A/N Just a quick reminder. This is the original published version. Any Sequals will be based off the updated (Refresher) Version
I needed something, anything at this point. I was desperate… Normally I didn't like to leave things until the last minute but a lot had been going on lately. We'd just moved into a new apartment and we were still getting settled in. Then this morning Derek broke his arm in two places so we spent most of the afternoon at the doctors.
I really considered bailing on the party but Derek insisted I go and I couldn't let Polly go alone. So here I was, ten minutes before I was supposed to be there, looking for something, anything, to bring. I'd found the address and thank goodness there was a corner market.
I popped in and grabbed a small shopping basket. Looking around, I scrambled to think what would be customary in this case. Chips and dip? Maybe at a child's party or even a sports party but this was supposed to be a reunion of sorts. A bunch of my old classmates from middle school had ended up in the same city and one of them got the bright idea to get us all together.
I wasn't a fan of parties, or reunions for that matter, but my best friend Polly had been over the moon with excitement. She couldn't wait to meet up with everyone again, full of nostalgia… Nostalgia was nothing but pain for me. My childhood hadn't exactly been...I closed my eyes knowing I needed to focus if I was going to get this done. Even if I wasn't a fan of reunions, Polly was, and I refused to let my darkness cloud her light.
I turned around an aisle and saw it: a wine section. It was a small one but still one nonetheless. Wine seemed like the perfect choice right now. Of course I didn't have much choice but it seemed reasonable. I'd seen people bring wines to gatherings all the time in movies and on TV shows.
I looked around real quick for a party bag and found some curly ribbon as well, something to make it look like I might have put some real thought into this. Then I returned to the wine section. Almost all the bottles looked the same. I sighed. I knew absolutely nothing about wine…
I'd had it every now and then but only found myself disappointed. Growing up I'd thought wine was just fancy grape juice. After all, wine was made from grapes. It was a plausible assumption. But to date not a single wine I'd tasted was even close to grape juice. A few of them tasted like olives but...I realized I was going off again, getting nervous about seeing everyone.
I sighed and looked across the aisle to see a man...a handsome man, looking at a bottle of wine. Normally I didn't notice guys, not since being with Derek. He was all I needed. But this man looked like he'd stepped out of the pages of a fashion magazine. He was wearing designer black rimmed glasses, had his hair styled, and wore a long, expensive looking coat. He...he looked like a man who knew what he was looking for when it came to wine.
I cleared my throat, taking a chance that he might assist me in my quest for a decent wine. The man looked up from his wine bottle. Our eyes met and my heart stopped. For a moment I lost myself, He...he had the most striking eyes behind those glasses. They were a shade of blue I'd only ever seen once before...but it...he couldn't-
"Yes?" he said. I realized I was staring and holding my breath.
I shook the thought from my mind and started breathing again, "Uh, sorry, might you know a good wine?"
"What's the occasion?" he spoke so quietly I almost didn't hear him.
"A reun-a get together...a party."
"Hmm," he said, looking at me for a second longer. The side of his mouth lifted into a smirk before he shifted his gaze. He lifted a bottle of wine that was a few inches over, "It's basic...but well received by most."
He handed it to me and I looked at the label, followed by then the price. It was reasonable. "Thank you," I said, looking back up, but he was already gone.
I shrugged and put the bottle with the bag and party bow in my shopping basket. I should have been good to go but I wanted to get something for Derek. Something small but nice that would make him happy, to let him know I was thinking of him. I wandered around the store a bit more. I got him some of his favorite jerky and a sports magazine that featured a team he liked.
I paid for it all and then maneuvered everything. I put the jerky in my coat pockets and rolled up the magazine, stuffing it in the inner layer of my jacket. I put the wine bottle in the bag with the party string and wondered if I should have gotten a card. No...cards were for birthdays or special events. This was a just bunch of people from middle school getting together.
From the market, I made my way over to the apartment building. I texted Polly when I got into the elevator to see if she was here yet but learned she was running late. Her husband was out of town and her sitter had gotten out of volleyball practice late. She swore she was coming and sent me several stars so I knew she meant it but suggested I go in without her.
I groaned, not looking forward to facing the onslaught alone, but I knew I couldn't just ride the elevator all night. When it got to the floor the party was on, I got off. I found the apartment and then took a deep breather before knocking on the door. Though I was nervous, I had to admit part of me was looking forward to seeing some of the others, to seeing how they'd changed and what they looked like now.
The door opened and I quickly recognized Belia Jenkins, holding a glass of wine. Even though I hadn't seen her since middle school, I'd recognize those curls anywhere. She smiled at me, wearing a nice beige sweater and dress slacks. I could see it took her a moment to recognize me but when she did, her smiled widened even more, "Kiri...Lench, is that you?"
