Gwyne woke to the sound of a phone, blasting in her ears. She felt beyond hung over and her pussy ached. Ah fuck her entire body ached but her pussy, felt like it was on fire. She opened her eyes confused. Where was she now? It took her a second, but she realized she was at her place? Wait? At her place? She looked around even more confused, usually when she was this fucked up, she was at someone else’s place. She tried to recall what happened but the phone stopped ringing and her answering machine picked up. She quickly realized it was Tawnie.
“Hey girl, did I miss you again. Poo, just what have you been up-”
“Tawnie!” Gwyne answered, just managing to stumble to the phone.
“YOU’RE ALIVE!” Tawnie, blasted into her ear.
She held her head but excitedly said, “Tawnie, I’m so glad I caught you! I keep meaning to but I just keep missing your calls. How are you? Where are you?”
“I’m good, heading on my way back, should be there soon, you want to hang out?”
“You know it. I’m so glad to have you back, so much has been going on.”
“Ooo what! What! TELL ME!”
“Well, Corrie got me a motorcycle and has been like teaching me to ride it and then that guy, Dawson popped back up.” She felt a little strange saying his name, knowing if he were here he’d be mad.
“REALLY!” she said excitedly. “What you do this time? Any new piercings”
“No,” cried Gwyne shaking her head. “But so much has happened, the dude...uhh like he is sooo intense, sometimes too intense.”
She pulling on her phone cord, she still had one of those old landlines but the cord was super long, it could reach most places in her studio apartment. She went to her bed wanting to lie back down. However when she got to it she paused, noticing a bottle of hard liquor in the bed and nearly all of it was gone. She also noticed that smart sex toy Dawson had given her and it looked like she’d used it. There was a huge wet stain around it. Had she gotten drunk and master baited? That was weird? She tilted her head, trying to recall but her mind was a complete blank. She must have got black out drunk but she-
“GWYNE COME ON! YOU’RE KILLING ME HERE! DETAILS! DETAILS!
“Right, sorry a bit hung over.”
“Ooo were you with him?”
“No,” she said, holding head, wait...was she? She paused for a moment but no, no she hadn't seen him in weeks. “No, it been a few weeks, he had some business pop up. But like before that UHHH!” She collapsed on her bed. “Like dude surprised me out of nowhere, while I was shopping. Like I thought it was over with him, given he like dropped off the face of the planet but he showed up and couldn’t keep his hand off me. I was still a bit freaked about the clit ring thing and that missing week. He claims nothing happened, that he just gave me something to knock my ass out for the pain but like I don’t know.”
“Well what did you do? Did you go with him or what?”
“Yeah, I did!” she squealed, “Uh, the shit we did! THE SHIT I DID! Like he took me to this flower garden, outside the city, this real upscale place, they use for big weddings and shit and he had me walk around and expose myself as he took pictures.”
“No way!” she cried.
“Yeah.” she said, “It was freaky but also kind of fun and that’s not all, like we fucked outside and then he had me streak back to the car.”
“YOU STREAKED! Shit girl! You get caught?
“Yeah,” she squealed again, “By a few people maybe half a dozen or so, uhh. I think they were setting up for a wedding or something.” She laughed thinking it was funny now. At the time it was terrifying but now it was just another crazy story to tell Tawnie. “The wedding planner like saw me and flipped out, I swear all screaming and shit. My fat ass was all scrambling around naked and scared half to death. It was so crazy! I can’t believe I did it and like they had security cameras so they probably caught my ass.”
“Shit! Was he naked?
“No,” she said. “He was getting the car.”
“Well fuck! Is that all?”
“OH NO!” she said, “We did a ton of shit, for days, like I was with him for two weeks and like the last night we were together, was the craziest. He took me on the roller coaster. You know the one I swear I’d never go on at the amusement park.”
“NO FUCKING WAY! I’ve been trying to get you on that for years? How did he manage!”
“Well, he sprung it on me and let’s just say, he can be very persuasive!”
“I bet!” said Tawnie. She sounded shocked, which was a lot coming from her.
“Yeah and get this, the think even broke down.”
“Really, were you at the top? Did you get stuck in a loop?”
“No just stopped short, it was super windy that day and it must have done something cause after they got us off, they had to shut it down for maintenance, gave everyone else who was waiting fast passes,”
“Shit,” she said
“Yeah and when we were done with the roller coaster,” Gwyne paused and took a deep breath anticipating Tawnie’s reaction with glee. “He took me to a secret sex club!”
“NO FUCKING WAY! A secret sex club. Like an actual FUCKING SEX CLUB!”
“Yes, like the ones we used to read about in Coquette but it have so much more going on. Shit we couldn’t have even dreamed about.”
“SERIOUSLY! You have to take me there as soon as I get back!”
“I can’t! It’s like a super secret place for the rich, like you need a membership and cards to get it and they have a fucking secret entrance. Like they had us enter through a fridge it was so wild.”
“A fridge? Uh fuck, no fair. Here I thought I was gonna be having the best summer ever and you’re having all the fun, with this dude.”
“Are you not having fun?” Gwyne asked. She noticed Tawnie had a bit of a tone in her voice.
“How was it? You at least have to tell me that.” said Tawnie.
Gwyne noted she didn’t answer but went on. “It was a wild Tawnie, some of the shit I saw. It was like fucking surprising and overwhelming.”
“You have to tell me everything when I get back. Maybe we can find a way to get in on our own you know.”
“Maybe but I don’t know, the area around the club is super seedy and kind of dangerous. Like okay, we probably shouldn’t have,” she said rolling our eyes, “But after we left, we fucked outside in like a park a few blocks away. A bunch of perverts caught us and took pictures. We just barely got away.”
