Leaving the city felt different with Corrie, better. With Dawson she never knew what she was getting herself into. She'd feel a mixture of emotions, mostly excitement and fear. Now there was just fear when she thought of Dawson and that nightmare. It had shaken something loose in her… uncovered some deep seeded emotions. She told herself it was just another nightmare. She'd had plenty in her lifetime but somehow this felt different.
Usually she'd forget most her nightmares upon waking and only the feeling would remain. However some of the truly horrific ones might stay with her for a few hours, or even a few days. She'd be cautious and upset then at some point a switch would flip and she'd no longer be bothered by it. Sometimes something that scared her might also later turn her on. It could be so weird. Maybe it was easy to change her stance because it was just a dream...fantasy or perhaps it was because she was so messed up. She knew there had to be some reason behind it she just didn't know.
More than anything she wanted to forget this latest nightmare. All that blood, the look in those ice blue eyes of his. She could still feel the blade slice across her throat. She...she knew what it felt like to die. It was crazy! She was alive! How could she know what death felt like when she had never died!
And yet in that moment, she knew she had died. She had died and some vibration, some long lost impression, still remained on her soul.
What the fuck? She died? Some long lost impression? What was she thinking! She wasn't making any sense. Was she losing her mind? Maybe it was all the drugs she'd been taking lately? Yet she didn't think so. She had these kind of nightmares before ever since she could remember. They'd just never been so...so vivid and connected. Could dreams be connected? She recalled so many details...things she'd forgotten, only to remember again. She'd made the realization that the shopkeeper, the village leader, the tyrant with the golden cock piece and her downfall, were all the same person… Dawson. It was more then just their eyes, their demeanors were similar and she'd get this feeling of familiarity.
What did it all mean? Could dreams have meaning? Maybe...maybe her subconscious was trying to tell her something but what? A tear escaped from her eyes and rolled down her cheek. She closed her eyes knowing she was overthinking this but she wanted to understand. She worried something bad was going to happen if...if she couldn't figure this out...but what was there to figure out? Corrie squeezed her hand pulling her from her thoughts.
"Hey, you okay?"
"Yeah, just happy to be getting away...from everything."
She let out a heavy sigh and decided to let it go for now. Hopefully in time thisfeeling and the nightmare would fade and be like any other. She realized she was crying again and wiped her eyes. She forced herself to smile and act like everything was okay. She didn't want him to regret inviting her. He must think she was having a mental break down or something...freaking out this much over a nightmare. She laughed at how silly she was being.
"Hey! Hey!" he said putting his arm around her again. He pulled her in close, "You're trembling. Are you cold?"
"No," she said. She hadn't realized she'd been trembling. She knew it wasn't from the cold but fear.
"You want to talk about it?"
"I don't want to bum you out, and make you regret asking me to come."
"I wont! I swear! Honest!" He said rubbing his hand up and down her arm.
She might have been a fool but she believed him. "I don't know where to being. It all feels like one big mess." She bit her tongue knowing she couldn't...shouldn't tell him everything.
"Well how about you start from the beginning, then we'll spend some time in the middle before we get to the end," he joked. She laughed.
"It's nothing really. Just-" She paused for a moment. She sucked on her lower lip then went on. "Have you ever had a nightmare that felt so…so real? Too real! That you just couldn't shake?"
He didn't respond for the longest time and she wondered if he'd heard her. He just stared forward with this troublesome look on his face. She wondered if there was something up ahead, but everything looked normal. After a good minute or so she nudged him in the side with her elbow. "Hey?" she said, "Don't tell me I lost you, already. You're the one who asked me to spill the beans."
"Yeah, sorry," he said, "I know what you mean, about a nightmare being too real."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," He moved his arm from around her, to wipe his mouth, then continued, "Sometimes I get this nightmare, where I'm in my old house, when it was on fire. I'm not a kid, but as I am now, in my full fire gear. I know what I'm doing and I go to save my mom but it's-" He trailed off.
"Too late." she said, finishing his sentence.
"Yeah," the look in his eyes was painful. "I never saw what happened. I only know the details from the report and pictures, but in the nightmare it all feels so real, like I'm really there. I know it's just a dream and it doesn't mean anything but yeah. It can be a lot."
She liked that he talked to her about this. It really showed he was opening up to her. Usually he had to be drunk to talk this much about his mother and what happened to her. She knew anything to do with his parents was hard for him. She grabbed hold of his hand and held it. For a while they just listened to music and watched the sun start to set.
Eventually he cleared his throat and asked "So what was your nightmare about?"
"Well it was kind of a sex dream that went way south." He raised his eyebrow but didn't say anything, waiting for her to continue. "It's silly really."
She felt stupid mentioning it now, espeically after he'd shared something so precious with her. His mother had been real, and it must have hurt a lot, to see her in pain in his nightmares. Her nightmare was nothing compared to his. It was just fantasy...at least she hoped. What did she mean she hoped? Of course it wasn't real! It couldn't be. She furrowed her brow feeling uneasy again.
"I don't think anything that affects you is silly, Gwyne. Come on, I shared mine, it's your turn."
"Okay, well, since I can remember I get these nightmares from time to time. Sometimes they can feel so real. There is usually this guy who keeps trying to rape or kill me, sometimes both, if I'm oh so lucky."
"Hmm, well maybe that's to do with lack of control."
"What?"
"I read somewhere that if you dream about falling, or being attacked that you feel like you have no control in your life. Maybe you just feel like things are out of control."
"Well yeah, but I know that already. I don't need a dream to tell me that."
"The dream is like a side affect of the issue your having. Because you feel like you have no control. You have nightmares of having no control. You have a cold you sneeze."
"Yeah I get you. Hmm, well great. Not really sure how I can fix this since lately everything feel like it's out of control and I'm not really sure what to do."