"Lenk," I corrected, "It's like link but with an e,"
She shook her head, "It is you!"
"Yes," I said smiling back at her.
"Well, come on in!" she said, beckoning me with her free hand. I walked in and was immediately overwhelmed with a pleasant scent. It smelled like some sort of fruit with a hint of cinnamon. I took in a large open living room. The walls were painted in a passionate red with various art and photos adorning each wall.
A roaring fire was burning in the fireplace and I could see at least a dozen people had already arrived. They were scattered about the room in various conversations. I swallowed, wondering if I shouldn't have just waited for Polly. I wasn't exactly a social person. Mind you, I had my moments when I was around people I trusted...but there were only a few people I truly trusted.
Belia shut the door and I continued to wear my smile plastered on my face. She took a sip of her wine and then pointed off somewhere behind me, "We're collecting coats on the kitchen table. You can just pile yours on top."
"Thank you," I said looking to see that the living room extended into a kitchen. I removed my coat and remembered my wine. I folded my coat over my arm and then lifted the bag, "I hope you don't mind. I brought a little something."
"Ah, you didn't have to," said Belia.
"It's no trouble at all really," I said, "It's just a bottle of wine,"
She smiled, looking down at the bag as I lifted the bottle out some. "We have a table for that as well, over there." She turned and pointed to a table in the middle of the room. There was indeed a lot of wine and other various alcohols. Some people might be upset to have brought the same thing as everyone else but in my case I was glad. It was normal, expected, and accepted. I liked being normal. I liked the expected and accepted.
Another woman with even more curls then Belia approached us. She stepped up to her and kissed her before placing her hand around her waist. She was wearing a nice blue dress and had a soda in her hand.
"Kiri, this is my wife, Jasmin,"
"Oh hello," I said shaking her hand, "I'm sorry, but you have more curls then Belia! I didn't think that was possible!"
Both women laughed, "Yes...oddly enough we met at a salon," said Belia.
"And it's a good thing we did. Can you believe she was actually considering straitening her hair?" said Jasmin, "Thankfully, I talked her out of it. Nothing damages your hair faster...well other than bleaching."
"Are you a hairstylist?" I asked.
"No, my sister is," said Jazmin, "She's the only one I let touch my hair."
"Very cool,"
"What do you do?" asked Belia.
Ahh, the dreaded what do you do question…I'd walked myself into it. My job wasn't anything special. I was a manager at a small cafe. Really, any college student could do what I did but I enjoyed it. Looking at the size and design of apartment and knowing the district I was in, they probably did some high end job. Something that paid very well. "I manage a cafe." I finally answered.
"Nice," said Belia.
"Which one?" asked Jazmin.
"Greta's" I said.
"The one on Turnip Lane or Chester Street,"
"Turnip," I said, surprised she knew both locations.
"Ooh, that's the good one," said Jazmin, a little excited "I love their cupcakes."
"We get those shipped in," I admitted. "From DeTellies Bakery,"
"Haha," said Jazmin, "I knew it… I love DeTellies. I thought they were."
I was surprised she could tell. To me a cupcake was a cupcake. "You have a pretty good sense of taste," I said.
"Thank you," she beamed back at me.
"Oh please," said Belia, waving her hand in the area, "It's her job to know food. She's a food critic."
"Really!" I said.
"I prefer food journalist," said Jazmin.
"Oh wow. So you know a lot of places,"
"I like to think I've been everywhere but new places are always popping up,"
"Do you know any good spaghetti places?"
"Yes, Ciao Marea on 17th and Richards."
"Very cool," I said making note of it. Then I turned to Belia, curious about what she did. "What do you do?"
She and Jazmin smiled at each other before Belia answered, "Right now, waiting,"
"We're going to have a baby," said Jazmin, rubbing Belia's stomach.
"Oh congrats! How far along are you?"
"A few months," said Belia. "I know it doesn't look it. I'm a personal trainer on the side but plan to become a full time mom."
"What about you? Do you have any kids?" asked Jazmin
"Not yet, but Polly does,"
"Oh, is she coming?" asked Belia.
"Yes, she's on her way."
"Great!" said Belia. "Maybe I can pick her brain on a few things."
The door bell rang and Belia quickly excused herself. Another woman stepped up and asked Jazmin for a good seafood restaurant. I realized she must get asked about food places all the time. I smiled, remembering the recommendation she gave me and quickly texted to Derek so I wouldn't forget.
A second later Derek texted me a question mark. I sent him a smiley face and texted 'later'. He quickly sent back a smiley face and a heart. I chuckled and finally put my phone away before finally dropping my coat off in the kitchen. I piled it on top of several others before putting the bottle of wine on the table. I placed the empty bag underneath it with a few others that were already there.