“WHAT WERE YOU DOING FUCKING IN A PARK! The whole point of a sex club is to you know have sex, inside said club.”
“I know, I know we did. I fucked some random cock in a glory hole room while he took my ass, it was crazy but then I had to pee and he told me we couldn’t use the bathrooms in the clubs cause apparently human toilet’s are a thing.”
“Say what?”
“Yeah it’s how it sound like people being toilets,”
“Shit, okay that’s another thing I don’t know about.”
Gwyne remembered their previous conversation from the other day. “Still want to try everything?” She teased
“So you had to pee?” said Tawnie not wanting to answer.
Gwyne laughed. “Yeah, so I had to pee and he took me to the park and then we got frisky and then the shit with the pervs happen. But yeah we both have super high sex drives, though for once his might actually be higher then mine.”
“Wow,”
“Yeah I know right! I swear we did so much shit, had so much sex, there were points I felt like I was in a sex coma,”
“DANG GIRL! A SEX COMA!”
“Yeah it was so so much sex, like even for me and you know I can go but like I thought he was gonna take my pussy out.”
“SHIT! He got a brother or something?”
“No clue, he’s a very, very private guy. So far I only know he’s married and has kids but like the wife doesn’t mind him fucking around or whatever. From what I gather he has flings often. He told me he orders women like pizza.”
“Shit this guy sounds crazy awesome, takes you to cool fucking places and tons of sex”
“Yeah, but like he’s super high maintenance.” said Gwyne she let out a sigh. “He’s super cocky and his mood swings, can be a thing...much at time. He also wants me to do all this weird stuff for him. Like taking a bunch of pills, vitamins and supplements, he gave me fucking shots and shit, like syringe shots and not, shots shots!”
“Dang are you doing hard shit?”
“No, it wasn’t drugs. It was more healthy shit or something, he said he gave me something for stds and my hair or something. He was in a hurry, I barley understood half of it. I was like sick for days but feel kind of amazing now, like I have so much energy and I look amazing. So I guess it was nothing super bad. Oh and he got me a meal plan, like they deliver to my place once a week, with all my meals. He said he wants me at my “peak” or some shit. He even pays for me to have like salon treatments, like I’m talking wealthy salon too for hair skin and nails. Oh, oh and he also got me a personal trainer at this gym that is like a fucking mall, I swear. I have to find a way to get you in there, at least once, so you can see how crazy this place is. Maybe they’ll let me have a guest pass or refer a friend.”
“Shit Gwyne, sounds like you got a sugar daddy! I thought you were against that?”
“I still am,” said Gwyne with a sigh. “I don’t really think of him like that. It’s more like I get perks dating him, like that guy you used to date, who could get us back stage at all those concerts.”
“Yeah, yeah, I remember that guy, it was fun till he turned out to be a total douche. So when do I get to meet him? I want to go to the water restaurant and oh that sex club too now. LET’S DO BOTH!”
“Right,” said Gwyne with a laugh, “About meeting him. He’s got a similar hangup to Corrie. He doesn’t want to meet you or anyone.”
“NOOO!” cried Tawnie “This sucks he’s sounds awesome.”
“I might be over selling him, not everything is awesome,” said Gwyne. She bit her lip and debated telling her about the other things but knew it would just set her off. She continued “Like he can get seriously moody and demanding. He also wants me to wear a corset all the time and sends me these jars of sperm, like every week. Like he wants me to fill myself up with cold old ass cum.”
“Okay,” said Tawnie slowly. Gwyne was glad she wasn’t the only one that thought it was weird. Tawnie continued “But you know, some crazy is good, if the guy is too prefect, something is seriously fucked up with him.”
“Yeah, well trust me he’s got issues but who doesn’t right? I mean, I know I’ve got plenty.”
“You and me both.” agreed Tawnie.
Gwyne felt bad about keeping things from her. She was sure if Tawnie were here she would have picked up on it. Hopefully Gwyne would be able to keep things quiet until this things with Dawson had run its course. Maybe one day she’d let her know everything but for now she was just having fun and messing around. That’s all this was, yet she bit her lip again, knowing there was more to it.
The phone grew quiet as neither of them spoke and she heard some sounds on Tawnie’s end. Some rustling and then a toilet flushing. Tawnie must have been in the bathroom. She heard a sink run, then Tawnie spoke “It sucks I can’t meet him but I’m glad you’ve finally got some spice in your life again. I hate to admit it but you were becoming very dull.”
“Right,” said Gwyne shaking her head.
She heard a banging sound and Tawnie got quiet all of a sudden, almost whispering, “Listen, I don’t have long, I’m sort of burrowing this phone but you have to tell me, what does “Corrie” think about all this?”
“Corrie,” said Gwyne closing her eyes “Uh, yeah I haven’t told him yet. Like if this keeps going on I will but so far this guy seems to just pop up for a few weeks and then disappears for who knows how long. Like I don’t know when or even if I’m going to see him, again.”
“Oh you’ll see him again.” said Tawnie confidently, “You have to! I know what he said about meeting but I have to, at least get a glimpse at him, maybe at a distance, break me out some binoculars on a rooftop or some shit.” Gwnye could so picture her doing that. Both girl laughed before Tawnie continued, “Also if he doesn’t want to meet me that’s fine but still get him to treat you and a friend, ie me at that fucking boat restaurant.”
Gwyne chuckled opening her eyes as she sat up. “Give me time, I’m not making any promises but I’ll see if I can make it happen.” She let out a sigh then continued, “Still it’s probably best the two of you never meet cause he might even be too intense for you.”