"Well, why don't you make a list of all the things you feel are out of your control. Then maybe we can come up with a plan for each of them and try to fix them, if not address them."
"Hmp." she said "I suppose that could work, maybe."
"It's worth a shot. Maybe it will at least ease your mind and help you sleep better. If not you just need to remind yourself it a dream. It's not real. No one is out to get you and even if they were, I know you. I know you can handle yourself."
"Right." she said.
He wouldn't be saying that if he knew even half the shit she'd been up to lately... the shit she let Dawson talk her into. He would definitely not be happy. Still she thought over what he said. A list could work and she was relatively safe... right now. She hadn't really thought about it, but at some point, Dawson was gonna realize she'd split...f he hadn't already. Hopefully he wouldn't come looking for her but even if he did, she wouldn't be home. Of course at some point she was going to have to go back and was going to have to deal with him...with all of it. She didn't think she could keep letting things go on like this.
He put his hand on the back of her head and ran his finger through her hair. "Feel any better?"
"I don't know. I just can't get all the blood out of my mind. It was kind of like watching a horror flick."
"Well maybe you shouldn't watch so many. Another thing I read is, you can't dream something unless you've see it. Your mind will taken images from what you know. So if you cut out all the horror and gore, maybe your mind wont have so much to build off of."
"Cut out horror movies. No way! Just let me wrap myself in bubble wrap." she said. "Also where are you getting all this? Toilet reading again?"
"Not always, the firehouse has a lot of books lying around. I think Micky was studying to be a psychologist. Or maybe it was Frank's book. Yeah no, it was Frank's book. He wants to help kids with trauma and nightmares. I just read what's lying around."
"On the toilet." Gwyne smiled.
"On the toilet."
"You know that is how you get hemorrhoids. You should read a book on that."
"I don't spend the entire time on the toilet."
"Right," she chuckled.
He shook his head then put his arm around her and gave her a squeeze. She laughed and had to admit she felt better. "Thanks, for reassuring me. It's just a dream. It can't hurt me. I'm safe. I'm with you."
"No problem." he said, "Anytime."
"So what's the plan?" she asked leaned into him.
"The plan," he said then sighed. "Well, we'll drive and then we'll drive some more, then maybe we'll get gas, at some point, so we can drive some more."
"And snacks."
"Of course,"
"So where is this place again?"
"It's near Redner, a remote cabin in the woods, on a lake. It'd gorgeous from what I hear. It's the kind of place you can lose yourself in. Plenty of fresh air and we can fish. Oh and there is all the beer we can drink."
"Sounds like paradise."
"Just might be." he chuckled. "Maybe we can do some hiking and running. There are suppose to be trails."
"Okay, you lost me," she said, "I thought this was a get away, to relax."
"Ha, we'll get plenty of that but I got to keep in shape. If you want you can sleep in."
"Can and will," she teased. She leaned forward and changed the station on the radio.
When she turned to look at him, he was looking back at her and there was that look in his eyes again. The one that said 'I love you.' He opened his mouth like he was going to say it, then looked back at the road. She snuggled up to him once more, feeling so confused. It was moments like these, where everything felt so light and good...so right, that she felt there was something more to this and that they could make it. They could go the distance! She closed her eyes knowing she was hopeless. Even if he wanted to try, she doubted he would suddenly fall in love with her.
A song came on they both knew and they started singing. She acted like everything was okay but pushed her heart down, way, way down, let it be ice, ice...nothing has changed! She couldn't let herself go again. She couldn't build everything back up, only to have it come crashing down once more.
She steeled herself in the music for a while then lost herself in the scenery. Everything around them got dark but she could see lights every now and then as they passed by small towns and cities. At one point she saw a lot of lights and perked up. One of the lights had to be a giant Ferris wheel. She thought she could also make out a roller coaster too and some other rides. She gasped realizing it was a theme park or some fair.
"What?" he said noticing something had caught her attention. He glanced over but didn't take his eyes off the road for long.
"I think I see a Ferris wheel and a roller coaster!"
"Yeah, maybe, I think I saw a sign for something a while back."
"I'm not sure if its a theme park or a fair." said Gwyne.
"I don't think I've heard of any theme parks around here. It's summer so it's probably a fair." Her eyes lit up and he chuckled. "Want to check it out?"
"Yes! Oh yes! Can we?"
He chuckled again at how excited she was getting. "I suppose we could stop and get some gas then get something to eat at the fair."
"Yes! FAIR FOOD!" She was practically vibrated with excitement. She felt like a kid in a candy store. It had been years since she'd been to a fair. "Oh I love fairs and being with you! This is so exciting!" He kept laughing and she knew she was probably getting a bit too excited but she couldn't help it. She was going to get two of her favorite things at the same time. It was like the time she'd had her first swirl cone, chocolate and vanilla all in one cone, it was amazing! She knew this was going to be too!
Corrie couldn't stop laughing. He was glad to see her smiling again and not one of those fake smiles, she put on when she was trying to pretend. He could see it in her eyes, that glow of excitement, the light of real joy. If he looked any longer they'd crash so he kept his eyes on the road and took the next exit. They stopped off at a gas station and he filled the tank, before they went inside and grabbed a few things. He took some cash out from the ATM, knowing the fair probably wouldn't take a card. Gwyne seemed to have a small wad of cash on her.
He raised an eyebrow as he asked "That the cash from your kitchen table?"
"Yep."
"You ever put it in a bank?"
"Some," she lied.
"Right," he said, catching her.
"Hey my mattress is just as good."
"Does it have armed guards?"
"It has you." she said with a sly smile.