Then I took a deep breath and looked around the room to see if I recognized anyone else. There was a young man off to my left who looked like Tyler Fin and another woman by the fire place who might have been Yazica Griz. I always thought she had a cool name but didn't know her all that well. I saw a few other faces and their spouses but no one I really knew well enough to approach.
Soon enough I noticed almost all of them were drinking wine. I decided to grab a glass myself. I looked around the table and found a corkscrew. I uncorked the bottle I'd brought easily enough and as I poured myself a glass of wine, a woman stepped up. She poured herself a glass of something red and smiled at me. "Hello,"
"Hello," I said. I looked at her more closely, trying to recognize her, but I didn't have a clue who she was. "Sorry," I said, "Do we know each other?"
"No, I don't think so," she said. "You might have known my little sister, Trin Brackner."
Trin... Trin Brackner... I thought I remembered her. "Oh yes, I think so… small, blonde hair?"
"Always in pig tails," the woman added with a chuckle, "Yes, that's my little sister. I'm Alison. I was three grades higher than you all."
"Oh, okay," I said offering out my hand, "Well, it's nice to meet you, Alison. I'm Kiri Lenk."
She was reached out for my hand and paused when she heard my name. Her smile shifted a bit but then she finished taking my hand and shook it. I found it a bit strange but we both kept smiling at one another.
When we let go of each other's hands she said, "Well, it was nice meeting you,"
"You too," I said. She turned and walked off. I took a sip of my wine. It wasn't grape juice but it wasn't that bad. After another sip it was actually pretty good. I took out my phone and took a picture of the bottle, wanting to remember the name so I could get it again. As I was checking to make sure the picture wasn't blurry, someone lightly touched my shoulder. I turned around thinking it might be Polly but found it was Belia, "Yes?" I said.
"Are you okay?" she asked, looking a bit worried.
"Yes," I said confused, "Why wouldn't I be?"
"Well...I just saw you talking to...Alison."
"Oh, yes, we just met. Ah, she's Trin's big sister."
"Yes..." she said slowly, "You don't know who she's married to, do you?"
"Who is she married to?" I asked, wondering why it mattered.
Belia hesitantly looked at me and then shifted her gaze to the corner of the room. I looked to see the man I'd spoken to at the market about wine. I found it a bit funny he was here too. His long coat was off now. He was wearing a nice black turtle neck sweater and dress slacks. He was talking to a couple. As Alison joined them, I saw her kiss his cheek and then whisper something into his ear. He glanced in my direction for a second but then turned back to his conversation. I furrowed my brow now wondering just who-
"Roan...Attley." said Belia, answering my question.
Roan…. Attley… Roan Attley….Roan Attley...ROAN ATTLEY! It was a name I knew all too well. A name I had longed to forget or, if not, to never hear again. I stood frozen in time as it all came rushing back to me…
Being put down, being bullied day in day out, it does something to you. There's a saying. 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.' It's a nice saying… but it's not true. Broken bones mend...but words...words haunt us. They eat away at you, each one a wound that festers deep within you, echoing within, burning like poison…
I met Roan in grade school. He was older than all the kids in our class but smaller. He'd been very sick most of his life and had finally gotten well enough to start school. He was introduced to us very carefully. I remember his mother came to class before he did to explain his situation and what we were and weren't supposed to do around him.
When he finally joined the class I remember him being very small, thin and quiet. I had a lot happen to me that year. I don't recall much of it but I don't think I heard him say a single word beyond introducing himself to the class. Since he was so fragile I didn't pay him much attention beyond being careful around him.
The next year he'd grown some. He was taller and had put on some weight...well, a lot of weight. It was like he'd exploded over the summer. His hair was in a shaggy bowl cut and always in his face. The teacher put him behind me that year and that is when my troubles began.
At first it was subtle. I'd feel something touch my back or feel my hair move. I'd turn and he'd be sitting there like nothing had happened. Things went on like that for a few weeks and then I'd feel him poke me. He'd pull at my hair and spit things at me, pieces of paper, candy. I'd find it when I brushed out my hair or changed my clothes at night. I wasn't sure what to do. I'd never been bullied before. I tried to ignore it.
One day, he grasped onto my hair and I felt it pull. Before I could turn around and confront him, I head the snipping of scissors. I cried out when I realized he'd cut my hair. I finally told on him. He got pulled out into the hall but claimed he didn't do anything and that I had made it up. The teacher could clearly see I hadn't but because of his 'situation' he didn't get in trouble.