“Uh girl, nobody is too intense for me!”
She heard more banging, then some girl shout, “Can I please have my phone back! You said five minutes!”
“Yeah, yeah,” said Tawnie, “I got to go but we’re so not done. I want all the details and what not, when I get back. Just wait till you hear about what I’ve been up to.”
“When will you be back?” Gwyne asked.
“Soon I’m hitching, so maybe a week, maybe more if I get distracted but could be less, if I meet a gentleman who wants to take me all the way.”
“Wait I thought you had a ride with those brothers”
“Oh that fell through a bit ago.”
“Wait what!”
There was more banging. “Gotta go,” she said hurriedly. “I’ll call you when I get in, we’ll have drinks, hit up some clubs, maybe pick up some guys, if you’re up for it. LATERS!”
“Laters,”said Gwyne with a sigh. “Love you”
“Love you.” Tawnie said back before she hung up.
Gwyne had a feeling Tawnie had a lot going on but it was just going to have to wait until she got back. For a moment she laid back down debating if she should just go back to sleep. Eventually she groaned, deciding to get up after all she had a mystery to solve. First she took something for her hang over, then looked around her bed for any more clues about last night as far as she could tell, there were none.
She found herself quite puzzled. She had fallen asleep masturbating before and had even done it drunk before but the fact that she drank that bottle of liquor, was off to her. It wasn’t cheap and she’d had it for a while now. She’d hid it in the back of her cabinet and had been saving it for a special occasion. Perhaps when she and Corrie finally got together. It was a long shot but still if there was a chance she wanted something to celebrate. She wondered why on earth she would have suddenly cracked it open.
Also that smart toy, she’d used it a few times but this time it felt different, like she had actually been fucked, like by a cock. Maybe she’d done something different being drunk and all but she’d never felt like this from a toy. She went to the bathroom and then checked herself out in the mirror. Her sex was all puffy and swollen but clean, save for her own natural juices. Her hole also looked a little larger then normal and was slightly open. She must have left the toy in for a while or done it a lot.
She ran a hand through her hair confused. She walked around the rest of her place, seeing if anything else was off. It kind of felt like being a detective and shit but everything else looked normal, well almost normal. The money Dawson had given her was in a bag on her kitchen table. She wasn’t sure why? I mean she wanted to give it back, so she’d have to put it in a bag.
She must have done it while drinking or maybe Corrie popped by and done it. He wanted her to put it in a bank, maybe this was his way of encouraging her? I mean she could have been drinking with him but why use the toy then? Nothing made sense right now. She cleaned off the smart toy and put it away before finishing off the liquor since it was already open, might as well. She had some breakfast and eventually shrugged letting it go, at this point she’d either remember last night or not.
She sat at her kitchen table and stared at the money some more, she hadn’t told Tawnie about the cash. She already thought Gwyne had a sugar daddy and the money would have defiantly convinced her. She would also probably want Gwyne to keep it or give it to her, if she wasn’t going to. Either way keeping it or giving it away, still felt wrong to her.
After a while, she rubbed her forehead and took her vitamins. She wandered around her place some more then took a hot bath, hoping to feel better but she still felt off. The next day, when Mr. Charles came to pick her up, she told him she wasn’t feeling well and needed some time off from the gym. He gave her a number to call, when she wanted him to pick her up again. Over the next few days she mostly took it easy, lounging around the house, sleeping off and on.
After about a week or so she felt slightly better but still so strange. She gave it another few days then called Mr. Charles to start picking her up again. She mostly worked out at the gym and stuck around her place. Eventually it came time to pay bills, at the rate she was going her savings was going to be sucked dry. She really considered keeping the cash for a moment but again knew she couldn’t. She let out a heavy sigh and decided to go hardcore on job searching. She spent a few hours making a better resume then went to bed.
The next day she woke up early, showered, did her hair in a single braid and wore something that looked professional. She went around the neighborhood looking for any new help wanted signs but there weren’t any. It would seem she’d already applied everywhere in the neighborhood but hadn’t gotten a single call back. She was a bit worried, usually by now she should have heard something. She made some change at a convenient store and grabbed some newspapers to look through, later on.
She took the bus to the library and typed up a copy of her new resume. She was hoping to make copies but their copier was down. Still she walked around the area near the library, filling out at least two dozen applications. At this point she’d take just about any job. By the time she got home, she was exhausted. She ate, drank a bottle of water and went to bed.
That night, she had a horrible nightmare, she was in some dark and dirty warehouse. She was surrounded by pigs or she was a pig? No she was dressed as a pig! It was all so confusing. She kept seeing flashes from a camera and blinding lights. She heard someone shouting “FUCK PIGGY FUCK!” She couldn’t be sure if it was at her or in general. Their voice just kept echoed through the warehouse. She saw herself getting fucked from behind by a faceless figure.
Then suddenly glass shattered, there was so much broken glass everywhere. She thought it was from windows but no... there were mirrors, yes several mirrors surrounded her. The faceless figure moved about the room, madly yelling and talking to themselves. She couldn’t make out what they were saying but they kept getting angry, smashing all the mirrors, even as it was cutting them up.
She was so confused, scared and cold. She freaked the fuck out curling up on the ground. The faceless figure grabbed a shard of glass and she saw them coming at her, through the corner of her eye! They were going to cut her up and make bacon out of her but suddenly several shadowy figures appear behind the faceless figure.
