"Promise! Uh Brutal! I LOVE IT!"
"I wasn't thinking. I was mad." said Gwyne,
"You should be mad, pissed the fuck off. This guy is wasting your time. He needs to shit or get off the pot.!You had every right to tell him how it is!"
"No, I was being stupid. I shouldn't have even mentioned the job. I knew how he felt but I haven't gotten any callbacks and I kind of liked the idea of working together and always getting to see him and know he's okay. Lately he's only been coming around like once a month. I just, I just...fuck, I don't know what I was thinking" said Gwyne nursing her drink.
"Nah, nah" said Tawnie, shaking her head, "This makes even more sense now. Once a fucking month! Fuck that dude! That ain't nothing. Really, makes me think he's got something on the side."
"Trust me he doesn't. He barely has...had enough time to come see me."
"How do you know he's not bullshiting you? Fucking telling you he's all busy saving the world so you'll take the crumbs he gives you and think he is a saint. Honestly Gwyne, how much do you know about him and what he does when he's away?"
"I know, I asked."
"Hello, since when don't people lie."
"I know him, Tawnie" said Gwyne.
"Pffft know him," said Tawnie waving her hand about, "I doubt anybody really knows anyone. We're all just wearing masks in one big fucking party of life."
"That's fucking deep," said Gwyne before taking a long sip of her drink.
"I know I read it in a magazine somewhere or maybe a sign."
"Hmm," said Gwyne, "Well even then, even if he does got something else going on. It's not like I don't go out. Who am I to say shit?"
"Girl, you need to work on your self esteem. Who are you? Fuck? Who the fuck is anybody? Ain't nobody better then anybody else."
Tawnie took out two cigarettes and lit them. She kept one for herself and gave the other to Gwyne. She gladly took it needing a smoke right now. Both girls took puffs and let them out. Tawnie managed to make several shapes with hers. Gywne had only ever mastered the o. Again a hole...her whole life was a hole.
"Anyway," said Tawnie breaking the momentary silence, "Enough about him, let's move on and talk about mystery man what's er face.
"Dawson."
"Yeah him! You see him again?"
"Nope, been a no show, since we last we spoke."
"Pooh. What about him though? You liking him for something more?"
"No, it's just sex, really good, wild, crazy sex but that's all it's every gonna be. Guy is married and has kids."
"So, guys leave their wives all the time, shit."
"I'll fuck a married man but I ain't a homewrecker, especially when they have kids." said Gwyne. She took in a drag of her cigarette then let it out, leaning back in her chair.
"Shit, I swear the things you cherry pick. For me, I don't give a fuck. If I find me Mr. Right. I don't care what his status is."
"I thought you were never settling down?"
"Never say never and again he'd have to be Mr. Right."
"Yeah, well I'm beginning to think there is no Mr. Right, just Mr. Right Now."
"See Corrie's got you all jaded now. I remember you used to read those romance comic books and shit, dreaming of love."
"Romance comic's, you mean the smut comics I used to read?" said Gwyne with a laugh. It had been years since she thought of those. "I was reading them for the sex, to up my game."
"Yeah...yeah but they had all that, drama, lovely dovey crap as well. I remember, you asked me once, when you were drunk, if men like that exist."
"Well there you go, I was drunk,"
"Yeah but you meant it, you were all, soulmates and dreams and I wanta find the love of my life. Shit, for a second you got me thinking about it. I know they're, out there. We just got fuck until we find um."
"Right," said Gwyne taking a swig of her drink
"Right," said Tawnie. She jabbed Gwyne in the arm, "How's that saying go, you gotta kiss toads till you find one that's rich."
"Prince….like you gotta kiss a bunch of frogs till you find your prince, something like that but I'm not sure," said Gwyne with a laugh. "You are always calling out these random ass saying thinking I'll correct you but I don't even know half the time."
"Ehh, we don't need to know, just the jist of it. I believe my tall, handsome, rich prince charming is out there, somewhere just gotta keep looking and your short guy is somewhere out there too, you just gotta find one who still has a heart."
"Corrie has a heart, a really big heart," said Gwyne. "There isn't anything he wont do for others."
"Others yes but for you, dude wont even say you're his girl. Your relationship might as well be smoke, ain't nothing there."
"No, if it was smoke, he'd probably run toward it instead of away from it" said Gwyne and they both laughed.
"Well, I think it's run it's course, time you best be moving on!"
"You're just salty he out drank you."
"That's cause nobody out drinks me. He cheated, had to. I'd ask for a rematch but I know he's "complicated," said Tawnie with air quotes. "But nah. He's had his chance to romance, now you need to give this other guy a shot, the shit you've been doing sounds like fire."
"More like an out of control inferno," said Gwyne before finishing off her drink.
"Still there is promise there." Tawnie teased.
"Since when did you become the relationship guru. You know it's not easy to walk away from a three year relationship."
"Yeah it is," she said. "Especially when it's not a relationship. Just put one foot in front of the other."
"Says the girl who's longest relationship has been six months. Three years is a long time Tawnie."
"Ah ah excuse me" said Tawnie shaking her head, "You say that like it's been going on the whole time. You two have been off and on and as I recall even ghosted you one summer."
"He was fighting forest fires and got injured."
"Yeah yeah and he didn't call your ass, which lead to you two getting into a big ass fight for what two months. I'm just saying don't act like you been in a serious thing, add all your days up and you might get what barely four maybe five months."
"NO WAY! At least a year, well, most a year…Fuck." said Gwyne. She wasn't an expert at math but sometimes they only saw each other three of four times a month. One time it was every week, then there was the times they took short trips, went camping. "I hate math but the times in between should count."
"Well they don't! Half the relationship is being there and he ain't been with you but half the time sooo yeah."
"Uh, I thought we were moving on from him."
"We are! We are! I'll get us some more drinks, then maybe we can go dancing or something."
"Yeah, I'm going to pop off real quick," said Gwyne.
"Okay," said Tawnie with a sly smile knowing exactly what she meant.
After Gwyne had gotten off the phone with Tawnie she'd rushed to the bathroom. She'd cleaned up and done herself up quick, having no idea how much time she had. She touched up her make up, spritzed on some perfume and then looked for something slutty and eye catching. She wanted to get lost tonight. She knew what Dawson had said about randoms but fuck him, he wasn't around. He'd made a lot of promises about the things he was going to do to her but promises were just words. She'd have to get her "fix" somewhere else tonight.
She filled a purse with some essentials and waited in her apartment for a bit but got restless. After a while, she decided to wait outside. She went downstairs and stood next to her bike, wondering if she'd ever train with Corrie again. If he didn't come back, she'd have to figure things out on her own. He hadn't left the manuals so she'd have to get another set. She sighed and ran her hand over the bike missing Corrie.
Every time she looked at it, she thought of him and how much he'd cared for her, to do something like this. Now, it just felt empty...he didn't really care about her. He'd just done it to be nice. Maybe he would have done it for anyone. It was still something amazing and she was very grateful but now it just felt different...everything felt so different. Her heart twinged as she replayed their fight and for the thousands time. "I DON'T LOVE YOU GWYNE!" echoed through her.
She let out another sigh then noticed the front tire on her bike looked low...super low. She crouched down and ran her hand over it. She wondered if they'd run over a nail or something. After a few seconds, she realized the tire had been slashed. She saw the mark where a knife had cut into it. She furrowed her brow as she looked at it and then the back tire. She saw it had been cut up as well.
She paused wondering who would have done this? She knew Corrie, he'd never, ever do something like this, even if he was beyond pissed off, that just wasn't who he was. Maybe she'd taken someone's else parking spot? But no...no one ever parked here. Could it just be a random act of vandalism? Maybe every ones tires got slashed?