It only got worse after that. He'd kick the back of my chair when the teacher was out of the room. When we had to stand in lines he'd kick the back of my heels. He'd pinch me at lunch. By the middle of that year, when we went out to recess he'd follow me the entire time and just stare. If I played with anyone he'd take our toy away or pull my hair to get my attention. The other kids started to avoid hanging around me because he'd start push them or throw things at them. Sometimes he'd get scolded by the teachers and for a few days he'd leave me alone but he'd always start up again.
I quickly grew to dislike him. I told my teacher over and over again what he was doing but she simply sat me down and told me to ignore him, that he wasn't like all the other kids. He was still recovering from being sick and learning how to interact. It was up to me to set a good example. They suggested I get to know him, that I include him in our games.
I tried to do as the teacher asked. I'd play ball with him, or skip rope. He'd watch and sometimes play along but if he got upset or didn't want to play anymore he'd just stop and stare at me. I was grateful when the summer came.
The next year we weren't in the same class. I was over the moon with excitement but whenever I went outside he was there. I pretended Roan was invisible. Whenever he did something to me, I'd act like it didn't happen hoping he'd finally leave me alone. This only seemed to egg him on more though.
He'd purposely do things to get my attention, to get me to look right at him. That year he started talking to me. The stuff that came out of his mouth was horrible. He'd taunt and tease me, calling me all sorts of names. I'd try to run away and he'd chase me. No matter where I went on the playground he was always there. I don't know why he didn't like me, why he'd singled me out.
When I'd got out of school that year, he started waiting for me and began following me home at a distance. It was scary; I knew he didn't live by me. No one lived by me. I lived out by the train tracks and often had to walk home alone. I didn't mind it. I was used to it by then. I always found something to look at and in the warmer months there was a pretty field of wild flowers I enjoyed.
However, with him following me, I began to dread my walk home. At first...when I found him following me I'd take off running. I didn't want him to know where I lived. It wasn't hard to lose him. He was still recovering from being sick and gaining so much weight. After a few blocks he just couldn't keep up with me.
I'd be able to slow down then and catch my breath. But by the end of the school year he'd gotten faster. I'd hear him wheezing behind me and he managed to make it the whole way to my house. Sometimes I'd get scared he might follow me inside. I'd rush to my front door and then slam it shut behind me.
It would shake the whole house and wake my mother. My mother was very sick. When I was little there were some days when she just didn't get out of bed. She didn't like the light or loud sounds. She'd come out of her room and be upset with me. I didn't like upsetting her. I did my best to take care of her. My father had long since passed and she was all I had.
Thankfully the summer came and I didn't see him. When school started up again, we went to middle school. I hoped things might change now that we were in a new school. We only had a few classes together. When I saw him he was taller and he'd lost a lot of weight. His hair still covered his eyes and he mostly kept to himself. He read a lot of books and I thought perhaps he was done bullying me.
Yet after a few days, there he was, waiting for me after school. He smiled at me now like we were playing a game. I just broke into a run without a word. He was faster now and easily ran behind me nearly the whole way. When he got to the field by my house, he tackled me to the ground and pushed my face into the dirt. There was nothing I could do.
After a while he let me up and laughed at me. He took my backpack and emptied it out all around me. I just glared up at him and he smiled down at me as if to say he'd beat me, he'd won the race. But we weren't racing. I was just trying to get away from him.
He left me there. I simply cleaned up and went home. After that he chased me home everyday. Sometimes he'd run ahead of me or run circles around me, taunting me. He'd say such nasty things to me. I'd burst into tears and he'd just laugh. When we got to the field he'd take my bag and empty it.
Sometimes he'd take things like all my pencils and notebooks. One time he took my backpack altogether. I tried to get it back and we struggled. My clothes got torn and he pushed me into a mud puddle before taking off with my bag. I didn't chase him. I just went home.
When I came home muddy, with rips in my clothes and my backpack gone, my mom was upset. She thought I'd been fighting. She had a fit, wanting to know what had happened. She got so bad I almost had to call an ambulance. I lied and told her I was careless, that I just fell and I'd forgotten my backpack at school. It calmed her down and as I tucked her back into bed. She told me I had to be more careful, that we couldn't afford to replace it.
The next day I stormed up to Roan at school. I demanded he give me my things back. It was the first time we made real eye contact. The first time I saw how blue his eyes were...how cruel. He just laughed and flipped my hair, asking me what I was going to do if he didn't give it back to me.
He pushed me then and I snapped. I pushed him right back as hard as I could and he fell, hitting his head on a desk. It cut open and he started bleeding all over the floor. He burst into tears. Crying out, he said I'd attacked him for no reason. He got taken to the nurse and then the hospital. I got taken to the principal's office and was in big trouble. Worst of all, they called my mom. She had to come to the school and everything.
