information about me to please call them. I felt sick after that and turned off the TV. For hours I just stared off into space, tears streaming down my cheeks. Mr. Jaids had thrown me in a dumpster….like I was used up trash. I realized then he hadn't planned on me surviving.
He had intended on killing m. I shivered with the thought...all the times I spent with him...every moment he looked at me, he touched me and was inside me. I felt so sick when I realized he could do this to me. Seeing seeing me...like this. Everyone would see those words...what would they think… I felt so...so...sick...I puked…
The nurse came in and my temperature was up. I had a four day fever after that. I don't remember much, another surgery. My mom didn't show up again but Chad were by my bedside. My brother came by and signed for a little but I was so out of it. When my fever finally broke I was depressed. I felt like I was never going to recover..that I was never getting out of this bed, this room. I got stir crazy.
Eon showed me he'd made a chart like the police with common words...and things. I told him I watched the news. He shook his head and signed for me to stay away from it. I wanted to know if he'd been arrested. I wanted to know he was going away for this. Eon looked even more upset. I begged him to tell me what he heard. Eon wouldn't but I persisted until signed Mr. Jaids was denying everything. Ever knowing me outside of class. He was claiming I had was mental that I was obsessed and had made up everything. I couldn't believe this...he was denying it all...how could he.
Eon didn't want to talk about any of it. I told him I wouldn't watch the news but I needed to know what was going on. I needed to know he was going to get caught and go away. I secretly kept watching and waiting for any news and eventually found it. They said they had discovered the name of the alleged teacher who had attacked me. They claimed the story took another twist as things weren't as they appeared to be. They introduced Mr. Jaids showing professional pictures of him. They made it seem like he was an outstanding teacher, a good husband and a recent father. Who had been caught up in a mentally ill students lies and obsession.
I couldn't believe they were making him out to be a victim. I was caught off guard by the announcement he was a recent farther. He told me he had a vasectomy and didn't want kids but the show found him coming out of a hospital, with his wife and their new baby girl. My breath caught this was the first time I'd seen him since...since he'd done what he did. He seemed surprised by the cameras.
He took a moment to hand his baby to his brother in law, I couldn't see it, the baby was already in a car seat. The brother in law took it and helped his sister to the car. Mr. Jaids then walked up to the cameras. It looked so strange seeing him. It felt like I was watching a strange...his body language the way he moved it was all different. He'd cut his hair short and it was uneven. He had grown a five o'clock shadow and I could see he'd lost some weight again.
He'd lost weight before but had gained some of it back after we'd gotten together again. He was wearing glasses and looked like a very docile man. Not at all like the cocky control freak I'd come to know. I read the subtitles as he spoke. He greeted the camera people and denied the allegations. He said he didn't really know me beyond a few interactions. He didn't want to speak to much on it involved another persons mental health. He said I was a very disturbed young woman and he hoped I would get the help I needed and that he hoped they found who had done this to me. He was a recent father of a daughter and he didn't know any person could do that to someone. Finally he asked that people be respectful of him and his family at this time.
I couldn't believe him what person could do this to someone. YOU! YOU!YOU! He put on a good show for the cameras. I noticed Janika Hones didn't attack him with a million questions. She just let him pulled from the camera and get in his car. He then drive off with his family. Well after the show was over I just sat there in disbelief. He said he got a vasectomy had it been another one of his lies. I was so confused. I also wondered how long I been out. It had to be a while for he and his wife to have a baby or had his wife been pregnant when we were together.
Things went down hill from there. They did a piece on him, how he volunteered, was an advocate for the disabled, a good teacher. Students of his class were interviewed one girl I recognized but didn't know said I was really weird. I was always disrupting her I was always staring at Mr. Jaids trying to get his attention. I came to class wearing barely anything and didn't put on underwear it was so nasty.
One time she and a friends of hers that also too Mr. Jaids class, thought I was master baiting in the woman's room. She also said her friend saw me open my legs whenever Mr. Jaids was up front that she could tell he was uncomfortable but would try to ignore it. She said once his wife came into class and I looked really upset, like a crazy stalker.
She said Mr. Jaids was never inappropriate. He was always ready to answer questions and help students. He helped her get ready for her test and she passed. She now had plans for college and it was all thanks to Mr. Jaids. She publicly thanked him and hoped his name would be cleared soon.
Over the next few days they uncovered some underground sex club. They said I was often there, that I was a prostitute and would proposition men in allies. Multiple male students came forward they had see me do stuff. I recognized one of the names the Detective Bisk had mentioned. He said he and a friend had seen me master baiting in a park. I was just going at it for anyone to see. I sat there realizing...he wasn't wrong. I had done those thigns but I hadn't realy thought anyone else would see me...i'd foolishly thought it was just me and Mr. Jaids.
Photos started popping up all over town, dozens of them had been found and were sent in by viewers to the news station. They had to blur them but said the photos were disturbing. It showed me exposing myself in public places, putting dangerous items inside me and having sex with multple people. I couldn't believe this. One person said they heard I got off on pain and would ask people to kick my privates.
They said I frequented a sex shop and would offer to blow men in the alley outside. One guy had his face blurred and said I had a trash fetish that we had sex and that I asked him to throw me away. I ever climbed into a trash can when he wouldn't do it. He said I liked rolling around in garbage and wanted people to use me and throw me away that I got off on being trash.
They showed photos of me clothed outside sex clubs. I knew the some of these places, he'd taken me there before but I didn't know if that was next to a sex club. He once teased I was lucky I was his because if he didn't own me. I would have no doubt ended up in sex club and been have blown out by twenty one. I didn't know what blown out had meant but I think that is the only time he ever mentioned sex clubs to me.
They had multiple nights on everything I'd supposedly done. They talked more of sexual torture, more reports surfacing I liked it roughed and paid people to beat me to get off. One anonymous user had wrote in saying I enjoyed a belt around the neck, that I wanted someone to choke me out and stuff me in a trash bag. He said he distanced himself from me thinking there was something wrong with me. That I was like suicidal.
They got a video sent in of me master baiting in a public park, they couldn't share it but said it was a tape for sale in a sex hop. And multiple men could bee seen watching me masturbate and expose myself. They showed some stills of me walking around in a fur coat saying I'd drop sex toys on the ground of people to find. They said they found multiple other videos for sale, one had me in a hotel dangerously insertions things. I started hyperventilating when I found out anyone could see the things I had done I thought those videos were private but he was setting them.
The news speculated I'd found someone to for fill my trash fantasy. They believed now I had men do those things to me and had wanted to be dropped in that dumpster. That I was suicidal and they had reports of me hurting myself and having been in a mental ward when I was younger. They then reminded viewers it was speculation and had not been proven. Police were still investigating but would like tips.
I kept consuming it. The worst news cast of all was when they found my family. Marty answered the door and said he had no idea that this was happening, that I was a depraved pervert. He tried to take me in as his own and help me but he'd known I always had a screw loose. He said I'd nearly killed a guy before messing around with him that I hit my mother and now that he knew what I was, I wasn't welcome back here.
My mother tried to explain it wasn't her fault that she didn't know that I must have gone mental after my boyfriend dumped me and got a restraining order. It was out of context. She said things were never the same after I removed my implants that she'd lost me to this world of undergrounds sex and now she didn't know what to believe. Marty pulled her in the house. I burst into tears then realizing I really didn't have a family anymore.
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