She stood up slowly and looked around. There was only one other car on the street right now. It was black with tinted windows. She stared at it for a moment and got this strong feeling like she was being watched. She continued to stare for a long moment but shook her head, thinking she was being paranoid.
Just cause it was parked there didn't mean it was watching her. Still there weren't any other cars on the street tonight, so it just felt eerie. Maybe all the other cars were in the repair shop. She'd have to get the tires repaired now. No she'd probably have to get new tires, she wondered how much that would cost and how you even changed the tire on a motorcycle. She guess she was going to have to learn at some point.
She looked around and only glanced at the car ever now and then again. She didn't want to be caught staring at it just in case someone was in there. She rubbed her arms wondering if she should grab a coat. She started to feel chilly. She turned back to look at her apartment but suddenly she heard loud music and a car pulled onto the street.
She watched as it rolled up in front of her and stopped. It was packed with a bunch of people, one of them being Tawnie. She didn't know half their names they were just partying and ended up dropping her off. Gwyne lit up when she saw her best friend. Once she crawled out of the car and they drove off the two ran up to each other and hugged for a long moment. Then they did their usual greeting. A weird hand shake before checking out each other's outfit and calling each other sluts and laughing. It might seem bizarre to most but it was their thing.
After a few minutes they walked down to the bus stop and took a bus to a bar a few stops away. They found a place to sit, got drinks and slowly caught up. Gwyne wanted Tawnie to go first. She told her about all the places she went with those brothers and their party bus. They had wanted to tour the world, go to concert and peddle drugs or some shit, she was a little vague on things. She talked more about the amazing places she got to see and even more about the kick ass bands. She also got herself into all sorts of different situations, streaking on sunset beaches and naked raves deep in the mountains.
At one point she got to fuck in a natural hot spring to an audience of no less then fourteen. The brothers had been shy at first but once she got their motors running they'd had a blast in more ways then one. Every night in the mountains had just been awesome and she debated staying in a place like that year round.
Gwyne and her had talked about doing a year as maids at a fancy hotel before and Tawnie suggested this might be the place to do it. She showed Gwyne all sorts of pictures, she took and it looked amazing. She wouldn't mind checking it out. It would be a nice place to get away for a while and clear her head especially if this really was it for Corrie and her.
After the mountains Tawnie and the brothers toured some more locations but things kind of turned south. They were at this one rock show The Terrible Trubles were playing and the band invited her back stage, like actual fucking band members of a popular well known band. The brothers wanted to come but they only wanted to party with ladies. They were all but hurt and told Tawnie to ditch the band and go with them.
She of course chose to go with The Terrible Trubles. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity and they ditched her. She hung out with the band for a few days and got a ride on their tour bus. She tried to do every member and the drugs were fucking AMAZING. She thought she was gonna travel with them for a while, like they got along and shit but she and a bunch of the other girls were left at this one rest stop unexpectedly. Like they threw their shit out on the curb and just drove off, no warning or nothing. It was a shit thing to do. She acted like it just sucked but Gwyne could tell she'd been hurt. Tawnie had a thing about being dumped, ever since the soccer team rumors.
She went on that she paired up with some of the girls and hitched a ride to some more raves and concerts. Some nights she'd stay up late under the stars and got to see all sorts of thing you never saw in the city. She also met some pretty weird and wonderful people in camps and got to go to this event in like a dessert that was almost two weeks. It was a non-stop party, music drugs and fucking. At one point it rained and everyone was naked trying to mud wrestle. It was fucking crazy everyone slipping all over the place. She'd never gotten so dirty. For a second Gwyne was reminded of that pig nightmare...there had been a mud puddle...only it wasn't filled with mud. She held her head and Tawnie asked if she was okay.
Gwyne said she was and told her to continue. Tawnie went on that everyone was wrestling and there were fireworks and everything was just so awesome. She thought Gwyne would have loved it. Tawnie partied well into the morning that night, however once the event ended things dried up and it was just a boring old dessert again.
Some people still remained and she chilled in their tents with them but it got to be too "cult like" for her. So she dropped them first chance she could get a ride. She'd checked her money and pill stash and decided it was time to come home. It took her a few weeks but she hitched back and that was pretty much it. Now, finished she wanted to know what Gwyne had been up to.
She gave Tawnie more details about what she did with Dawson. The garden they went to, having sex all over his place, some of the weird shit he gave her and how he wanted her whole life story. She mostly glossed over it knowing Tawnie just wanted the details about the sex club. She told her everything she could remember and sort of where it was located, she wasn't sure on the address but had a feeling Tawnie would go looking...membership or not.
They share another drink and she finally told Tawnie about her fight with Corrie. Mostly she downplayed it, said she was just asking about a job and he blew up and she snapped back. She didn't tell her about saying she loved him and him saying he didn't love her or that their relationship was a mistake and how she ran out of her place but ass naked. It was too sad...too pathetic to share.
She could tell as she listened to Tawnie's own adventures not all of it had been pleasant. She usually got into a lot of the details more but there were parts where her eyes sort of trailed off or she got a little mixed up with who or what she was doing. Gwyne had a feeling more shit went on...she supposed she had her own secrets to keep just as Gwyne did. It would seem they didn't tell each other everything after all.
Tawnie also kept looking out of it as Gwyne had told her story. She thought it might be time for her to cool it on the drugs for a bit, her eyes looked super glossy and more foggy then usual. Gwyne mentioned it but Tawnie swore she wasn't on anything hard right now...if anything she was in withdraw.
Gwyne wasn't sure if she believed her but didn't push it they just moved on talking about Corrie and Dawson. She watched Tawnie now, stepping up to the bar to get them more drinks. She worried about her and made a note to keep an eye on her for a while. Then Gwyne made eyes with this hot guy at the bar who'd been eyeing her since she and Tawnie walked in. She knew from a single glance he was more then interested and no doubt game to fuck. She subtly got up from her seat and made her way to the back of the bar. As she did so, she brushed her hand over the man's shoulder.
She moved on without a word going to the back hallway, where the payphones and bathrooms were. She knew this place had a reputation for all sorts of shit happening back here. It was one of the reasons they came, to smoke, drink and get a quickie. She lit a cigarette and would give him until it was done to walk back here. If he came, she'd do him, if not she'd move on and find someone else. She took a few quick puffs and made some oh's.
She didn't get in a minute before he was back there. She smiled and asked, "You got a condom."
"Yeah." he said. He sounded surprised.
Up close he looked a little green...way too excited for this but he'd have to do for a start. She checked the men's room then went in. She put her cigarette out in the sink then set her purse down on the counter. She turned her back to the counter and faced him before lifting up her skirt. She'd gone without underwear tonight, knowing she'd just lose them anyway. She watched his expression and smiled She liked to catch a mans first look at her pussy when she could. They always had an array of expressions.
This one lit up with excitement and just said "Damn."
"Put your happy hat on and I'll let you fuck me," she said with a wink.
"Really! Shit! Yeah this place is awesome," he said. Again his reactions, she wondered if he wasn't inexperienced. He scrambling to undo his belt. He got his pants down and his member out. It wasn't bad he scrambled to put the condom on but he'd clearly gotten one that was too big, he kept fumbling with it. When he finally did managed to get it on, he looked super excited and then his face dropped as he seemed to realize something. "Uhh um?"
"What?" she said. "What is it?
"Uh...how much?" he asked awkwardly. "I don't have a lot on me."
She gave him a look, seriously. She rolled her eyes, "I'm not a pro, now either fuck me or I'm walking out."
"Fuck sorry," he said as she hopped up on the counter.
He came at her and continued to fumble. He tried to slide his member up and down the lips of her sex, which caused the condom to slide about and almost fall off. When he saw her clit ring he looked beyond shocked, "Oh wow is that a piercing!"