They told her I'd attacked another student. Roan's mom was there and yelled at everyone, most of all my mom. I tried to tell my mom and the principal that Roan had been bullying me for years and that he took my bag. Roan claimed he'd done nothing to me and my bag was found in my locker with everything in it.
They thought I was making it up, that I was liar. My mom couldn't take it. She was so upset with me, with the situation, that she collapsed in the hall. They called an ambulance and she had to spend a few days in the hospital. I had to stay with a neighbor. After that my mom had to be on oxygen. There was talk of sending me to a relative but I didn't want to go. I didn't want to leave her and, though she was mad at me, she didn't want me to go either.
Her doctor sat me down and said I had to be better. That I couldn't get into any more trouble or it would hurt my mom. I swore I wouldn't upset her anymore. When she came home I stayed with her, reading to her, taking care of her. I was suspended from school for two weeks because of Roan. I almost didn't want to go back but I had no other choice.
When I did the other kids looked at me strangely. Word had spread around that I was weird...and I had attacked Roan Attley. Everyone was being so nice to him, talking to him, giving him support. He'd gotten a haircut and his whole world seemed to have changed.
I felt so alone...so tired. When I went to go home Roan wasn't there. I was grateful but after a few blocks, he stepped out behind a building and blocked my path. He flashed me that sick grin of his and said he missed me. He started stretching, waiting for me to run, but I didn't.
I walked the whole way home. He walked behind me, kicking the back of my heels. He tried to get a reaction out of me and got upset when I didn't do anything. When we got to the field he grabbed my bag to take it and I pleaded with him. I begged him not to take it, that I couldn't upset my mother. He paused and looked at me then. I wondered if I'd gotten through to him but he smiled after a moment and ripped my bag away.
I got on my hands and knees and cried out, begging. He held it over me and said if I wanted it back, really, really wanted it back, that I had to do whatever he wanted. That I...I needed to kiss him. I looked up at him, confused. I'd never kissed a boy before but if that was what he wanted, if he'd give me back my bag, I'd do it. I got up and kissed him really quick on the cheek. He touched his cheek but dropped my bag on the ground. I ran home as fast as I could.
After that, things changed...Instead of pinching or pushing or kicking me, I'd have to give him kiss to leave me alone. It was the toll I paid to get to go home without any trouble. After a few months it got to be like nothing, like I was waving. It was just something I just did. I'd kiss him really quick on the cheek and run home. On the last day of school thought he wanted me to kiss him on the lips. I didn't want to. He grabbed my arm and said if I didn't do it he'd cause so much trouble that it might kill my mother.
I kissed him on the lips then. It was my first real kiss and he'd...he'd stolen it from me. The summer came and went my mother got a little better that year. She'd gotten in touch with her sister and they talked a lot. My aunt came down to visit and helped me pick out my first bra and showed me how to do my hair and a little bit of makeup. She even bought me some clothes for the new year.
When I went to school that year I was filled with hope. Roan looked different. He dressed better and had his hair slicked back. He seemed to have made a few friends. I saw them talking in the only class we shared and hanging out at lunch together. I'd hoped that would keep him busy and away from me.
However, when I went home, he was there. He took my bag first thing and insisted I had to hold his hand the whole way home from now on. I didn't want to hold his hand but he pulled my hair until I did. On the walk home he said I'd turned into a slut over the summer and I'd better not kiss anyone else or he'd be mad. He didn't like my makeup. He didn't like my clothes. And most of all he didn't like my hair. He told me I'd better fix it by tomorrow or there would be trouble.
I didn't want to fix it. I liked how I looked. I thought I looked pretty but he told me I looked ugly and stupid and it made him hate me even more. When we got to the field he wanted his kiss on the lips from now on. I was in tears by then from all his harsh words. I didn't move so he kissed me.
That night I cried myself to sleep but the next morning I did as he asked. I wore some of my old clothes and kept my hair in a pony tail. When I went to school, he was waiting outside with one of his friends to make sure I'd done what he asked. He looked at me and just laughed before he and his friends started throwing something at me. It took me a few minutes to realize it was dog shit…
I knew I couldn't go home like this. I rushed to school and tried to clean it all off but I smelled. After that other kids started to tease me. I thought...this was my life...that I was always going to be alone and Roan was just going to torture me until the end of time.
When we got to the field that day, I gave him his kiss but he wouldn't let me go home. He made me take my hair out of my ponytail. He played with it, running his fingers through it. I wanted to go home but he wouldn't let me. He made me sit with him and talk to him. He wanted me to hug him and just hold him. I didn't like how it felt. I told him my mom would worry and he got mad. He got really upset and kicked me but he let me go home.