He shook his head, and they shared a quick kiss, before getting in line. They paid for everything then got some directions from the gas station attendant. They hopped back into the truck, and it took some maneuvering, but he got them on the right road. After a few minutes, they pulled into the parking lot of the fairgrounds, and found it was packed. Someone had to guide them to a parking spot with flashlights.
When they got out, Gwyne grabbed his hand and practically dragged him up to the ticket booth. She was so excited she bounced in place as they waited in line. Not too long ago, she thought it was lame that Dawson had wanted to take her on a roller coaster, but it was different with Corrie. Everything was different with him. Maybe it was because she loved him. They paid the entrance fee, got a few tickets and walked inside.
They looked around for a little bit, before he pulled her into his arms. "So what first? Games, dinner or rides?"
"Hmm," said Gwyne embracing him. It didn't take her long to decide, "We should do rides first, because once we eat that will be a no go. We don't want to get sick."
"Fair enough," he said with a smirk.
"Fair." she laughed at his little pun, before she went on, "So rides, eating, then games, depending on what we run across."
"Alright, sounds like a plan to me." He said before giving her a kiss.
It went on for longer then either of them expected, and started to get a bit too steamy, for public. When they pulled apart, they grinned at each other like fools, then shot off into the night, and oh what a night it was. They had seen the lights from the highway, but up close, everything seemed to sparkle. It was wonderful! Gwyne was still a little sore, from everything with Dawson, and walking home, but quickly forgot about it as she rushed up to a house of mirrors.
They entered together, but eventually split up, and took their own paths. Gwyne was a pro, and easily found her way through the maze of mirrors. Corrie was usually pretty good with directions, but kept getting lost. Gwyne got to the stairs, to the next area, and waited a bit, before she backtracked, and found him wandering in a loop. She laughed then took his hand and began to guide him.
"Come on, it's not that hard." she teased. "They all have the same, if not similar layouts."
"They do not!" Corrie protested. "It's been a while, but I've been through a few of these, and they are rarely the same. I forgot how much I dislike them."
"Oh come on, they can be fun! You just need to know the trick. Try and feel what's in front of you. Feel where the air is coming from, and where it's not."
"What? Seriously!"
"Yeah, there is like a breeze, can't you feel it?" She said closing her eyes. She could feel a rush of air across her skin. It felt nice and she swore she could feel every twist and turn, the air took to get from the entrance to the exit. "You're telling me you can't feel that."
"I don't feel a thing, but your hand." said Corrie, squeezing her hand.. "How do you know you're not just feeling a fan?"
"The air is colder, like the air outside."
"Could be an air conditioner? Or a trick to throw us off?
"Just let me guide your through," she chuckled. She squeezed his hand, then guided him around the various mirrors. "You're always guiding me with your advice, let me guide you through this maze of mirrors."
"Hmm, I had a dream about a maze once, when I was little. I haven't thought about it in years."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, it was a strange dream, had it when I almost drowned."
"What? When was this?"
"When I was little."
"Yeah, but like what age?"
"Oh I don't know, six or seven, it was a long time ago, before everything."
"What happened? Like did you fall in some water or something?"
"I can't really remember. I was told I was with my cousins, messing around on a dock or something. They think I slipped or one of them did, and I tried to help, but fell in and disappeared under the water. It was deep and there were weeds. No one could find me and then they did. They said I was blue. All I really remember is having this wild dream about a maze. Everywhere, I looked there were bushes and I was worried but not scared. I was looking for something...no someone, I think. Hmm."
"Who knows, maybe you were looking for me,"Gwyne teased. She turned around, for a second, and kissed him.
"I didn't know you yet. I don't even think you were born." said Corrie.
For a second, he got lost in his thoughts as Gwyne pulled him along. Old images flickered through his mind. In the dream he hadn't been little. It was odd. He felt older, like he was now, and there was a woman in a white dress...like a wedding dress or something. It flowed out around her in the wind. She looked back at him and smiled. He reached out for her and she went around a corner. He didn't feel like she was running from him, more as she was guiding him back to where, he didn't know.
Gwyne suddenly let go of Corrie's hand, and he pulled from his thoughts. He watched her do a spin, before she gestured to some stairs, "TA DA!"
"Lucky guess."
"Right, just admit it, I'm better at puzzles then you."
"Depends on the puzzle," he said walking passed her.
He went up the stairs and she quickly followed behind him."I suppose. It also helps if you're focused. Usually I'm the space case, but you seemed somewhere else, just now."
"I'm right here," he sighed. "I've just been busy, got a lot on my mind."
"Well if you want we can rest."
"I said busy not tired."
They got to the second floor and they had all sorts of crazy mirrors that twisted and changed their reflection. They walked along a path lined on both sides with them. There were mirrors that made them really short, then tall, fat and thin. One mirror made their heads look huge and another made their bodies zigzag. They would approach a mirror look at it and laugh, then turn to look at the mirror on the other side. Sometimes they'd look at both to see how they affected each other. Jumping up and down also changed things.
It was simple, but fun none the less. Gwyne couldn't stop smiling at Corrie. It had been a while since they had done anything new together. There was another set of stairs at the end of the room. They went up to the third floor hand and hand. It was made up of two rooms. The first room was entirely made of mirrors, the walls, floor and ceiling. It look like there were hundreds, if not thousands of them. It was kind of cool to see so many dimensions. A reflection with in a reflection, spanning back an infinite amount.
The second room had cartoon characters all over the walls, and a sign that told them they had reached the top, and won the golden crown. There was a painting of a golden crown just above an entrance to a big slide that twisted all the way back down. Gwyne ran up to it excitedly.
"Oh, let's go down it!"
"I think this part is just for kids."
"No I'm sure anyone can use it! Come on!"
"Yeah no, I'll be taking the stairs." Corrie said gesturing to an exit sign with a door way. It had stairs that twisted all the way to the ground.