One of the shadowy figures rose up above all others, loomed over the faceless figure. Suddenly several sets of hands reached out grabbing hold of the faceless figure, dragging them back. The faceless figure cried out in such agony. She had no idea what the shadows were doing but the figure clutched its chest and dropped the shard of glass on the ground. It shattered into a million piece on the ground over and over again. There was so much glass and blood, it was everywhere.
She woke up kicking and screaming. She lashed out around her then rolled and jumped out of bed. Once she got to her feet, she looked around and quickly realized she’d been having a nightmare. She ran her hand over her face and let out a sigh of relief. She tried to calm down but felt restless. She began to pace about the room recalling the dream.
She ran her fingers over her lips hearing that chant in her head, “FUCK PIGGY FUCK! FUCK PIGGY FUCK! It was grotesque and haunting. She didn’t know why but this nightmare had disturbed her greatly. It had felt so real as if it had actually happened. She ran her hands through her hair as her heart raced and she found she was covered in a cold sweat. She kept pacing but couldn’t calm herself down enough to go back to sleep so she just decided to stay up.
She sat on her couch, watched late night TV and ate some junk food she still had in her kitchen cabinets. She knew Dawson wasn’t going to be happy, she was snacking but again he didn’t have to know. For a moment she wondered where the fuck he was? Was this just going to be how their relationship was? He’d disappear for weeks, maybe even months at time then fuck her brains out, at random intervals.
She knew he said he had a problem to take care of but what problem took this long to fix? What did he even do and how would they even get in touch again? She realized he didn’t have her phone number and she also didn’t have his. She supposed he’d just pop up again or she could maybe pop by his place. He hadn’t said she couldn’t come by but it felt weird just showing up. She still didn’t know him all that well and she wasn’t a hundred percent sure where he lived. She’d been there like twice, maybe three times but had always been focused on what they were doing and not really where they were.
She groaned throwing her head back on the couch. She did want to see him again but mostly she wanted to give him back his money. She was getting desperate and was afraid she might spend some of it. She needed to stop fucking around and get a job already, any job would do at this point. She got up and looked through the newspapers she’d gotten. She circled any jobs she thought she could apply for.
Come sunrise, she went to a copy shop and copied the resume she’d typed up at the library, a few dozen times. She got a hot cocoa and chocolate croissant at a cafe, then went to the locations in the newspaper, dropping each resume off. As she went to the various locations and crossed the circles out, she found more newspaper’s and job listings. She saw there was an opening at the firehouse Corrie work at. They needed someone for the front desk, to answer phones and questions from walk-ins. She thought she could do that. She looked at the requirements and thought she qualified.
She was very tempted to apply, maybe Corrie could even put in a good word for her. It would be so wild to work with him and possible get to see him everyday but she wasn’t sure if that would be too much for him. He really liked to keep things casual and separate as much as possible but she knew she could be professional. If she got the job and he wanted things to stay the same between them, she could just pretend not to know him. Maybe they could even make a thing out of it.
She heard of couples pretending to be strangers for a kink, maybe they could do that in their day to day jobs. She almost applied but decided to talk to him about it first, just in case he really didn’t want her to. Sometimes he could be lax about things, while other times he’d get really upset. He could also change his mind on things. He used to say no spending the night but now he did it every so often, more recently. He’d also said no gifts then got her that motorcycle so maybe given she needed a job, he’d ease up on this.
She applied at a few more places but saved some resumes for later. When she got back to her place, her phone was ringing. She rushed to answer it, hoping it would lead to an interview but as soon as she picked up, they just hung up. The next day she got another call while she was eating breakfast. She picked it up but there was no response. She waited then said “Hello? Hello?”
She wondered if they’d hung up but thought she could hear some soft breathing on the other end. She listened to it for a second before she heard a click as they hung up. It was weird but she went about her day. Over the next week she went to the gym and applied for more jobs. One afternoon, after a touch up at the salon, she got back to her place to find Corrie eating a massive sandwich in her kitchen.
He smiled at her when she walked in, then looked at her strangely for a moment. He finished chewing the bite he was on, then asked “You do something different with your hair?
She laughed then said “I told you last time, I did. I’ve been getting it done at a salon.”
“Oh,” he said nodding. “Didn’t notice as much, it was mostly wet and you had it up, last time” he said before taking another bite of his sandwich.
“True I did,” she said.
When he finished chewing, he asked “Also what’s with all the health food in the fridge?”
“Oh that,” she said. She debated if this was the moment she should tell him about Dawson but decided she still wasn’t ready, “I’m trying out a meal plan, they send you pre-made meals, I could lose some weight.”
“Says who,” he said his mouth full with another bite. “You’re perfect.”
“Right,” she said, then leaned in and wiped a bit of mayo off his lip. “You’d say that no matter how I looked.”
“Only cause it’s true. But, I guess since you’re on a diet, you don’t want the sandwich I got you.”
“Are you kidding! I’m fucking starving!” she said. He laughed at her, then nodded to the fridge. “I put it in the fridge for you,”
“Thanks,” she said giving him a quick peck before getting it out. She grabbed herself some water and took a seat at the table. Corrie stared at her for a moment, then gathered his stuff from the kitchen counter and put it on the table, joining her. She nearly ate half her sandwich before asking,“So when you gonna take me riding again?”
“I was thinking today, if you’re up for it but you’re all glitzed up.”
“Give me five minutes, after I eat. I know how to get dirty.” she said with a smile. She finished her sandwich a bit faster then she would have liked, since it was so good then rushed off to her room. She put on a tank top and jeans before sliding into some boots and putting her hair up in a messy bun.
She came back out and he laughed. “I thought you said you know how to get dirty, you just look hotter.”