"Yeah," she said dully. She just wanted him to stick it in already.
"Man you are hot, like shit like this never happens to me. I just got here in the city tonight and were doing this."
She rolled her eyes again, from the looks he gave her at the bar, he'd seemed experienced in this sort of thing but clearly not. "Just do it, already" she said guiding him to her entrance.
Now that he had his target, he pushed it in and she let go, like a needle in her veins she was filled up again. However it soon became clear his inexperience was vast. He was sloppy with his thrusts, too eager and uncontrolled. He pulled out too far falling out, the condom fell off in her and he had to pull it out and put it on.
With how excited he was getting she could tell he wasn't going to last long. She tired to just stay in the moment, lose herself in the fuck but it became clear, he wasn't doing it for her. At this point she just waited for him to finish it up. A guy came in after a few minutes and paused when he saw them fucking.
This was just what she needed right now. She gave him a false smiled when he just stared at them and snapped. "Either mind your own trucking business or get in line."
Usually she wasn't this brash but she was feeling a big moody tonight. The man seemed bewildered by her statement and quickly walked out. Oddly she found herself slightly disappointed she kind of hoped he'd be better action. Her guy, was so lost in his excitement, he didn't even notice someone else had come in nor the second guy that entered a few seconds later.
Sadly she noticed, right now she should be lost in the throws of euphoria but this just felt awkward, it happened from time to time. It couldn't be helped sometimes people would looked like a firework but were really just a candle. This second guy that came in was a real character.
He was all bundled up...it was cold out but not that fucking cold. He had on a black hoodie, with the hood up and sunglasses, the lower half if his face was also hidden by a scarf. He looked like a fucking bank robber with some blondish brown hairs sticking out. She wondered for a moment if they were going to get robbed as he strode into the bathroom. Yet he didn't even bother to look at them. He just went straight into a stall and shut the door. She guessed when you had to go, you had to go.
The guy fucking her was crying out, making noises as he kept sloppily slamming into her. "Fuck this is awesome! I can't believe this, Shit yeah, fuck" he just kept crying out. People in the hall had to hear his ass.
"Yeah, yeah," she said dully, still not feeling it, "Can you go harder?"
"Harder yah," he said. He pushed and pumped and for a moment she felt it, a nice deep hit, she was building...building and boom! He suddenly came, she could feel him stiffen and watched him cry out "Uhhh uhhh...shit…"
He pulled back immediately, again leaving the condom inside her. He was still popping off and fucking dripped out onto her thighs and the floor.
"Oops, sorry," he said sheepishly.
"It's fine," she sighed.
She grabbed some paper towels and cleaned her thighs off before pulling out the condom. She wrapped it in the paper towel and disposed of it in the trash. She also threw her wet cigarette from the sink away as well. She couldn't help but think she would have enjoyed it more then this. She got another paper towel, got it wet then cleaned herself off some more. She tried to hide her disappointment as she asked "How old are you?"
"Twenty one. This is my first bar, first night in the city too, just got off the bus this afternoon."
"Great," she said. He was super fucking green. She washed her hands then fixed her hair. She drug through her purse then took out some lip gloss. She put on a fresh layer as she said "Word of advice, get condoms that fit, work on your stamina and if a woman offers to let you fuck her, don't ask how much."
"Right….uh sorry. Can I uh get your number?" he asked still standing there with his dick dripping on the floor. She put her lip gloss back in her purse, grabbed it and then a paper towel for him. She handed it to him and finally responded, "Not a chance but welcome to the city."
With that she left the men's room and returned to Tawnie. She'd gotten back with the shots. Gwyne took hers one after the other three in total, then said. "Let's go this place blows."
"Fuck...that bad." said Tawnie
"Not great," said Gwyne "I'll pay."
Tawnie nodded and quickly finished off her shots as Gwyne paid their tab. The girls left the bar before the guy had even come out the bathroom. They hopped on the bus again and Tawnie started listing all the places they could go.
"We could go to Raiders?"
"Nah, that place is trash since the new management."
"True," said Tawnie.
"Regals? You haven't been back there in a while, have you?"
"No," she said, "Not for about a year, I think,"
"Let's go there then, we can dance then see if they've listed any house parties on the wall. We could crash one and maybe score some free shit."
"Okay," said Gwyne, she was up for anything tonight, anything to dull her heartache.
They went to Regals and danced for about an hour, the music and lights were intense, and the floor was nearly packed. She had a few guys come up on her. She got finger banged by one. She made out with him but the place was to packed to have any real fun and when his girlfriend came back from the bathroom, she didn't look to happy. She nearly got slapped but kept dancing.
At one point she started to get overheated and then suddenly she felt a chill run down her spine. She got that weird feeling again like someone was watching her. She was used to being watched but this felt more ominous, like she was being hunted or some shit. It was a ridiculous thought. She cooled it with the drinks, realized she might have had a bit too much, too fast.
They took a breather and smoked some cigarettes outside. Then Tawnie found some listings for house parties on their massive wall. One said free booze, drugs and live fights. Some guys were going and talked about how crazy shit could get, having been to one before.
Tawnie thought it sounded fun and went up to them. She "somehow" convinced the guys to give them a ride. When they pulled up at the house it was packed, most the people were in the backyard. There was mention of a pool and Gwyne was up for swimming but soon found the pool was empty. It had been spray painted and there were skaters using it while they were setting up for fights. There were speakers all around the yard and it blasted crazy loud music making the speakers vibrate.
They had a live band going and all the booze and drugs you could dream off. At first Tawnie and Gwyne chilled together. They lost the guys they'd came with and just went around looking at all the shit going on. They had people trying to do dances offs until the fights started in the pool. Everybody watched as it was no holds bar people would get into the pool and just go at it blood sprayed the cement and some of it looked seriously dangerous. Sometimes people on the edge of the pool would fall in or get pushed in joining in the fight.
One girl who'd been screaming shit got shoved in and just wrecked before someone dragged her ass out. Every so often they'd take breaks between fights to hose the pool down or drag someone out. It was some real crazy and a lot of money was changing hands. It wasn't the first time Tawnie and her had seen some fights like this.
Back in the day they'd been to a lot of college parties or random road side bars where shit had gone down all the time. Still it had been a while, Gwyne had forgotten how crazy shit could get. When she was younger it was shocking and cool, older now she knew shit could go wrong so fast. She wondered if she was getting to old for shit like this or maybe it was just her overall mood tonight.
Tawnie started talking up this guy who was in the live band at the party. He was the guitarist or drummer, Gwyne didn't know or care enough. Tawnie mentioned all the bands she'd been to recently and even that she'd fucked most of The Terrible Trubles. The guy was super psyched and they started making out. After a bit he wanted to take Tawnie back to his place.
Tawnie asked if she needed a lift or still wanted to do stuff but Gwyne told her to go. She said she was tried probably just gonna finish her drink then head home in a half hour or so but it was a lie. She wasn't going home tonight. Tawnie didn't pick up on it, said she'd call later and left.
Gwyne continued to lounge around the party, looking for someone special to go home with tonight. She didn't want another dud. It took her a bit but she found a big boy, bigger then she should have. He was one of the fighters, aggressive as fuck. He'd head butted a guy and another guy had pulled down his pants. When she saw what he was packing, she knew he was the one she was looking for.
She found him after he'd climbed out of the pool. He was having a drink with his friend. She maybe said ten words to him before sirens could be heard. Someone had finally called the police about the party and everyone was running. She stuck close to the guy and his friend and got into their car.