"Oh come on, where is your sense of adventure! Come with me!" Gwyne said, climbing into the slide, "Get behind me and we'll go down together. I'm sure couples do it all the time!"
"More like parents with their kids." he said, shoving his hands into his pockets.
"Fine." she sighed, crossing her arms, "Suit yourself but you're missing out."
Without another word, she took off going around and around. It was a blast sliding all the way down. It reminded her of simpler times. When she got to the bottom, she quickly got up and waited. She hoped Corrie would change his mind, and come down after her. Yet a few seconds later, he came around the side of the building, having used the stairs.
"Uh pooh, no fun," she said shaking her head.
"Well," Corrie shrugged, "I guess we'll just have to go again."
He offered out his arm, and she excitedly took it. "REALLY!"
"Yeah," he laughed at how childish she could get. "But you'll have to guide me through."
"With pleasure," she said.
They went back through faster this time. When they got to the top of the slide, she insisted he go first, but he would not.
"Ah no, a gentleman never goes first." Corrie said, gesturing for her to go before him.
"Oh, so I'm a lady?" said Gwyne crossing her arms. She wasn't budging. She wanted to make sure he went down this time.
"Yes, you are my lady," he said before doing a deep bow.
She laughed but wasn't swayed. The two stared at each other locked in a stalemate. Eventually three people were coming up behind them, wanting to go down. He gestured for her to get in. She sighed, but quickly entered the slide, and went down again. It was just as fun as the first time, if not more so.
When she got to the bottom, she quickly got up and turned around, expecting to see Corrie right behind her. However the three people that had been behind them came down. She crossed her arms unsure if he was going to come or not, but then he did. He acted like he didn't enjoy it but from the smile on his face, she could tell he did.
"You did it!" she cheered rushing up to him. She gave him a great big hug followed by a kiss.
"Yeah, yeah. It occurred to me I could check the safety, make sure it was stable and sturdy enough, for the parents and all."
"Right, safety first," she teased then gave him another kiss.
"Come on, let's go again," she said grabbing his hand. She took off ready to lead the way once more, but he wouldn't budge.
He pulled her back and said, "How about we do something else."
"I guess," she said, "How about bumper cars?"
"Bumper cars," he said rubbing his jaw. He thought for a moment, then smiled at her and said. "I suppose I could check their safety as well."
"Right," she said shaking her head.
They shared another kiss, then made their way to the bumper cars, a few rides over. They quickly got in line and it was a bit of a wait, but worth it. They each got their own car. Gwyne kept trying to hit Corrie, but he was just too good. Not only did he avoid her, several times, but he avoided everyone else as well. She wondered if he forgot the name of this ride, but as the time winded down, he got her really good.
From there, they got some cotton candy off a clown that was walking backwards and juggling. The cotton candy was very, fluffy and pink. She liked closing her eyes and biting it. She liked to imagine she was biting into a cloud. Even Corrie couldn't resist, pulling off some fluff and popping it into his mouth.
"Let's go on the Ferris wheel next," suggested Corrie. "That way we can get a full view of the fair and the night sky."
She didn't say anything, she just happily nodded, and he led the way. There was a line but not as bad as the bumper cars. When it was there turn, she noticed Corrie handed the operator some money, with their tickets and leaned in close for a second. She wondered what that was about.
Once they were on the ride and it was going she asked. "Do you know him?"
"Yeah," he said, "I think we worked together a few years back."
"Oh wow, small world," she said.
"Yep," he said with a big grin on his face.
She noticed he wasn't looking at her. They went around twice, before they stopped at the top. They could see everything from where they were. She saw a few other rides, she'd like to try. She also saw several food stands and games. She wanted to do it all! She beamed with excitement, then noticed they'd been at the top, for a quite a bit now. Usually they only stopped when someone was getting on or off.
"Isn't this thing suppose to rotate?" she joked, when more time passed.
"Just take a moment and enjoy what twenty bucks can buy you?" said Corrie.
"What." she said. He just grinned at her. She quickly realized what was going on. "You don't know the operator, do you!"
"No," he admitted. "I just wanted to surprise you, with a breathtaking view of the sky."
She looked out at the stars and the moons. They were breathtaking alright. All of it was so magnificent! She had no idea how fast things could change... from waking up absolutely terrified out of her mind, to being underneath the stars, with the person she loved most in this world. She couldn't help herself.
She turned to Corrie and said. "I love you." She quickly realized her mistake and said. "I'm sorry.
"It's okay. Feel how you feel," he said. "I...I have no right to decide how you can or can not feel."
She noticed he didn't say it back, but at least he hadn't gotten upset with her, like he usually did. Maybe things were changing ever so slightly. "Thank you."
"For the Ferris wheel?"
"For everything."
She snuggled up to him, and they watched the stars together. The view was truly perfect. There wasn't a cloud in the sky, and from this height, it was as if they were floating among them. Soon enough, the Ferris wheel rattled and they were moving again. They went round and round, at least a dozen or so times, and then and the ride was over.
They got off and as they walked hand and hand, she said, "Thank you again that was really sweet of you."
Corrie smiled and shrugged, "What can I say. What man doesn't want to give his girl, the moons and the stars."
"Well I appreciate it. It's been a long day and I enjoyed it very much."
"The nights not over yet! You're not tired, are you?" he teased, walking backwards so that he was facing her as they walked. "What do you say to a roller coaster?"
She bit her lip, suddenly thinking of Dawson. She quickly pushed him from her mind, and was a little surprised, Corrie wanted to go on one. "Wait! Aren't they death traps?"
"I think we can make an exception for this one," he said.
He gestured to a ride with his head and she realized it was a kiddie roller coaster, "Sure." she laughed, then added. "I think we can test it out and make sure it's safe...for the kids and all,"
"For the kids." he nodded.