I began to worry what else he might do to me. With him things seemed to only get worse and worse. I started feeling beyond helpless and most of all hopeless. But then, a month into school, she came. Polly… Polly Linn. From the moment she arrived she was different. She took a liking to me. I don't know why. She shared her perfume with me and talked to me about anything and everything. The other kids tried to warn her in those first few days. They told her I was weird, crazy. They told her about what I'd done to Roan.
I was sure she wouldn't like me after that but she didn't seem to care. It was like she was from another planet. I looked forward to getting to see her. She was the light in my dark tunnel of existence. It didn't take long for Roan to notice and get upset. He told me to stay away from her or he'd get real mad.
The next day at school I tried to avoid her but she kept coming up to me. When I didn't think anyone was looking, I tried to warn her that someone would hurt her if she stayed around me. She pulled back then and I thought she'd gotten the message and it was over. I thought what little joy of friendship I'd experienced was gone. But after school she wanted to come over. She wanted me to tell her my side of things with Roan.
I told her she couldn't come over. That Roan wouldn't allow such a thing. She took my hand and said I could go to her house instead. My heart nearly exploded in my chest. I called my mom and asked if I could go to a friend's house. She was happy for me and said I could.
I was so, so excited. When school got out we left through another exit and we walked home together. I told her everything. She didn't say anything but when I started to cry she hugged me. She said it must have been lonely. She became my best friend after that. There wasn't anything I wouldn't do for her.
We went to her house and her family was the best. Her mom was cheerful. She made us snacks and we watched TV in her room. They invited me to stay for dinner. I met her older brother, Derek. He was in high school. He played football and was so nice. When it was over their dad drove me home.
My mom was up and we talked. She was happy I'd made a friend. She told me she worried about me. I told her she didn't need to. I felt like things had changed that for the first time ever I wasn't alone. The next day I went to school. I didn't see Roan anywhere, not in school or at lunch. It was like he disappeared.
Polly asked to come to my house and I thought it would be safe. We walked home together but when we got to the field he was there holding a carton of eggs. He threatened Polly and I learned it wasn't the first time. He said he'd thought he told her to stay away from me.
Polly hadn't told me. She just told him to move out of our way. He pulled out some eggs and started throwing them at her. We soon learned they weren't just any eggs. They were rotten. The smell was like no other and he hit her in the face with a few of them. I tried to make him stop but he just pushed me to the ground and told me to wait my turn.
He kept throwing the eggs until they were gone. I cried out apologizing to Polly, Roan kicked me and told me to shut up, that there was nothing to apologize for. I thought Polly was going to cry. That she would be upset. And she was, but not with me.
She wiped the egg off her face and yelled at Roan. She called him a creep, a loser that needed to pick on people to make himself feel big. Roan got upset. He pushed her and she pushed him back. He stumbled back and tripped over my legs, falling to the ground. Polly laughed at him and reached out her hand to me.
I'd never seen anyone stand up to Roan. I took her hand and got up. I tried to help clean off the eggs. Roan was pissed. He grabbed an old board he found on the ground. He called Polly a bitch and swung it at her. It all happened so fast. I didn't think, didn't hesitate, I just moved between them. The old board had a rusty nail in it and it went into my arm.
I cried out and Roan dropped the board. He yelled at me, calling me stupid, but ran off as fast as he could. Polly quickly pulled the nail out and we went home. Thankfully, my mom wasn't there. We washed it off and put a bandage on it. Polly wanted to tell on Roan but I made her swear not to. I told her about my mom and his mom and how much trouble we'd get into, especially when he hadn't even been at school today. It would be our word against his.
Polly really wanted to tell, but promised she wouldn't. My mom came home and we all had dinner together. We did our homework together and then her dad came to get her. I went to bed early that night and didn't feel so well the next day. My arm hurt really bad so I didn't go to school. I stayed home and tried to get better.
When I returned to school Polly was waiting for me, she was worried about me. I told Polly I was okay, my arm just hurt. She insisted we go to the nurse. She said I could just say I fell on a nail. We went to the nurse and she treated it better. She also gave me a shot and told me to be more careful. When Polly and I were alone at lunch, she told me what had happened to Roan.
Apparently when I didn't come to school yesterday, he got upset with her and they got into a fight but Roan was the one who got in trouble. He got three days suspension. I couldn't believe it. I started to think Polly had super powers. For the next three days we hung out and every night we'd go to her house. When Roan's three days were up I worried about what he might do. Polly was worried too.
She told me she sort of broke her promise. She didn't tell her parents but she'd told her brother about Roan. He'd offered to walk us home after school every day and maybe even have a few words with Roan. I wasn't sure how that was going to go.