“Right, we doing this or not?”
“We are but I’m still eating,” he said, “I got you a cookie on the counter if you want to give me a few.”
“Oh, yes! Yes!” she said prancing to it. She grabbed it and took her time with it. She broke it up into little pieces and then only ate half, wanting to save the rest for later. He finished off his sandwhich then got up and kissed her. She locked up and they went downstairs. When they got to her bike, she saw he’d rode his today.
“Oh, I see you rode yours. Does this mean you’re gonna let me ride mine and keep pace?”
“Not yet.” he said getting his helmet on. “We’ll see how you do with today’s training.”
“Right,” she said, “Well, just you wait, once I’ve got my license I’m gonna make you eat my dust.”
“Good luck, if you break the speed limit. You won’t have that bike for long.”
“They’d have to catch me first.”
“If they don’t I would, citizens arrest.” he said rushing up behind her. He lifted her up from behind and swung her around as she screamed out with laughter. After a few seconds he gave her a big squeeze then put her down and smacked her ass. She jumped liking it, she turning around to him and swung her arms around him. For a moment they embraced in a passionate kiss that was quickly threatening to become more.
He pulled away and teased, “Just what do you want to ride today me or the bike?”
“Why not both,” she said giving him smoldering look.
“Okay,” he said, “Which first?”
“Obviously, we’re downstairs.” she said.
He quickly lifted her up into his arms putting a hand at her back and another under her knees. “We could easily be back upstairs.”
“Oh no, no,” she cried. “Bike then you, only one of them might make me sore.”
“Give it time, take some week long road trip and the bike will be just as brutal.” He said putting her down.
“That would be fun, you and me on the open road.”
“Maybe when I got some vacation and you got your license.”
“I look forward to it,” she said.
She went to her bike and opened the seat, getting her helmet out. She put it on as he grabbed his and a sack of things he had on the handle bars of his bike. She was curious what it was but he didn’t show her. He simply put the sack on her bikes handlebars and then got on. She got on behind him and scooted in close before holding on tight. He put on his helmet, secured it and started up the bike. She gave him a good squeeze as he slowly back them out of the parking spot and onto the road.
It was another nice day for a ride. The sun was out but it wasn’t blistering. They went to large vacant parking lot, a dozen or so blocks away. He parked, got off the bike, took his helmet off and began to mess with the contents in his sack. She saw he had small hazard cones and watched him put them down on the cement, making a small obstacle course. Once he was done with the cones he crouched down and began to draw with chalk at various points on the lot. She liked watching him work. He seemed so focused and she wondered what he was doing.
“What are you doing? I thought I was just gonna be driving around cones.”
“I’m also making intersections and stop signs, can’t fit everything in a sack. I want to see if you’ve been studying your manuals. A lot of riding a motorcycle is not just operation but being able to follow the rules of the road.”
“Oh,” she said making a face. She hadn’t really looked at the manual since city hall. “Yeah, I should probably go over them again.”
He shook his head. “I’m a teach you how to ride this thing but you’re in charge of tutoring yourself on road safety.”
“I know, I’ll crack them open as soon as I get home.”
“Do you even know where your manuals are?” he asked finishing up the chalk marks.
“Yes,” she lied.
“Seriously?” He said calling her on it.
“Yessss.” She lied again.
She didn’t exactly know where they were but was sure they were around somewhere. They might be at her place or on her roof. She couldn’t remember if they’d brought everything up to the roof first or stopped at her place with it. She’d have to look when she got home.
He laughed, “You’re such a bad liar,” He reached into his back pockets and pulled out the folded up manuals, “I forgot to leave them at your place.”
“Well, see,” she said crossing her arms. “What are you doing hassling me! How am I am suppose to study when you’ve got it.”
“I’ll give it to you when we get back,”he said putting them back in his pocket.
“Will you?” she said excitedly.
“Yes,” He laughed knowing she meant sex. “But let’s pay attention to this first. We’re going to start you off simple. Just focus on the hazard cones right now. I’ve separated them at a decent distance I just want you to zig zag between them to get use to maneuvering around obstacles.”
“Okay, seems simple enough.”
“Once you get good with that I’ll bring them closer together, similar to what they might be on your test.”
“Oh so this will be on the test?”
“Yeah, it’s one of the things they’ll be looking at. Now whenever you’re ready.”
“Okay.” She said turning on the bike, it purred to life underneath her. She began zigging and zagging, hoping it would be as easy as that first time but she hit a few of the cones. When she got through she looked back at the damage, okay she didn’t hit just a few but most the cones “Well, fuck! Do over.”
He laughed. “You did better then I thought you would, for your first time,” he said setting them back up again. “This time try not to hit the people.”
“Oh are these people, I thought they were obstacles”
“Yeah well obstacles can come in any shape or size. That ones a dog, this ones a mailbox, there’s a man, a woman and child running across the street. A bus.”
“You assigned them all? That is so cute.”
“No but you should think of each cone as a potential collision.”
“Alright, alright, I get you.” She said driving back around she set up once more. She went back through taking things slower this time, so slow she almost stalled out. She could see Corrie was frustrated. He dropped his head and put a hand on his forehead.
“Yeah, you can’t go that slow. You have to go at a decent pace for the bike and flow of traffic. How about I start coming up behind you, pretend I’m another car or bike, I’ll come up at a reasonable pace and you have that long to get around each obstacle.”
“Fuck,” she said. “At the river side I had it, you saw me I was a pro.”
“One good day, doesn't make you a pro, now let’s go.”
She set up again and went through faster but got anxious at how fast he was coming up behind her, by the end she hit more cones then she had the first time.