They shared a quick kiss, then got in line. Gwyne was a little worried about what the ride operator might think, given their age, and the fact that they didn't have kids with them, but he didn't even look at them sideways. She soon noticed other couples some teens and a few other adults. She supposed a roller coaster, was a roller coaster, no matter its size. She expected it to go slow but was surprised at how fast it went, especially on the turns. Every time it went around a corner, she'd get a rush of adrenaline as it, whipped around. One time it even made her slide into Corrie.
Once again, it amazed her how life could be so different at times. She wondered how she could do such crazy shit with Dawson, and still have these light, loving, wholesome moments with Corrie. She supposed not everything was bad all the time just like it wasn't good. She realized it also depended a lot on the person you were with.
She always thought she could have fun with anyone. but more and more she was realizing, not everyone could make you feel the same. She thought of Corrie and the way he made her feel, then Dawson. Everything with him had become so twisted and fucked up. No, it had always been twisted and fucked up, but maybe she was realizing she didn't want to go that hard. Maybe just maybe, she wasn't as fucked up as she thought.
She furrowed her brow, thinking of Dawson, made her think of that nightmare. She closed her eyes as she was drawn right back into it. She could still recall the look in his eyes as the blade slid across her throat...and how it had felt. She grasped her neck, finding her hard to swallow. It felt like she was really there...like it was happening right now! There was so much blood! Thankfully the ride stopped moving, and she was brought back to reality. She realized the ride was over.
"You okay?" Corrie asked noticing she had her eyes closed "You get dizzy?"
"No just that nightmare again." She said, letting go of her neck.
"Ah," he put his arm around her, and gave her a side squeeze, before they got out.
"Sorry, I really am enjoying myself."
"It's okay. I am too. You hungry?"
"I could eat," said Gwyne.
"Alright, what do you feel like?"
"I don't know. I saw a few food stalls on the Ferris wheel, let's look around and see what they have."
"Okay."
They walked over to the food area, and went up to the various stalls. Everything smelled amazing! She read several menus but still couldn't decided. "Uh I still can't decide, everything just smells so good."
"Alright, well let's try a little bit of everything."
"Really?"
"Yeah why not. How often do we go to the fair."
Gwyne smiled, "Okay, but let's take turns paying. We'll treat each other."
They went around the food area once more, comparing what each stall had, then began ordering a little bit of everything. They got two trays worth of food, and sat down in a seating area, the fair had set up. It was covered, and they had a whole table to themselves. For over an hour, they talked, and tried a little bit of everything, ribs, curly fries, cheese curds, candy apple, funnel cake, turkey leg, season corn, burger, corn dog, mac and cheese, onion rings, taco, pizza, chicken skewers and BBQ wings.
It was a lot of food but they shared it. Gwyne had a few bites of everything, and whatever Corrie didn't finish off, they wrapped up to take back to the cabin. Gwyne had packed her corset, but was glad she wasn't wearing it. She ate so much she could feel her stomach expand. She had to undo her top button. Corrie was happy as a clam. He didn't worry about what he was eating. He was on vacation and considered today a cheat day.
Gwyne didn't think she could eat anything else, but when she saw someone with an ice cream cone, they got one to share. It was funny how even when you were stuffed, there was always room for dessert. She was sure they were going to get stomach aches, but Corrie surprised her, with some medication. He got it from a little first aid kit he wore on his belt. She thought it was cute. He was always so prepared. It was something she liked about him. Sometimes he could get a bit carried away, but everyone could use a bit of safety, every now and then. Danger was nice, thrilling even, but honestly, at the end of the day, safety couldn't be beat.
"What?" Corrie asked, noticing she was staring at him.
"Nothing," she said with a smile.
He brought an ice cold, bottle of water, from the ice cream vendor, and they shared it, taking their medication. The vendor also sold popcorn, at his stall, and offered them a free sample. She had a few pieces and it was really good. When Corrie saw how much she liked it, he insisted on getting her a bag, for later. She expected him to get a small bag, but he got the biggest one they had. The thing was like half her size, and she burst into laughter, thinking it was a bit ridiculous. She told him, he didn't need to get her that much, but he was just so happy to see her eating again. He admitted he was getting seriously worried about her. She didn't think things had gotten that bad, but could see how serious he was.
They embraced, with the massive bag of popcorn between them. She apologized for making him worry, and they just stared at each other for a long moment. Eventually they kissed, then walked around for a bit, to help their digestions. They looked at the games and she was a little surprised, she had any energy left, given how much walking she had done this morning. Her feet were admittedly getting sore, but she was having too much fun to stop now.
She insisted on paying for the games and they played a few. A lot of it looked easy but was surprisingly hard. She won a game or two, here or there. but only when she wasn't playing against Corrie. He was like a boss. He won every single game he played.
At one point, she spotted this massive stuffed animal, and joked about how huge it was. She wondered where on earth anyone would put it. Corrie seemed to take that as a challenge. He told her she'd figure it out, then insisted on winning it. They found out you couldn't win the prize right away. You had to play several games, and trade up prizes, plus do some special trick shot that Gwyne thought was impossible. She didn't think they should waste their money on it. Corrie said he'd stop playing as soon as he lost. She agreed to let him try, but told him it was okay if he didn't win it.
He watched a few others play then went for it. He won every single game. So much so that a crowd formed around them, They all wanted to see just what Corrie was doing. At first, the guy running the game was cocky, and egged Corrie on. The guy soon realized Corrie remained calm under pressure. They guy started to get upset, and insisted Corrie let someone else play, but he didn't stop, aiming for the big prize.