When Roan came back he glared at me. I knew he was upset. After school he was waiting for me but we weren't alone. Derek was with us. Polly pointed out Roan and he had a few words with him. Derek made it clear if Roan didn't leave us alone he'd have more than a few words. I could see Roan was upset but he backed off. Derek was my hero...I think I fell in love with him right then and there before I even knew what it was…
Every day he'd walk us home and then go to football practice. Sometimes if we were running late, we'd go to his practice and watch him. He was amazing. I'd never seen anyone run so fast and throw so far. He was always so nice to me. Sometimes he'd even buy Polly and me ice cream.
One day when we were walking home after his practice some other high school kids pulled up in a car. They tried to beat Derek up but he took them all out. He was amazing. We later learned that the boys had been told Derek was bullying Roan and one of his friends who had a brother in high school. The friends' older brother thought he and his friends were just taking out a bully. Derek explained the situation and set them straight. Roan and his friend got in trouble with the boys and some teachers who'd found out about the fight.
Roan left us alone after that for nearly two whole months. It was the longest time he'd ever stayed away. I thought maybe it was finally over. But then one day I got detention. One of my teachers, Mrs. Mizner, and I never got along. She scolded me for my math homework and I told her it was too hard that I couldn't follow her. She was insulted and had me go up in front of the class and do a problem. She made fun of me and made it clear it was not her that was a poor teacher but that I was a poor student. I told her it was a matter of opinion. She made me clean the classroom.
I told Polly she didn't have to wait for me. I told her I was okay to walk home alone by myself for one day. I figured he hadn't bugged me for two months so he might not know I was on my own today. Polly said she'd wait but I didn't want to make Derek late for practice.
I cleaned the classroom. Mrs. Mizner wanted everything done; the windows, the trash, the desks, the board, and the floor because it might help me sweep my attitude away. When I was finished sweeping the floor, I went to put the broom and dust pan away in the supply closet.
I saw a shadow fall across the shelves and turned to see him in the doorway. He got into the supply closet with me and shut the door. I went to scream but he covered my mouth. He pushed me down to the ground with him and I was scared. I backed into the corner and curled up, begging him not to hurt me.
He snarled at me, claiming I'd hurt him, that I was going to make it up to him. I apologized wanting him to go away but he didn't. He started hugging me and kissing me. I knew...I just knew something really bad was going to happen. When he tried to take off my shirt, something inside me just exploded and I fought back. I hit him, scratched him, and kicked out at him, yelling and screaming at the top of my lungs.
He got really upset. He tried to cover my mouth again and I bit him. He lost it and started hitting me. He grabbed things from the shelf and threw them at me, yelling and kicking me. He screamed about how much he hated me and wanted me to DIE.
He climbed on top of me and wrapped his hands around my neck. He started choking me. I thought he was going kill me. I struggled, scratching at his arms, but he was bigger than me. Stronger than me. Everything started to get hazy. My hands fell away. But then the door opened and we were both blinded by light. When my eyes could focus I saw the principal and Derek. Roan quickly let go of my neck and got off me, bursting into tears. He claimed I'd attacked him and that he was just defending himself but it was too late. They'd heard everything and there were bruises all over my neck.
When Derek came, Polly had told him I had detention. Derek had decided to wait and, when I didn't come out, he'd come looking for me. He ran into the principal and they got to chatting about football when they heard my screams.
The principal grabbed hold of Roan and dragged him out. Derek lifted me from the closet and rushed me to the nurse's office. I felt sick and listless...most of that day was a blur. I remember hearing when Roan's mother got to the school. I heard her screaming through the halls but I also heard my mother. I'd never heard her voice so loud when she learned what had happened. Polly had told the principal everything she knew. The truth had all come out.
When my mom came to see me she burst into tears. I had to go to the hospital to get checked out. In the end I needed a few stitches. She stayed by my side even though I knew it was one of her bad days. She held my hand and swore she'd never let Roan Attley hurt me again. I didn't go back to school for a full month after that. My mother considered pulling me out altogether but I missed Polly.
She would call me every day or come over. She told me everything that was going on at school. Word had gotten out at school about Roan and everyone finally knew the truth. He was expelled from school. Rumors said he was being home schooled or that he'd been sent to juvenile detention. Others said that he'd been put into a mental institution or that his sickness had returned and he'd died. We never really knew what happened. Honestly, I didn't care. It was over...finally over and I never ever had to see him again...until today.
I breathed in deeply, realizing I'd been holding my breath as it all came flooding back to me like yesterday. It took me a moment to realize Belia was calling my name. I found I'd just been standing there with a look of horror on my face. Belia worriedly asked, "Kiri...Kiri...are you okay?"