They drove her around and wanted to keep partying. She was up for that up for anything. She made it clear she'd fuck um both. They drove her out to some cliff spot that overlooked parts of the city. They parked the car and left the headlights on. They opened the doors and blasted the music outside the car. She drank and smoked some shit they had, she didn't know what it was but it was good. It soon got her dancing on top of the car as they shot off fireworks. She was reminded of her younger years. Going on long drives with a few guys, seeing where the night took them.
After a few songs, she took her clothes off wanting to get down to business. She got onto her knees and started to blow the friend. The big boy came up from behind her. He used a condom but was so aggressive the fucker popped. She'd didn't fucking care at this point and laughed it off. It wasn't like she was "with" anyone. She always liked raw dogging anyway and loved the feel of every inch of him, jut up inside her hard. She paused for a moment just taking it in. The friend got a little fought with her mouth but again she didn't cae. She let them bothgo at it and they spit roasted her good. At one point they lifted her off her knees and had her in the air, like a sex tug of war.
The friend finished off easily enough, then the big boy and her went at it. She realized this guy was like twice her size. He lifted her way up of the ground and made her feel so fucking small. He gathered her up and put his arm around her neck as he squeezed the shit out her tits groping her. He ran his hands all over her and wasn't afraid to toss her ass around. At one point he bend her over the hood of the car and shook the hole fucking car as he smashed into her. She liked how rough he was. How hard that big fat dick hit.
Her eyes rolled into the back of her head as she came so fucking hard. She cried out screaming and squealing it was just so fucking good. Now this...this was what she was looking for. His friend waited for them off to the side and when the big boy finally came he let out a roar that echoed out into the night. His friend wanted to get more drinks.
She barely managed to grabbing her shit and didn't bother to get dressed, getting back into the car. He wanted her again so quickly they made out in the car and he finally took notice of her hardware as he called it and admired it. He tugging at her nipple rings and she foolishly pointed out her clit ring. He grabbed it of course and tugged on it as well. She jerked forward cumming so hard she pissed herself a little. She was glad she had bit of experience handling a good rough tug thanks to Dawson.
His friend drove them to a liquor store and they waited as he got them more drinks. She kept making out with the big boy and he finger fucked her. His fingers were so big and fat. He hit deep shoving them in roughly and stirring her hole around. She just sat on his lap taking it with glee. He kept saying he wanted to fuck her brains out and she hoped he would. She wanted to be fucked into oblivion at this point.
His friend got back and handed them some beer bottles. She had a hard time getting hers open. It was shit beer but it was cold and she was overheating. She chugged it back some and the big boy cheered. She mentioned she was overheated and he took the end of his bottle poking it at her entrance. Before she knew it he'd slipped it in. She looked at him feeling the cold glass slide up in her but didn't protest.
Again her time with Dawson had "expanded" her mind. It also helped that she was drunk off her ass. Though...oddly enough this feeling felt familiar and she wondered if she'd had a beer bottle in her before. She got this vague flash of lying in the back of a pickup truck and some men laughing over her.
The big boy laughed pulling her from her thoughts. She realized she was moved her hips about jerking against the bottle. He thought it was funny but pulled the bottle out and opened it. He finished it in one big swig. Then they made out again. She accidentally spilled her beer on her chest but he didn't mind. He sucked it off her tits and she threw her head back. The friend glanced back at them every now and then but was quiet the entire time.
Eventually he dropped her and the big boy off in front of an apartment complex. Big boys place was on the second floor. When they got to the stairs, he surprised her lifting her up by the fucking crotch. He carried her up it his place and she squealed with delight. No one had never been lifted her up by her crotch alone, dude was strong.
His door wasn't even locked. She figured he was one dude no one wanted to mess with but when they got inside, she saw it was a literal trash heap. There was fucking garbage and shit everywhere and holes in the wall. He turned on some loud music then took some hard shit out lining it up. He offered but she declined she was already getting her drug of choice. Whatever he took got him going again.
He was like a fucking steam engine roaring down on her again. She felt like she was in an earth quake, he rocked her pussy so good. Her pussy protested and she pissed some more but she ignored it, relishing in the pain and pleasure. She came hard and it felt good real good...brutal. It quelled her heartache and for a moment Corrie and everything that had happened was a glorious an after thought. Nothing mattered right now but this big boy banging up her hole.
He lined up some more hard shit on her ass and took two lines. It wasn't the first time she'd have someone snort off her. One guy even did body shots off her. Whatever he was on had him explode, he had so much fucking energy. He got it up again quick. They started fucking again and everything else didn't fucking matter. Guy rammed her pussy so good and hard, she couldn't stop crying out. It fucking hurt but she kept cumming all over the place hard for what felt like a fucking hour. Eventually he smashing her face into his fucking carpet and exploded inside her. Her pussy was pounding, racing with her heartbeat.
She crawled out from under him and staggered to his bathroom. It was just as dirty if not more so. She relieved herself and her body was aching. It had been a while since she took on something this big repeatedly. She could tell her pussy had definitely been pushed beyond its limit tonight. It was what she'd been going for, right? She wanted to push it, herself. She was begging to get fucked up tonight.
She looked at herself in his dirty bathroom mirror, rubbing her tits. Even now she was still so hungry for cock..even as she was dripping with cum, she wanted more. She wildly air pumping her hips and a glob of cum fell on the floor. She laughed and then stop suddenly. She glared at herself knowing she was so fucking gross. Always pushing it when wasn't she…
She fucking pushed Corrie out of her life. She never should have mentioned that job...never should have given it a second thought. What was she thinking. She sniffled, still hearing his voice… mistake… mistake…this was a mistake, everything with her was a mistake. He wasn't coming back this time and who could blame him, right…right...right.
She didn't deserve him just look at her now. This was who she was a fucking mess. She was drunk, drugged out with some guy she didn't even know blowing her pussy out, raw dogging. She didn't give a fuck. She didn't want to care anymore, Corrie, Dawson, her... nothing fucking mattered. It was all just noise. Fucking, cock was the only thing that brought her any real joy.
She stumbled out of the bathroom and went back for more of this guys, heavy cock. She felt a little shaky, dizzy as she moved around, the music was so fucking loud. It felt like it was coming from her head. He was dancing about, boxing fucking punching holes in his walls. This guy wasn't getting his deposit back. She laughed at her sense of humor.
When he saw her, he ran up on her. He stopped just short of her and said he wanted to be a professional boxer or an assassin. He said he wanted to know what it was like to kill someone with his bare hands. She lit a cigarette as he talked about owning a boat. He was all over the place. She only half listened as she smoked and waited for him to get it up again. She just wanted him to wreck her some more.
When he was good to go again, they got really rough this time, he lifted her up like she was nothing. Again, she loved a strong man, loved how he tossed her about his place as he wanted, dragging her around his trash filled apartment, slamming her into shit, the couch, walls and counters. It was some good hard shit, she love it...loved to feel the hurt, the pain of her body mixing with intense pleasure. She came hard, so hard she just let go of everything riding her high
At one point she caught a glimpse of her reflection off some reflective shit, watched herself get thrown about like a doll. Her big boobs flopping all over the place, her fat ass getting slammed into. She didn't feel real, didn't feel alive. She just felt like a hallowed out shell. She didn't care.
She started crying off and on like some fucking psycho but dude didn't give a shit. He had her off her feet, fucking her up in the air. He bent her in all sorts of ways as he rough fucked her pussy good and hard. He just kept going like he'd never run out of steam, like there was no tomorrow. She almost hoped there wasn't. She just wanted to stay her like this forever encased in rough dirty sex.
After who knows how long, he blew his load. He let out a roar and several mighty grunts before he dropped her on the floor with the rest of his trash. He staggered about got himself a drink of something from the fridge and then collapsed on what she could only assume was a bed.