The closer Corrie got the madder the guy got. He was practically tearing his hair out, when Corrie made the trick shot, three times in a row. The guy finally gave Corrie the prize he wanted, and told him to get lost. After that, Gwyne noticed none of the other guys, running the games, would call out to them. It would seem word had got around fast that or they noticed Gwyne holding the massive prize. One guy literally went to lunch when they steppe up to his game.
Corrie laughed then joked "I must have won too many games."
"Must have," said Gwyne as she struggled to hold on to the massive stuffed animal. "I'm surprised at how soft this is and well made."
"Yeah," said Corrie, running a hand over it, "They must have gone all out, to draw people in. They probably made a small fortune off it."
"Yeah,"she said pressing her face up against it, "I can't believe you won this thing."
"It was nothing, you just got to know the trick to it. Like your house of mirrors. Once you know what you're doing, it's easy."
"Right," she said "You're just lucky,"
He shrugged then smiled and said, "Yeah I guess I am, to be with you."
"Oh," said Gwyne. She smiled at him and her cheeks started to grow hot as she blushed."You're just going for all the points tonight, aren't you,"
They shared several kisses then continued walking around. They soon noticed some coin pushers. There were about two dozen or more machines, set up in a rectangular shape. The game attendant was in the center, and there was a large canopy overhead, with hundreds of prizes hanging from it. They also had prizes on top of and inside the machines. They walked around, looking into the machines that didn't already have a player.
They noticed a nice looking multi-tool in one of them. She could tell Corrie was interested, because he went back to the machine three times, looking a little bit longer each time. She watched him no doubt estimate how many coins it would take to move it. He didn't seem to think it was worth it as he let out a heavy sigh, and eventually moved on. She bit her lip, then walked up to the machine. The multi-tool was in the very center, and looked like it wouldn't budge anytime soon, but she had to
give it a shot.
She got the game attendants attention, and exchanged some money for a cup of coins.
"See something you like?" Corrie asked.
"Yeah," she said, then handed him her stuffed animal. "Will you hold this so I can play."
"Sure," He said taking it from her.
She put a coin in the machine and he paused, realizing which one she was playing, "What are you going for? That one doesn't look like it will give anytime soon. You should try one where the coins are built up at the edge. There is one around the corner."
"I know what I want, or more as what you want," she said then put another coin in.
He realized then what she was up to, "Gwyne that thing has to weigh at least a pound or two. You know how many coins it would take to move that."
"Shh, I need to focus. Let me win it for you."
"Save your money."
"Oh just let me spend my twenty bucks." she hissed.
He sighed, but didn't say anything more, adjusting her stuffed animal and the massive bag of popcorn, in his arms. She put in a dozen or so coins, but like Corrie said it wouldn't budge. The coins just got pushed around it. She put her hand on the glass, longing for it to move with each coin. She was sure, it was moving ever so slightly. Suddenly she could see all the coins shaking. The wind started to pick up around them.
"Looks like it might storm, getting awfully windy." said Corrie, looking around.
She barely heard him she was so focused. She only had a few coins left. The wind picked up even more as she stared at the multi-tool, with such determination. She wanted it! Suddenly a massive gust of wind tore through the area. She watched as the machines rattled and every single coin and prize suddenly slid towards her. Not just on her machine but every machine! Every single tilting alarm on the machines went off as there was a massive crashing of coins and items. She and Corrie stumbled back, along with the other players.
The game attendant looked shaken, nearly having fallen over. Several prizes that had been hanging from the canopy and on top of the machines had been blown all over the place. He quickly recovered and called out. "NO MORE PLAYS! WE'RE OUT OF ORDER!"
"What about the people who were already playing!" One guy asked from a few machines over.
The woman who'd been playing he machine, next to Gwyne, protested, "You can't shut a game down, because someone wins a prize."
"The booth's...mal-malfunction. Act of nature!" The game attendant said, but it was clear he had no idea what was going on.
"Bullshit!" people cried, "Malfunctioning! Act of nature!"
People started shouting, and others were starting to stop, and wonder what was going on. She could tell Corrie was about to step in, but the game attendant raised his hands into the air, and shouted, "ALRIGHT! ANYONE WHO WAS PLAYING A GAME CAN COLLECT THEIR PRIZE! BUT THE GAME IS SHUT DOWN AS OF NOW!"
People got excited then. Gwyne reached down and got the multi-tool "See I won it for you."
"Yeah," he said looking around curiously. "Now who's lucky."
"Indeed." she said, taking back her stuffed animal. Corrie swung the popcorn over his shoulder then she handed him the multi-took and said, "You are pretty lucky,"
He chuckled then began checking it out. She could tell he liked it. She was so happy to win him something, even if it was under strange circumstances.
A guy who seemed to be in charge, ran up to the machines, and yelled at the game attendant, ""What the fuck happened here, Artie!"
"I don't know! I've never seen anything happen like this, in all my years, Sam! A big gust of wind came out of nowhere, messed everything up!"
"Alight! Alright! Let's get these alarms shut off, shut everything down, gather up what you can and we'll take a look. Maybe the ground is uneven and the wind shifted the machines," said Sam.
"Yeah right, these suckers are weighed down." said Artie, "I...I'm telling you it's almost unnatural."
"Come on," said Corrie. He put the multi-tool in his pocket then took up her hand, pulling Gwyne along.
She bit her lip feeling slightly uneasy. It was just a gust of wind. How much more natural could you get...right…right. Unless there was something more to it. She had wanted it really badly... but it wasn't like she could control the weather. She just got lucky, everyone that was playing did. Still she felt herself unsettled.
"You getting tired? You look a little sleepy."
"Just focused,"
"On?"
"What happened back there. Wasn't that weird?"
"I guess, but not really, I've seen all sorts of stuff, in my line of work."
"I bet," she said. "I just-never mind. It's probably late we should get going."