"Yes," I lied. "I just...I just...need to use your bathroom."
"It's down the hall," she said. I didn't even see where she pointed. I just drifted away from her. I don't recall how I found it or even how I managed not to drop my wine glass but somehow I made it. Once I was inside I splashed cold water on my face. It did wonders for my makeup but I didn't care.
I grasped hold of a drying towel and held it in my hand for the longest time. I found myself shaking like when I was a child. I told myself I was okay, that he couldn't hurt me, wouldn't hurt me again. I would not allow it. I was not that child anymore. I looked at myself, looked at the strong, beautiful woman staring back at me, and smiled confidently.
Then I tried to see if I could fix my makeup. After a few minutes I heard a sharp knock at the door. I wondered if someone needed to use the toilet but when I opened the door, it was Polly. She'd arrived a few minutes ago and Belia had told her I was acting strange and ran off to the bathroom. She hadn't needed any more details.
She pushed her way inside and shut the door behind her. "What's wrong?! What happened?!" She quickly ran her hands through my hair and her super powers made me feel a hundred percent better.
"He's here…" I said as calmly as I could.
"Who?" she asked, not having a clue.
"Roan," I whispered.
Her eyes lit up at the mention of his name and she breathed in deeply. "Okay...okay. What do you want to do...kick his ass? We can do that!"
"No," I laughed, knowing she'd go out there and be more than happy to start shit.
"Want me to call Derek? He can used his cast as a weapon,"
"Don't put it past him," I laughed again, "It's okay. I'm fine. Really, he hasn't even spoken to me." Well, that wasn't true. I'd asked him about wine but that was before I knew it was him. I squinted my eyes, wondering how...how could I not recognize Roan Ately? The terror of my childhood... True, it had been a long time. He was an adult now, his hair was different, he had glasses. But still...I should have recognized him at once. I felt sick when I remembered thinking he was handsome. It sent shivers down my spine.
"Kiri?" said Polly, realizing she'd lost me.
"Fine," I said, snapping out of my thoughts. I smiled at her. She looked at me, not buying it for a second. "I'm okay, really. Well, maybe I should go but you just got here," I said, "You shouldn't have to go."
"You shouldn't either. I bet I could get Belia to throw his ass out. She'd do it for me in a heartbeat."
"It's fine," I said, "I only wanted to pop in anyway just so you wouldn't be alone. I should really check on Derek," I knew he was okay but I also knew I couldn't stay here and I didn't want to make her feel bad. She shouldn't have to leave because I needed to.
"Let me just say hi real quick and then we can go," said Polly.
"No," I said, "It's fine. You knew them all way longer then me and you've been looking forward to this."
She sighed, "Alright, but keep your phone out and call me if you need me at all."
"Will do," I said.
We walked out of the bathroom to see a small line had formed. I apologized and then went to the kitchen. We grabbed my coat and Belia came over again, "You okay honey?"
"Fine, I should just get going. Derek broke his arm today and I want to make sure he's okay,"
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Wait, Derek? You don't mean Polly's older brother, Derek?"
"Yes," said Polly, "They are one and the same and it's all my doing!"
I had a feeling she was going to gloat until the end of time about setting us up. Belia wanted all the details and the two quickly got to chatting. I looked around real quick as I put my coat on, seeing if I could find him. When I spotted him, he had his arm around his wife. Their backs were turned to me. 'Good' I thought. I didn't want to have to see his face again. And knowing he was here meant he wasn't going to be out there when I left.
"Kiri," said Polly.
"Hmm?" I said looking at her and then Belia.
"Are you sure you're okay?" asked Polly.
"YES!" I said, "But you call me if you need me,"
"Sorry I couldn't stay longer," I said to Belia, "You have a lovely home,"
"Thank you…" she said and then she leaned into me. "Honestly, I know what happened between you two. I never would have invited him here but he's married to Alison and after Trin's passing, Alison wanted to be here for her and meet a lot of her old friends."
"I didn't know Trin had passed," I said.
"It was a few years ago, car accident," said Belia.
"I'm sorry," I said. It was strange knowing someone I'd grown up with had passed away. I looked to Polly and she seemed to be thinking the same thing as me.
"Well," I said, "I'll see you around,"
"Yes," said Belia, "Maybe one night we can all have dinner together."
"That would be nice," I said.
Polly walked me to the door and even made sure I got into the elevator. We hugged and then she said what she always said when we parted, "I love you, stay safe,"
"Always," I said, "I love you too,"
"Also be sure to smack Derek in the back of the head and tell him to be more careful,"
"Will do," I said as the doors shut and I was alone again with my thoughts. I sighed deeply trying to push them all away.
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