She laid on his dirty floor surrounded by garbage and curled up. She debated spending the night maybe even a few days but her pussy was fuck trembling. At this rate he really was going to break it. She knew she couldn't take another round with this guy. She hobbled about his apartment and found all her shit for once, surprisingly given how fucking trashed this place was
She worried she'd wake him but he was so out of it he fucking wet the bed. She didn't say shit as she hobbled out his place and into the early morning hours. She could feel her pussy thunder with each step and cry out from the banging it had taken but it also felt good too. She got little after shocks, where she'd just cum at the drop of a hat. She could feel her body pulse and pump and she'd have to pause and let the pleasure wash over her.
She struggled not to laugh knowing she'd been successful in her task...she'd found some stranger who had done her up nice and hard. She'd be feeling this for days...maybe even a week. She defiance hadn't been "safe" She laughed and then cried still thinking of Corrie.
She struggled to hold herself together as she staggered around outside, having no idea where she was. It still pretty dark, hard to see anything, she just picked a direction and went for a walk. She hoped to see something familiar or find a bus stop maybe even a cab. A bar would be nice but she knew none would be open this late or early, depending on how you looked at it. Either way she wanted to stay plastered. She didn't want to come down from this sex high.
After a few minutes she stopped walking. She grabbed the pack of cigarettes, she'd bought at the club and put a cigarette in her mouth. She dug through her purse trying to find a lighter or some matches but she didn't have shit. Usually she didn't smoke save for her apartment. She knew she should quit. It was a bad habit and Corrie didn't like it...but she supposed it didn't matter now, did it.
She groaned, when she realized she didn't have anything in her purse. It wasn't very big. It only carried the basic essentials, if it got lost it wouldn't matter. Frankly she was surprised she'd still hung onto it. She put the cigarettes away then looked around, wondering if there was any convenience stores near by that is when she noticed a shadowy figure in the distance.
They loomed under a street light from across the street just starting at her. As her eyes focused in on the figure she realized she recognized it. She'd seen him earlier, it was the hoodie guy from the bar. The one who'd darted into a stall while she was fucking that newbie guy. The dude was still bundled up, hood up, sunglasses and a scarf with various strands of hair, sticking out. It was odd to see him again and she wondered if they were close to that bar. If so they were close to her place but she didn't recognize shit.
Of course, if they weren't close to that bar... then what the fuck was he doing here? The odds of running into him again, here and now...the chances were unfucking likely. She stared at him for a moment longer then shrugged her shoulders. She was too fucked up to give a shit right now. She just chalked it up to coincidence and started staggering about again.
After a block or two, she noticed he was still behind her. He stopped when she stopped and moved when she moved. She scratched her nose, it took her brain a minute to click but she realizing he was indeed following her ass. "Great! A fucking stalker." she groaned. It was just what she needed right now. She turned around and decided to call out to him, might as well ask, ""YO! YOU GOT A LIGHT!"
Rather then respond, the man sunk back, disappearing into some nearby shadows of a building. "Alright then," She raised an eyebrow then hissed under her breath, "Fucking weirdo."
She turned around and continued to stagger about and he continued to follow her, keeping a solid distance between them. She debated if she could fight him off should he decide to get "closer." She wished she'd packed something more then the basics in her purse. How hard was it to add some spray or a whistle. At this point all she had was some tissues, cigarettes, lip gloss and maybe mints, a condom or two. She had some cash but not a ton, some change, small bills for the bus, maybe a twenty or a fifty. She could always toss her purse at him and hope he'd go away, realized she wasn't worth the effort. Of course, if he wanted more, she kept walking not wanting to think about it. She'd been in some sticky situations before but could usually find her way out.
The sun slowly started to rise and she caught glimpse of a bus. "Fuck yes."
She didn't care where it was going, she rush to it and got on it, hoping to lose this guy. It took off a few seconds after she got on and she didn't see him anywhere, yet as the bus stopped at the next stop he was fucking there. The fucker must have book it to catch the bus. He looked winded his shoulder rising and sinking. He got on and paid for his ticket.
He must have been in great shape to run that fast, another thing that was against her. Should he attack she now knew she couldn't outrun his ass. She debated saying something to the bus driver or getting off near a police station. Dude walked right passed her seat not even looking at her. He sat down a few seats behind her and she wondered what mind games shit he was playing.
"Are you following me?" she asked. "What do you want? I don't have like any money or shit. If you're looking to fuck I'm worn out."
The dude didn't respond he just sat there. As the bus went on she kept her eye on him. She also looked at the route map on the wall. She recognized one of the routes she'd taken while looking for a job. When the bus lines connected she got off and quickly rushed to catch the other bus. Of course it wasn't there and the fucking stalker had time to get off and find her at the bus stop but he didn't approach. He just kept a few dozen steps away. It was just her and him.
She turned to him, really not in the mood for this shit. She was still slightly drunk and the drugs had her all paranoid, making him bigger and smaller. She yelled out at him, "What is your fucking deal!"
The dude still didn't respond, just looked in her direction. She began to wonder if he was real or not, then felt sick this was even an issue right now. She must have taken some hard shit or something. She had no idea what she smoked earlier but you think it would have worn off or lessened by now. Most shit didn't last but a few hours. She found herself annoyed and hissed at the guy. "You better not be following me fucker." Tawnie was always good at intimidating guys that got freaky. What was it she always said, yeah, "I GOT A GUN! I'LL USE IT! DON'T MAKE ME WASTE YOUR ASS!"
She tried to sound convincing but the guy started laughing, it was a sickening, dark kind of laugh that didn't ease up her nerves in the slightest. She considered taking off but the bus she knew showed. She got on and so did he playing this fucking game again. He walked passed her without looking only to sit a few rows behind her She consider tripping him or lashing out but doubted it would do her any good.
Eventually she got off near her neighborhood. He still followed her. She didn't get what his deal was. Technically he hadn't done nothing to her but he was creeping her out. She turned around walking backwards, "I told you I ain't got no money asshole and my pussy is beat, a real fucking mess right now, trust me it ain't worth it so fuck off."
He just continued to follow her, like some fucking mindless zombie or deranged shadow creature. "FUCK OFF ALREADY!" She yelled still walking backwards, faster now. She wasn't watching where she was going, she tripped on some uneven sidewalk and fell down. She landed on her ass and her short skirt flared up. She gave him a good flash of her "who ha." Again with the laughter, he didn't get any closer, he just paused as she was sitting there on her ass and laughed. It was such a sickening cruel laughter that it unnerved her.
She didn't find this fucking funny. Was he just trying to mess with her or what? She quickly covered herself and got up. She didn't have time for this asshole. Her life was already a fucking mess right now and she didn't need his crazy ass laughing at her. She started walking again and went out of her way, not turning on the street she needed to. It hurt but she walked faster. She regretted getting so wild earlier. Her pussy was fucking throbbing at this point. She needed to lie down, have a good rest maybe take a hot fucking bath. First, she had to lose this guy there was no way she was letting him know where she lived.
She frantically looked around trying to form some plan but it was hard. Her head hurt and her heart was pounding in her chest. She spotted a bridge up ahead and got an idea. She walked faster getting to some steps that led up to a walking path along the bridge. She and Tawnie had fucked around on it a few times over the years, when they'd come back from partying too hard.
She knew there was this random fucking door that could be hard to spot. Tawnie had blown chunks off the bridge, this one time and they'd spotted it. Their curiosity got the better of them and they were a bit high at the time, thinking it might be some magical fucking door to another world. It ended up being a small maintenance room, nothing special but right now it could save her from this situation.
She'd have to time it just right, be quick and a little tricky. The guy was fast so she'd have to outsmart him, well at least distract him. She laughed knowing she wasn't always that smart, her teachers said she need to apply herself- She shook her head now was not the time to get distracted or go off on some old memory.