“WELL FUCK!” she cursed turning back to look at the damage.
“It’s okay?” he asked. “You’re only going to get better.”
“Right,” she said. So much for thinking she had the hang of this. She groaned but said “Let’s go again.”
“Let me finish setting up,” he said. He started setting up the cones again.
She bit her lip then went through the course again and again, around her sixteenth time she made it through unscathed. “Yay, I did it!”
“You did!” he said. He clapped then moved on, “Now, regulation,” he said putting the cones much closer together.
“Oh Right! Fuuuuuuck!” She cried. They weren’t even set up like the test yet. “This might take more then a few sessions.”
“Trust me, it’s going to be easier this time. You know how to maneuver now.”
He gestured for her to go. She went at it, this time he didn’t follow her. She thought she had a feel for the pace now, weaving in an out much faster. It only took her four time to get a perfect run through. He still had her go through another four times just to make sure she got it down. On the last run, he suddenly stepped onto the course. She barely had time to hit the breaks and yelled. “What the fuck are you doing!”
“I’m a random obstacle, one you can’t plan on. Good on the breaks but pay more attention. I saw you starting to drift off again.”
“I wasn’t drifting, I was focused on the cones!”
“Yeah but what about me and that stop sign you just flew past.”
“What?” she said looking around, “There ain’t no stop sign.”
“Now there is. The chalk is now in play, intersections, stop signs, lights, one ways.” She looked down at all his chalk marks.
“So were counting these now.”
“Yes, now you need to watch out for cones and signs. Signal on turns and give yourself time to break for obstacles, all while maintaining your speed.”
“Uhh,” she cried out throwing her head back. It was a lot to keep track of.
He was really going all in on this. She took a deep breath but was determined to go just as hard. She’d take anything he had to throw at her and kick it’s ass. She set up once more then went through another dozen or so times, trying to pay attention to everything and keep her speed consistent. Ever so often, he’d be a dork and try to distract her with sounds androad closures to change things up but she adjusted. She also watched her speed, used her blinkers and hand signals.
After a while Corrie was nodding his head, “Good...good, I think that’s it for today,”
“Really,” she said. She still felt on edge a bit overwhelmed after having to pay so much attention. “This was tougher then I thought. Maybe I do need to keep practicing.”
“I might have gone a bit overboard,” he said, “When it comes to your test and the real thing, you should be almost good to go.”
“Maybe,” she said, “I still wouldn’t mind another session or two with you.”
“Right,” he said, “I’m sure I didn’t annoy the crap out of you.”
“No, not really, you never annoy me” she said with a smile.
“Right,” he said sarcastically but she was being sincere. “Let me clean up and I’ll take you home.”
“I’ll help.” she said.
She parked the bike, took off her helmet and got off the bike. She quickly grabbed a cone and it became a little bit of a competition to see who could grab the most. She was sure he got maybe one or two more then her but he said they tied. They put it all back in the sack and left the chalk marks on the ground, the rain would eventually wash it away. They put on their helmets and he took them back to her place. When he parked she slowly lowered her hands from his waist to his crotch and asked, “You got a second?”
“Maybe,” he said pulling off his helmet. “What’s up?”
“Well as I recall, you were gonna give it to me, when we got back.”
“Mmnnn, right, right” he said. “I suppose I could spent a few minutes.”
“Only a few, please take your time.” she said getting off the bike.
She took off her helmet and shook our her hair. When he got off her bike she put her helmet away in the seat. She watched him put the sack back on his bike’s handlebars and put his own helmet away before they locked eyes.
“After you.” he said.
“Oh no, I insist after you.” she said with a big grin.
“Together then,” he said stepping onto the sidewalk.
She stepped up next to him and they began to walk. They kept eyeing each other, walking slowly at first and then faster. They reached the stairs at the same time and raced up a flight. They collided on the landing and embraced in a passionate kiss that exploded into several dozen kisses. She wrapped her arms around his neck and jumped up on him, wrapping her legs around his waist. He carrying her up the second flight of stairs their lips locked the entire time.
When they got to her door, he pulled from her lips and asked, “You think you can get the door like this?”
“Fuck it, let’s do it on the roof,” she said, not wanting to let go of him.
“Are you crazy?”
“Come on, no ones gonna see.”
“Anyone could come up there!”
“So, we’ll be quick.”
“Right,” he chuckle. “What happened to please take your time.”
“What,” she chuckled back, “When’s the last time we did it somewhere adventurous, fun and dangerous.”
“Oh I can be plenty, fun and even a little dangerous, just not when it’s against the law.”
“Uhh, what’s the point of being dangerous then.”
He pressed her up against her door and she managed to unlocked it. He carried her in and then kicked the door shut behind him. “You still want some fun, maybe even a little dangerous.”
“Yeah,” she said excitedly, “Go wild.”
He set her down and she wondered just what he was up to. He stepped up to her kitchen table and without warning, cleared it in one swoop of his arm, sending everything to the floor. Then he turned grabbed hold of the front of her tank top and ripped it open.
“Shit!” she said surprised.
He put an arm around her waist and pulled her in tightly “Some fun.” he said before he kissed her passionately, then slid down her body and ripped off her jeans and underwear. She knew he was strong, but had no idea just how strong. He grabbed her up then sat her on the kitchen table. He pulling off her shoes and sock, then got between her legs and pushed her to lie back on the table.
With baited breath she asked, “And the dangerous?”
He pulled his shirt off over his head then smirked as he undid his belt, “What do you think will give out first us or the table.”
“Fuck,” she said as he pulled himself out. He placed himself at her entrance and leaned down, kissing her.