"Yeah, we still have a long ways to drive, "said Corrie. "You want me to carry your stuffed animal."
"You're already carrying everything else."
"Consider me a pack mule." he said trying to take it.
"I'm good really,"
"That's great," he said still snatching it away, "You can get the truck door. Keys are in my pocket."
"Alright," she said, "But you don't always have to carry everything, you know."
"I know," he said, "But I like to when I can."
She sighed then put her hand in his side pocket. She fished out his keys and they slowly walked back to the truck. Everything was just so nice, the weather wasn't too warm or cold, it was just perfect. She let out a heavier sigh, thinking this had been a really nice date, probably one of her best. She was a little sad that it was over. "You know, I think this was the funnest, if not best date I've ever had. I wished I knew you, when I was younger. I would have loved doing something like this."
"Yeah, no, I'm glad I didn't know you when you were younger that would have been weird."
"What, we would have made a cute couple."
"An illegal couple. You're what twenty-six and I'm like thirty-three, last I checked. If I knew you when you were like say sixteen, I'd be twenty three, and way too old for you."
"Oh," she said, "I didn't really think of that." Then she thought of how old Dawson would be...his late thirties? Maybe even early forties….when she as sixteen. She let out a long groan and shivered.
"What? That grossed out." Corrie chuckled.
"No." she said, "I just did the math on the married guy."
"Oh, he that much older then me?"
"Yeah."
"How much?" He asked curiously. They could probably be around the same age. If he had married young, he could have had several kids by now.
"It's not good," she frowned. "I- uhhh."
"What?" said Corrie even more curious.
"The other day, when I was with Tawnie, for my birthday, we sort of ran into him."
"Yeah, not shit what she think of him?" He was sure Tawnie would have something to say about this dude.
"Well they didn't meet. We sort of just saw him from afar, having dinner with this pregnant woman."
"Yeah, his wife?" Corrie assumed.
"That's what I thought too, but no."
"Then who was it?"
"His daughter."
Corrie stopped walking. "Wait? What!"
Whenever he pictured this guy, he pictured a forty year old, with a midlife crisis. Now he was thinking old...old."
"Yeah the daughter is like my age and it...it freaked me out a little."
"Wait? Is this guy like seventy?" he said furrowing his brow. He pictured the dude with a cane now. There was nothing wrong with that just surprising. Usually the older types weren't so… controlling. They were more self-assured and didn't need some twenty something following their every word.
"No no." she cried, stopping several feet away from him. "I don't know how old he is, but I thought he was younger, like our age and that his kids were little kids, you know toddlers...maybe eight or ten at the most"
"Yeah, well there's yet another reason to dump him." said Corrie. He started to walk again. They reached the tuck and she unlocked it. He put everything in and she got in. He made sure everything was still tied down in the back, then got in and started the truck. They buckled up as he turned on the heat and continued, "You want someone you can grow old with. One reason why we don't work is my life is always on the line. I don't want you to be alone."
"Yeah, so don't die,"
"No plans to...just likely."
"Not every firefighter dies. There are a lot that make it to old age."
"There are," he said. "But I wont take that risk. You know that."
"So I'll wait."
"What?
"I'll wait until you're so old, you can't do it anymore, then we can be together."
"Gwyne I'll be a firefighter until the day I die."
"Let's see you say that at ninety."
"You'd wait for me to be ninety?
"I'd wait forever, if there was a chance."
He scoffed. "This conversation went off the rails."
She let out a sigh, "Yeah they tend to do that these days."
She looked out the passenger side window, and he pulled out of the parking lot. They rode in silence for a while. She replayed the conversation they'd just had in her head, and picked up on something. "Wait! Another reason to dump this guy? What are the other reasons?"
"Right, so what 'other' reasons, are there." Corrie said sarcastically, like it was obvious. "Well one he's married. He should be working on that relationship, or ending it, instead of shopping around. Two, he has kids and family should always come first. Either he needs to fix what he already has, or break things off. Its not good for kids to see their parents stepping out on each other. Three, he's super controlling."
"How would you know?" she interrupted. "You haven't even met him." Of course, Corrie was right, but she wasn't going to tell him that.
"He's trying to change you, Gwyne! Just in the last few months, you're using all these creams and soaps, you never cared about any of that stuff before. You've been eating weird shit, if you even eat at all. Your wearing a corset twenty four seven and your hair. Oh yeah and he fucking burned you!"
"It was an accident and hey I thought you liked the curves my corset makes and you said my hair was cute."
"I don't give a shit if it was an accident! What about that bite on your shoulder and don't think I haven't noticed the cut on your lip and other bruises." She bit her lip. She thought she'd done a good job of covering things up, but apparently not. He went on, "I know we've talked about this before. I know you like it rough, but there is such a thing as too rough. It's boarding on abuse!"
The hairs on the back of her neck stood up. She shook her head, but knew he was right. No. It was no longer boarding on abuse. Things had sort of exploded some time ago, and were out of control...more so then ever. There were times, when she was truly afraid of him, and what he might do to her. There had been times when she'd wanted to stop, but he wouldn't let her. He'd hurt her but she still went back to him. She still made that choice, time and time again, because she was fucked up. Still after the nightmare she had, she knew how this could end and it terrified her. She closed her eyes and got really quiet. She didn't know what she was gonna do.
Corrie noticed her shutting down. He hit the steering wheel and knew he needed to back off and tone things down. He needed to be patient, if he was gonna get through to her and help her make a serious change. A long moment of silence passed between them, then he quietly started up again.
"I do think your hair is cute, but it doesn't matter what I, or anyone else thinks, Gwyne. It only matters what you think. Do you really want to be doing all this shit for some guy?"