She painfully got the top of the stairs and turned around. She saw him at the bottom, he paused as she paused, keeping his distance. She took off her shoes and he tilted his head curiously, no doubt wondering what she was going to do next. She clenched the shoes in her fist, then threw them at him as hard as she could. The first one missed but the second one was a direct hit, she actually got him in the face, knocking his big sunglasses off. There was no time to celebrate. She watched as he quickly covered his eyes with his hands and scrambled to pick up the sunglasses. She took her chance and darted away faster then she ever had before.
For a moment as her bare feet clapped against the hard cement, she felt like the wind, felt like she could just rise up at any moment and take flight. She nearly tried to leap into the air but spotted the door. She shot down towards it, not looking back. She grabbed the handle and hoped they'd left it unlocked again, they had and she darted inside! It was struggle not to slam it behind her but she didn't want it to cause a sound. She quietly shut it, put her back against it and waited.
Her heart racing in her chest as she trembled, afraid he'd spotted her and was going to come after her. She waited listening, the room was a ways off to the side and below, She could hear various sounds echo throughout the room. She could hear the pounding of someone, no doubt running. It got loud, super loud and then quiet as it got farther away.. She didn't move she just waited in silence. Soon enough she heard it again less then a minute or so later the pounding was coming back from the direction it at faded. It was loud then quiet, appear and then disappear. He must have been running up and down looking for her. She heard it again and again, the pounding, it was almost as loud as her heart.
She clutched her chest and slid down the metal door sitting on the floor. She held herself, hoping he would just give up and go away. For a second she recalled the dream she'd had of being in that bathroom and someone trying to get in the door. She bit her lip, feeling that was a lot like this... only he wasn't at the door, yet. She also wasn't sure if it could lock. She turned to see if it had had a lock. It did! She locked it and then waited…waited and waited.
She began to feel cold, sick and exhausted. Every so often she'd begin to nod off then hear sounds waking her. Sometimes the sounds were loud and other times they were quiet. After a few minutes she was able to tell the difference between someone walking on the path vs running. She could also hear the occasional car. Then there got to be more and more, early morning traffic no doubt.
She waited for silence but things just got noisier so she waited for time to pass. She had no clock, to tell here how long it had been so she went with her gut. She waited and waited until she felt it was safe. She rose to her feet, even if he was still out there at least now it was broad daylight and she'd sobered up some. So if...if he wouldn't leave her alone there were people she could go to. She should have probably just told the bus drivers but she liked to handle things on her own when she could.
Other people and the police would just ask questions and judge her like that time she went missing after her mother died. Tawnie had filed a missing persons report, normally she wouldn't bother figuring she'd come back but her mom had just died. She'd worried about her. Gwyne still wasn't sure about what happened during that time but after she'd woken naked in the field, she'd managed to find a ride. The police were contacted and they'd asked her all sorts of questions, where had she been, what had she been doing and who with. Again she recalled the back of a pickup truck and a bunch of guys surrounding her. She couldn't recall their faces but remembers their hands and fucking them.
She'd didn't know if it had anything to do with waking up in that field or not back then she'd gotten so wasted, she couldn't answer any of the police's questions. When they found out she'd been drinking and doing drugs, they wanted to know where she got them from and how much she'd used. Chaos nearly ensued, she almost got arrested. The whole ordeal had left a bad taste in her mouth. Now she liked to handle things on her own. She'd already handled so much and could handle one fucking guy.
She adjusted her outfit and walked out the door ready for anything but thankfully he was gone. Though new problems arouse, the sun...it was fucking blinding. She hadn't even been to sleep but felt like she had a hang over. She also had to piss really bad and didn't know if she was going to make it back to her place in time.
She got back onto the bridge and went back down the stairs. She was kind of hoping her shoes would still be there but they weren't. The dude must have taken them, why she didn't know but it sucked. She had kind of liked those shoes, she regretted throwing them instead of something from her purse but in the end it had done the trick. She painfully began to walk home but kept looking over her shoulder, every fucking second.
She didn't turn onto her street until she was absolutely fucking certain no one was following her. When she got to her place she quickly darted inside. No sooner had she shut the door, did her phone start to ring. She didn't bother answering it, she just locked her door and rushed to the bathroom. The entire time she was relieving herself it rang and rang. After she washed her hands she staggered up to it worried it might be an emergency. Yet every time her answering machine picked up the caller hung up. One time she just heard heavy breathing and what sounded like a grunt.
She bit her lip wondering if the guy who'd been followed her and the caller, were one in the same but there was no way! She was just being paranoid...had to be. How would he have her number so quickly? He didn't even know where she lived, hopefully. She tried to think if she'd picked up anyone weird lately but beyond Dawson and the guys tonight, she hadn't been with anyone but Corrie.
Still maybe some perv found her number in some bathroom stall or Tawnie gave it out, or one of the jobs she applied for had a creepy boss. She recalled one guy had given her a once over, when she'd turned in her application. His eyes had lit up and he got this big smile on his face before he'd winked at her. She furrowed her brow now thinking she might have to change her number once she got a job.
Her phone kept ringing and ringing. After a bit her machine started picking up sighs, more grunts and groans, frustration no doubt from her not answering. It was really creeping her out. She ended up taking the phone off the hook, not wanting to deal with it right now. She took some medication and drew herself a hot bath, treating herself. She filled it up with various smelling salts and bubbles. When it was ready she cleaned off her feet good in the shower and got in.
The hot water felt amazing, especially since she was so sore. Once she'd sunk in all the way up to her neck, she just laid there for a moment letting the warm wash over her. Then she played with the bubbles, there was so many of them. She took some up in her hand and blew them about the room. Surprisingly they blew pretty far too. She swore she could suddenly feel a slight breeze in the room and wondered where it was coming from, since the bathroom didn't have any windows.
She shrugged and moved on putting some bubbles on her face, making fake beards and then hats. It was childish to play around but is always brought back fond and safe memories. There was nothing like a hot bubble bath to brighten up her mood. After a while she dunked her head under the water then began scrubbing her body good, outside and in. Her pussy still ached but started to calm down some as the hot soothing waters got to it. She must have stayed in for an hour, adding more hot water every now and then as her bath started to cool.
She sobered up some more after she almost fell asleep in the tub. There was nothing like falling under the water to wake your ass up. She felt beyond tired then and super fucking thirsty. She got out and wrapped a towel around herself. She rushed to the kitchen and got a big glass of water. She drank it all down then went back into the bathroom to clean up. She drained the tub and finished drying off. At one point she looked at herself in the mirror, she felt disgusted.
She began to tear into her self. What was tonight? She knew she wanted to get messed up but she'd pushed it. The first guy was fine but those last two could have done anything to her, driving her out to the middle of nowhere. That big guy was crazy, on all sorts of shit, punching holes in his walls and the shit he said. She vaguely recalled him saying he wanted to know what it was like to kill someone.
She'd dismissed it at the time but now...FUCK, what a statement. He wanted to know what it felt like to kill someone. What the fuck! What if he'd lost it and just beat her to death. And that guy following her tonight what was she thinking, talking to him and yelling at him, she shouldn't have interacted. As soon as she knew he was following her, she really should have reported him or something, who knows what the fuck he was after...whatever it was it couldn't be good.
She had messed around and been so stupid tonight... fuck for a while now. She'd been playing things off the cuff, allowing anything to happen. She knew there was only so many time she could hurl herself though space without getting hit. She felt like she really was just a heart beat away from crashing into oblivion. She thought...She thought she was beyond this noise, beyond wanting to die.
Yet she allowed herself to get into these risky situations. Because of what? One man didn't want her. How low could you get? How pathetic was she that one man could send her spiraling into the abyss. You think by now she would have known better. Did she ever learn?