She could hear the table squeak like mad as he drove into her. She cried out feeling every inch of him. She ran her fingers through his hair and then down his arms and back as he gave her big long, powerful thrusts just like she liked. Each time his body collided into hers, it made the sweet smacking sound of sex. It fill the room. She loved that sound, loved his bodies colliding into hers again and again and again, harder each time. After a second she could hear the table as it scooted across the floor, to each of his thrusts.
Her back flat on the table, she began to thrust her hips up to meet him. The table rattled wobbled and creaked. She felt her heart racing as she wondered, what would happen if it broke. Would he catch her, let her fall or would they fall together. She spread her legs wider, wanting to feel him deeper inside her.
“Uh, fuck, fuck my pussy up!” she cried feeling a slow ebbing heat. It rose up as a sharp pain tore a wave of pleasure through her and cascaded over the rest of her body as she came. She flung her legs around him clinging to him. He could feel it, feel her cumming, her muscles baring down on him.
He let out a deep groan that rattled through him as she kept crying out in his ear “Oh fuck, fuck, fuck!”
He drove her into the table and it let out a deep screeching sounds as it slid across the floor that much more. She dragged her finger tips across his back as he kept slamming into her. Soon enough, she began to squeeze him as her muscles started pumping out a second orgasm.
It nearly sent him over the edge.“Damn Gwyne!” He cried enjoying her mighty pull.
She continued to cling to him and wildly thrust her hips up to meet his as she cried out. “Don’t stop! Don’t ever stop! Uh uhh!
He stared down at her, seeing her lost in her euphoria. He loved that he could drive her into such a frenzy. He wanted to keep going and repositioned himself to prolong their pleasure.
She called out again, “Don’t stop! UH DON’T STOP!,”
He chuckled and responded “Not planning on it.”
He pulled back and then slammed into her the table, it shook and screeched loudly in protest. She was reminded of him telling her he’d played football in his younger years. She felt like he was tackling her pussy now, driving her into orgasm. As a third one cascaded through her, he leaned forward and took her nipples into his mouth one at a time. He got them wet, lapping one and then the other with his tongue. Then he gently pulled on the rings with his lips. She cried out enjoying the pressure of each tug before he covered her nipple with his mouth and began to suck.
She cried out, clinging to each of his powerful thrusts as he just kept sucking her nipples and fucking her into overdrive. A fourth orgasm would soon be upon her but suddenly she felt the table shift and make a cracking sound as it finally gave way and went off to the side. It would seem it’s support had finally snapped to their love making. He lifted her up into the air and they both laughed knowing they had broken her table.
It wasn’t a family heirloom or anything, she had gotten it and the chairs on the side of the road, a few years ago. Corrie had actually helped her get it. Now he protected her from it’s fall, standing up with her still in his arms, her legs, tightly braced around him. He playfully spun them around the room until he got to her bed and collapsed on his back, putting her now on top.
Her bed frame violently rattled from the weight of both of them plopping down. They paused for a moment wondering if it would break too. When it didn’t they both continued to laugh. Then she leaned down and kissed him, it was a soft gentle kiss before she took over. She threw her head back and let her hair out of her bun. She let it cascade around her, then began to slowly ride him. She rolled her hips, rising up as she leaned forward and then sunk down as she fell back, only to rise up once more, beginning all over again.
He ran his hands over her hips, breasts and hair, wanting to touch all of her. The light pouring in through the windows, outlined her shape almost to where she had a slight glow to her. She looked amazing and for a moment she took his breath away. He could feel her move against him and he soon caught hold of his breath, once more letting out soft gentle moans. He was mesmerized by her movements and her hold on him.
She knew exactly what she was doing and gave him a sultry look before she leaned back, arching her back until her breasts were just mountain peaks, glistening in the afternoon sun, her nipple rings reflecting light against the walls of her studio. He ran his hands over her breast squeezing them and kneading them in his hands. He moved to her ribs and then her waist, he could tell it had changed ever so slightly. She had more of a curve to her now and the beginning of abs.
She slowly lifted herself back up, to sit up straight on him and gave him a few good squeezes with her kegels as she smiled down at him. He smiled back, reaching up to touch her face. He gently brushed her cheek with his thumb and the inside of his hand. She moved taking his thumb in her mouth and sucked on it as he felt her muscles squeeze him even more.
She playfully gave him three good squeezes, in unison with sucking his thumb then let it out of her mouth. She picked up her pace and leaned forward, her hair fell down around them and onto his chest. She began to lift herself and bounced on him. She’d do a slow grind then a few good bounces followed by some more hip rolls. He let out such groans and moans as she nearly took him all the way, only to ease up and let him fall back down. A few times she lift herself almost all the way off him then plopped back down on him.
Her ran his hands over her breasts and pulled at her nipple rings, twisting them slightly. She let out an erotic moan of her own and fucked him harder. He wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take. She began to swirl her hips and did some of her old belly dancer moves, moving her stomach muscles. She could feel her clit ring move about and enjoyed the sensation as her fourth orgasm finally arrived.
She just let the pleasure wash over her as she continued to rise and sink. She could tell he was dangerously close to cumming. If she wasn’t careful she’d send him over the edge but like him she wanted to prolong their enjoyment of one another. She repositioned herself so she wasn’t bearing down on him so completely, then reached out to him. He offered out his hands as support and they intertwined their fingers. She moved slower, softer, taking his girth deep within her and holding it for a time before continuing her slow methodical movements.