She sat there for a long moment unsure of what to say. She hadn't planned on doing any of it, but then he'd paid her and it wasn't so bad. Corrie sounded angry, maybe even a little bitter. For a moment she wondered if...if maybe he was jealous. He didn't have anything to be jealous about, but she hadn't been with anyone this much in a while. Come to think of it, the last time she hooked up with another guy for a few weeks, he'd also had something to say about it.
"Do you think...maybe you're a little jealous?"
"No I'm worried." he said.
"You don't have to worry. I doubt we'll stay together that much longer...he's not you."
"Not everyone can be so lucky." He joked. Then go serious again, "I know it's none of my business who you are with, but I want you to be with someone who likes you for you, and is most of all single."
"I might be able to swing the single thing, but I doubt anyone is gonna want to stay with me long term, especially with my body count." she said staring out the window.
"Body count?" said Corrie confused. "What are you out here murdering people?"
"No, I just I heard it somewhere. Like the amount of people you've been with. You know I've been with a lot of people."
"Yeah so?"
"Well... not everyone is as open minded as you. It might be okay, for like, a one night stand, or messing around, but anyone who wants to get serious and really commit, is gonna want something less… used."
Corrie narrowed his eyes, listening to her. He was even more confused, "What are you a car now?"
"No, I'm just uhhh." she let out a groan of frustration. She didn't like talking to him about this. "I don't know what I'm saying. Fuck, people...people just think of me as a good time Corrie that's it. Because that's all I really have to offer."
"Oh not this again!" said Corrie. It was his turn to groan. "You really like your ego stroked, don't you." He teased. "I swear we've had this conversation dozens of times over the years. You have so much more to offer then just sex." He paused after he said that. He knew soon enough they wouldn't be talking anymore. He wouldn't be able to rally her. If he was on his way out, he needed to start being honest. "Alright, fuck, honestly Gwyne. Maybe you think sex is all you have to offer, because it's all you offer."
"What?" said Gwyne.
Corrie sighed. "You need to start making things... harder. Don't just get with anyone. Really, get to know them and don't let anyone use your past against you. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter how many you've been with, even if it's a few dozen, someone who truly loves you, wont care about that shit!"
"I don't know. A few dozen doesn't sound so bad. Try a few hundred."
"Fuck Gwyne! Are you even listening to me? It doesn't matter how many." he said getting agitated. He held the steering wheel tighter, "Your 'body count' whatever the fuck you call it! Doesn't fucking matter! No one even needs to know! You don't have to tell them shit! What I'm trying to say here, is stop letting dead beat losers, into your life. Don't let them shame you or push you around. No one can make you do anything, you don't want to. You don't have to sleep with anyone, who isn't willng to put in the effort, to get to know you, and truly care about you. Make them work for it. Make them work for you."
"Right," she scoffed pulling away from the window. "Most guys wont even waste their time."
"Then kick um to the curb! If they don't want to bother getting to know you, then don't bother with them. You can do that Gwyne, no matter how many guys you've been with, or what crazy shit you've done, you don't have to let anyone in your bed until you seriously love and trust them, and know they love you back. Work on your fucking self-esteem! You're not a used fucking car! You're a human being! Be fucking picky! Let them call you an ice queen! It doesn't matter! You keep going until you find the guy who is willing to go the distance."
"Yeah but most guys-"
"I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT MOST GUYS HERE!" shouted Corrie. Then he realized he was getting a bit high strung. He sighed then lowered his voice. "I'm talking about the right one."
"The right one." she repeated shaking her head. He made it sound so easy, but so far, out of all the men she'd ever been with, only one came close, "You're the right one."
"What? What's that?" said Corrie changing lanes. He passed a bus that was going slower then the flow of traffic.
As he got back into the lane, Gwyne leaned forward and said it again. "You're the right one, Corrie."
She turned to look at him. He could see it out of the corner of his eye, even thought the truck was dark. He swallowed his voice caught in his throat for a second. His chest swelled more then it should have, at her saying that. It made him feel- He gripped the steering wheel opening and closing his hands. It didn't matter how it made him feel. This wasn't about him, it was about Gwyne and what was best for her!
"No. I'm not! I'm really not Gwyne, but he or she is out there."
"How do you know on both accounts?"
"I don't. I just know you and I aren't right for each other. I figure someone else has to be out there that's better suited."
"Better suited," she chuckled.
"You know," he said wiping his mouth, "Honestly it doesn't matter, if there is or isn't someone out there for you. As long as at the end of the day, you care about yourself. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Love yourself and it doesn't matter if you end up with anyone
"I do love myself," she said "I'm totally obsessed."
"Right," he said, "You like how you look, but you don't love and respect yourself. If you did, then you wouldn't keep asking what you had to offer. You'd know that even if you had nothing, it would still be enough. Because you are enough, whether or not someone else cares about you. All that matters is you care about yourself." He sighed, "Just try and be happy Gwyne, with someone or not. Don't let other's control you and try to change you. Just live your life. Okay."
"Okay," she said.
"Lectures over," he said
Things got super quiet after that. He knew they needed to have this conversation, he just didn't expect to have it while he was driving. He was suppose to be focusing on himself, and his own issues right now, but he knew she was struggling and he couldn't help himself. Others always came first. Whatever he could do if he saw someone struggling he had to help.
Gwyne moved closer to him but felt strange. They'd had this conversation before but somehow it felt different this time Maybe it was because Corrie had said some new stuff. That last part almost felt like...like a goodbye. 'Just try and be happy, Gwyne, with someone of not. Don't let other's control you and try to change you. Just live your life' It sounded like a solid goodbye speech. She knew she was being silly they were going to spend several days maybe even a week together. They were going on a trip, this wasn't the end and yet she couldn't help but feel it was... the beginning of the end.
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