She ran a hand over her face, feeling too sick to think anymore. She just made it to her toilet as she vomited. All the water she'd drank came out but not much else. She realized she hadn't eaten shit last night and had just been rolling alcohol and drunks on an empty stomach. She knew she should eat something but couldn't manage to get up from the toilet.
She spent half the morning by it until she started dry heaving. Eventually she got herself up and downed a smoothie before collapsing on her bed. Everything felt like it was spiraling out of control as she clung to her pillows. She just wanted it to stop, wanted herself to stop messing around and up.
She passed out and wasn't sure how long she slept. When she woke up, she felt dehydrated, sore and achy as shit. She took another hot bath and some over the counter pain relief. It helped her to feel better but not a hundred percent. She put the phone back on the hook, only long enough to order some food, then took it off the hook again.
She mostly stayed in bed over the next few days. Mr. Charles stopped by a few times knocking on the door but she pretended not to be home. She was too tired and depressed to work out. On the third or fourth day she started to feel better and wondered why Tawnie hadn't called yet. She felt like an idiot when she remembered her phone was still off the hook. She hung it up, deciding she was ready to take calls and cleaned up a bit.
She did some laundry and was changing her sheets when her phone rang. She picked it up without thinking and there was silence, "Hello," she said. She heard this strange sound, breathing like someone was letting out a sigh, "Hello," She said again, "Who is this?" More breathing and some light moaning. She hung up and cursed under her breath, "Fucking creep."
At this rate she really might have to change her number. She let out a heavy sigh, smoked a cigarette, then checked her mail. It was nothing but bills and advertisements. She made some comfort food from left overs then watched some movies. As she was watching them, she went over her bills and suddenly realized those jaw of sperms had stopped coming.
She was glad but wondered if that meant things were over between her and Dawson. She hadn't seen him in a bit. He said she'd known when it was over but would this be it? She wasn't sure. If he canceled her food subscription and Mr. Charles stopped coming by then maybe? Until then she wasn't going to worry about it. After all if he showed up right now, she'd be too hurt to play with him.
She wasn't sure if she was going to tell him about the randoms or skimping on his list. At this point she wasn't sure of anything, Dawson...Corrie. She might have gone from two lovers to none. She groaned but distracted herself. Over the next few days, she estimated her budget, wrote a letter to Amber and did some more job hunting.
She called a lot of places she'd applied to but they sounded weird on the phone almost uncomfortable once she told them her name. One woman had been so friendly upon answering, then started awkwardly stammering after Gwyne gave her name. She said the position was filled before quickly hanging up. It was kind of weird, then again maybe she was overthinking it?
She continued to rest and looked up more places to apply. She slowly started to feel better and knew she was back to her old self when she started to get aroused again.
She stopped avoiding Mr. Charles, telling him she'd been away. He didn't question it at all. He just took her to the gym and salon. She also had him take her to a place that replaced tires. She found out how much knew motorcycle tires would cost and decided it would have to wait until after she got a job.
Mr. Charles took her home after that, it was always so weird, having someone driver her places and make absolutely no conversation. She tried a few times to ask him about his day or make small talk but Mr. Charles was always professional and very curt with her. She couldn't tell if he like her or not. She guessed it didn't matter, after all this was his job. One time she asked where Dawson was? She mentioned not having heard from him in a bit. Mr. Charles just said it wasn't his place to address such things.
Everyday she got strange phone calls, like an idiot, she kept hoping it was Corrie. She hoped he wanted to make up and still just didn't know the way to do so. She also also hoped it was a job offer. Sometimes she didn't want to go out worried she might miss Corrie popping by. When she did go out she'd always hoped to find him there when she returned. It was truly sad that she still cared so much...that if he walked through her door right now, she wouldn't be mad at all but so happy to have him back.
Tawnie eventually called her, she and that guy she'd met at the party, had been going really heavy but it turned out to be a bust. He was more into The Terrible Trubles then her and was hoping she could hook him up with their contact info or more details. Other then that she was also looking for jobs in need of cash herself. Gwyne told her she could crash at her place if she needed to stay but said her cousin needed her to pet sit so it was fine for now.
Gywne was hoping she'd come over, she didn't really want to be alone right now. She wasn't sure what she'd get up to. She tried to focus on finding a job and working out but kept thinking of Corrie. They'd fought before and she'd think it might be the end but he always, eventually came back a few days, sometimes weeks later but what if he didn't? What if this was really it? No! She wouldn't let herself get down. She stopped feeling sorry for herself and focused on getting a job. After a few days she actually got an interview.
It was a job answering phones as a receptionist for a small office. She wasn't sure what the guy did, He was very vague, just saying he was a consultant of sorts. She thought it was a bit weird but at least she got an interview. They talked for about half an hour and he kept giving her this weird vibe. After the end of the interview he informed her she wouldn't be getting the job. She asked why and he just said he wasn't a fan of her resume. He suggested he was looking for someone with more office experience. Still she took it as a win because at least she got her foot in the door.
A few more weeks flew by she got some interviews but no job offers. Gwyne had lunch with Tawnie and she paid. She had gotten some gig work walking dogs, delivering mail and doing personal shopping. She suggested Gwyne try it out. It didn't pay a whole lot but money was money. Gwyne took the name of the gig place but didn't apply just yet, money was money but she also had a lot of bills to pay. She needed steady work, a steady income. If she didn't find anything by the end of the month she'd call. Though it gave her an idea to try a temp agencies.
She looked up a few agencies in a phone book on her way home. She wrote down there numbers and planned to call them when she got home but her phone was already ringing when she got inside. She waited for her answering machine to pick up. She expected it to be silence or breathing but this time there was a voice. It was quiet almost a whisper but said her name, "Gwyne."
She didn't recognize the voice but picked up, "Hello?"
"Gwyne," again the voice was low, hard to hear, lightly whispering.
"Yeah? Who is this?" She wondered if it was someone calling for a job interview.
The person spoke up, clearing their throat, "Eight, tonight."
"Eight tonight?" She repeated and then realized it was Dawson. "Oh Dawson! What's up?"
"Tonight, eight," he said it louder this time, before hanging up.
She held the phone thinking it was weird. He didn't sound like himself at all, if anything he sounded ill. Maybe he'd been sick and was recovering or couldn't talk where he was. She knew he was married, his wife knew about him stepping out but maybe the kids didn't. She wasn't sure? She also wondered how he'd gotten her number. She'd have to ask later. She hung up the phone and admittedly got excited knowing she have a date tonight. She looked at the time, she had about three hours to get ready.
She took her time putting her things away. She'd popped by the grocery store on her way back from seeing Tawnie. Now she wondered if it would spoil, given she was gone for a week with their first date and two weeks with their second date and now it was their…third. She didn't know why but her head got all prickly thinking her numbers were off. She suppose it just felt like they'd seen each other more given she'd spend days or weeks at a time.
She chuckled thinking she might be gone a month this time. Oh she hoped not, she had bills to pay plus Tawnie might get worried. She picked up her phone and decided to give her a heads up. She'd like to say she'd have some restrain with Dawson but when it came to him and how she'd been lately she doubted it. The phone rang a few times and the machine picked up, she must not have gotten home yet.
Gwyne left her a quick, clean message knowing this was her cousin's phone. She told her she'd be seeing Dawson tonight and not to freak out if she was gone for a bit. She also asked her not to "jump" on her bed just cause she wasn't using it, didn't mean Tawnie and her friends could. She thought it was clean enough in case one of her nieces of nephews picked it up.
She had a small snack, a little bag of cookies and an apple as she watched some TV. When it was about an hour until her date, she took a shower and powdered herself up. Then she put on her corset, she had gotten used to wearing it by now and didn't mind it. In fact it kind of felt weird not wearing it. She might tell him he might like hearing that. She still wasn't sure what she was going to say, if he ask about her following his list. She was kind of glad their call had been short-
She froze, it was strange but for a moment she swore she recalled him already asking her about his lists. Yes while she was cooking something...stir fry...yes her mothers stir fry. It was weird she hadn't made it in years. Now she wanted stir fry. She'd have to make a note to go shopping for it, when she got back. Her mother always made it from scratch. It took some time but was always worth it.
She continued to get ready and wondered why she had the impression he'd called her or that she was cooking her mothers stir fry. Was it a dream? It had to be. It was weird. She looked through her clothes trying to recall more of it but there was nothing else. She didn't give it much more thought picking out a nice red dress.
She slid it up and then spent some time putting her hair up, she plucked out a few hairs and curled them. She put on some perfume and then got to work on her make up. The temporary stuff from the salon really held up even though she'd missed her last appointment. She touched it up a bit and was just applying some lipstick when she heard her front door open.
She wondered if it was Tawnie. Had she gotten her message? Probably not, that would have been a fast turn around time, to get home then come rushing over when her cousin lived on the other side of the city. Maybe she had gotten a ride. Gwyne rushed out to greet her but it was...Corrie.
Her heart sunk. It was a funny thing... since the moment he walked out her door, she had wanted nothing more then for him to come back. She was in utter agony thinking this might be it that they might actually be over this time but now here he was. Of course this was how it happened, he'd just show up one day and they'd talk about anything but the fight, have make up sex and move on like nothing had happened. Things would be good after and they'd continue until their next fight which could be weeks or even months...
It was a cycle... their cycle. However this time...this time...usually when she saw him again, after a big fight or a long absence, her heart would leap. This was the first time it had sunk. The first time she wasn't over the moon with joy to see him again. It hurt doing this over and over again. She felt like her heart was a wet cloth, each time they fought and made up it got wrung out and each time there was less and less liquid… love. Soon enough there wouldn't be any left and it would be all dried up
He shut the door behind him and came in carrying a bucket of chicken and a case of beer. He didn't make eye contract with her nor glance in her direction. He just went to set everything down on her kitchen table. He paused when he got to it, seeing it was broken. He must have forgotten about it. She hadn't touched the table since their fight nor everything he'd thrown on the floor. It was all just a mess. Every time she went to tidy up, she just couldn't bring herself to clean it.
She took a deep breath now and stepping into the main room more. She leaned up against a support beam, crossed her arms and said, "Yeah, we broke it."
He didn't respond he just moved on, putting everything on the kitchen counters instead. He opened the bucket of chicken and it smelled nice. She considered grabbing a piece but didn't want to ruin her appetite, anymore then she already had just in case Dawson took her to dinner. Right, Dawson, their date. She stood there wondering if she was going to cancel it now.
Corrie was here... if it ever came down to it, she swore she would always choose him over anyone or anything else….right. Right.. but that was before, when she thought she still had a sliver of a chance. It was before their latest fight where he'd made it absolutely clear he didn't love her and that this...this was a mistake. She'd also told him she loved him, spilled the beans and he'd still walked out. She'd shown him her hand as her father would say and there was nothing left now. She'd gone all in and lost.
She'd lost. She took another deep breath and slowly turned away from him. She went back into the bathroom to finished up her make up. He turned on some sports channel, she could hear the announcer and cheering. He was sitting on the couch with some chicken and a beer, when she got back out.
She stared at the back of his head for a long moment. She knew what she was suppose to do, grab some chicken and sit next to him. They'd probably watch the game, but not really. Talk about something meaningless until the tensions broke, then she'd snuggle up to him and he'd put his arm around her. After the game or when things were good enough, they'd head o bed, have sex and spoon. In the morning he'd be gone and things would be back to the way they'd been for the last three years.
Yes, she knew what to do, had been doing it off and on for three years...three years. In another month it would be four. She'd be twenty-six the month after that. She furrowed her brow. She just couldn't do this...not tonight. She knew now wasn't the best time to inform him of Dawson but it was never going to be a good time.
She moved a strand of her hair behind her ear as she slid on some shoes and quietly said, "Be sure to lock up when you leave. I've got my key."
He perked up. "You going somewhere?"
"Yeah," she said quietly. "I got a date."
"Really," he said, from his tone, it sounded like he didn't believe her. He probably thought she was making it up, to make him jealous or something. He didn't bother to looked back at her still staring at the TV. "Meet someone, did yah?" Again his tone was nonchalant.
She paused for a moment then corrected him. "Met. The biter, from that party Tawnie and I went to a few months back. I've sort of been seeing him."
She began loading up a small clutch purse with essentials. She made sure to pick up the bag of five grand in cash off the floor. She slipped it into her purse, hoping Corrie wouldn't notice she was taking it with her. Of course what did it matter. Really what business of it was his. She tried not to be bitter. She wondered if he was going to respond or not.
After a few solid minutes of silence, he finally said "Yeah," His tone had changed and he actually turned to look at her now. She watched as he realized she was all dressed up. She could have been reading into things but he looked slightly worried as he continued. "Oh."
The party had been a while back now... months. He might be worried this was something serious. It was shit like this that made her think he was lying to himself, when he said he didn't care about her. She considered letting him linger...letting him think something serious might be going on with this guy, that someone might actually be stealing her away from him but… but even as heartbroken and bitter as she was, at the end of the day, she still loved him.
Just because he didn't...didn't mean she could shut her feeling off. She'd never been good with that sort of thing. She didn't want to hurt Corrie or make him worry especially over nothing. She watched him slowly turn back around and face the TV.
She let out a heavy sigh before casually saying "It's nothing serious, it wont ever be, guy is married and has kids."
Corrie whirled around to face her once more, this time with a nasty look on his face. "Seriously!"
"What?" she said.
"Why do you keep doing this!"
"Doing what?," she said. "You told me to find someone,".
"Yeah, I meant available. Someone who will love you and be with you. Not some married guy who's just messing around."
She really wanted to snap back," What does it matter who I'm with, I'm only ever going to really want to be with you. You're the guy I want to love me, to be with me. I know you made a choice but...I...in these last three years I also made a choice to love you...to be with you, regardless" But she knew that would just make him walk out again...for who knows how long.
He didn't want her love. He didn't want more then this. He was just here for now and that was all this was ever going to be. She needed to face that fact and start living her life based on the understanding that no matter how much or long she loved him, he really was never going to be hers and one day, no matter how she felt, he wasn't going to come back.
He was still just looking at her, waiting for her to respond. She tried to think of what she should say, versus what she wanted to say. She opened her mouth but before she could speak, she heard a horn honk, saved by the bell, Dawson was right on time.
She clutched her purse and said, "Right, well I guess I'll catch you later."
She turned from him, it was hard not responding and even harder not staying. She went to the door, put her hand on the door knob and turned it. If he said anything right now, she might have stopped but he didn't. She opened the door and walked out. In the three years they'd been together she'd never walked out on him. She never left when he was here, valuing every second of their precious time together…their time together. She needed to be honest with herself, he was never really here, not like she was.
She loved someone who didn't care for her...not in the same way. She shut the door and went to the steps. She could see Dawson's latest car waiting in the center of the street. She stared at it for a moment then went down the steps. She took her time going down the first set of stairs and then around to the second set. She got to the sidewalk and saw her bike, Corrie's was parked right next to it. She walked between the two as she stepped up to Dawson car. He popped the door open and she got in.
She didn't bother to look back, to see if Corrie was standing at the top of the stairs or still inside on the couch. In the end it didn't matter. His feelings would still be the same. She buckled her seat belt and sat back closing her eyes, a moment later they sped off, into the night. |