For a moment the world faded around them and they were the only ones in existence. They stared at one another, locking gazes and their hearts aligned in their loving embrace. She leaned forward and kissed him ever so softly on the lips, this time it was a slow seductive kiss that had them both lingering on each others lips for nearly a minute. When she pulled away, he just looked up at her, with such loving eyes. She felt they said what he could not “I love you.”
She swallowed wishing he would say it just once, then she could say it aloud as she longed to countless times. She waited for a moment but then eventually like him only said it with her eyes. She leaned down and touched her forehead to his. They both closed their eyes feeling some deep connection. It really was on a whole other level. She never felt this way for anyone and almost didn’t want to pull away.
When she eventually did, Corrie had this soft smile on his lips soft. It was knowing like he knew some great secret of the universe. Sometimes she wished she could read his mind and know what he was thinking. In a moment like this she’d loved to know how he truly felt about her. She slowed to an almost stop after a few seconds and he ran his hands up her sides and teased “Hey now, you have to keep a steady pace or you’ll stall out,” As if he were her motorcycle.
“Oh right,” she said softly playing along, “We wouldn’t want that.” She pulled back and pulled up slightly. She turned herself around on his dick getting into a reverse cowgirl without getting off and he chuckled “Hey you didn’t use your blinker, that’s an illegal turn”
“No you can turn right on red.” she hissed then began to grind him.
“You still have to use yah...ah use a blinker,” He groaned. She could tell it was a struggle for him to talk, given how she was moving her hips.
She chuckled to herself thinking they were such dorks. He held her waist and she picked up her pace ready to take them all the way now. She rode him good and hard and it hit different. They’d already been so close that it wasn’t long before they came crashed against one another. She leaned forward as her orgasms plowed through her and froze for a minute. She let it wash over her letting out a long deep moan as Corrie hit his own climax.
She could feel him pulse and twitch, releasing inside her. She jerked slightly as she continued to ride her wave and his release. Her mind got a little foggy for a second recalling a pool of slime? Flashing lights? Grass, with a white picket fence and a barn yard? She held her head unsure of where this was all coming from. She vaguely recalled that nightmare she’d had the other night. She found it strange to be thinking of it at a time like this.
Corrie let out a satisfying moan and she pulled from her thoughts. She pushed the nightmare and everything else to the back of her mind, not wanting it to ruin this moment. After a few minutes, she sat up then pulled herself off him, some of his cum spilled out as she moved to lay beside him. She rested in the crook of his arm and for a moment, they just basked in their gratification.
They both nearly fell asleep and it would have been better if they had but her phone suddenly rang. Neither of them bothered to get it, letting her machine pick it up. Again no one spoke, there was just a long moment of silence, some rustling, clicking then breathing before they hung up.
“That was weird,” said Corrie before he yawned.
“Probably Tawnie or a wrong number,” said Gwyne. She yawned herself then snuggled up to him more.
He ran his hand over her body then asked.“So how was that for fun and dangerous?”
“Ehhh not bad, not bad. But I still would have liked to see your bare but on the roof or ooo the fire escape. That would have been an adventure.”
“Not really. You’re not suppose to play around on them. They’re for emergency purposes only.”
“Don’t you ever just want to mess around and push the limits.”
“I do, trust me, I do but I choose my moments.”
“Right and just what moment would get you but ass naked outside?”
“Mmmm, we did go camping last year or was it the year before that?”
“Oh right,” she said recalling. “The fishing trip. The year before I think”
She watched a smile dance across his lips. “As I recall, there wasn’t much fishing going on. I don’t mind being but ass naked in the woods. Not too many people poking around there, especially in the middle of the night.”
“There could have been bears watching?” she teased. He chuckled and she ran her hand over his chest, “It’s cute you’re so shy.”
“I’m not shy, trust me.” he said. “I just know everybody doesn’t need to see my ass flapping in the wind.”
“No, you’ve got a great ass.”
“Right, humor me.” he chuckled.
“No, I’m serious! I’m sure people love seeing it when you carry them over your shoulder. I know I do.”
“Oh well maybe I’ll have to do it more often.”
“Oh yes, please, lug me around any day of the week, I’m yours to do with as you please.”
He chuckle, “Is that why you’re with me because I can carry your ass around. Is that the secret?”
“No secret,” she said.“You’re just that amazing.”
“Must be to have someone like you.”
“Right,” she said. She blushed a bit, sometimes when he said that shit, she almost believed him. “You staying the night?”
“Nah, probably should head out pretty soon. Got a shift tonight.”
“Mmm…” she said. “You ever replace that one guy who didn’t make it?”
“Yeah new guys doing pretty good so far, we’re putting him through the rounds but he’s holding his own. How about you, you find a job yet?”
“Funny you should mention that,” she said, “I wanted to ask you something.”
“Shoot.” he said
“You still work for engine 343, up near Post Street, right?”
“Yeah, surprised you remember.”
“Yeah well, the other day I saw they had an opening for someone to work the front desk or something, I guess.”
“Oh, yeah, we usually have one of the crew, man the front desk, but sometimes we’re out on a call or there are certain things that need to get done around the station. They got some extra funding this year and want to have someone at the front desk permanently. Mostly to take non-emergent messages, walk ins and the occasional drop offs.”
“Drop offs?
“Yeah from time to time we get people surrendering newborns.”
“Oh right, never really think about that aspect of a fire station.”
“Yeah, it’s not as common but when we’re not handling fires, we pretty much help around the community where ever we can. Helped a guy with a grill the other day. Didn’t know how to properly set up the tank. Came back later and thanked us with hamburgers, not a bad day’s work.”
“Right,” she said. She bit her lip, not wanting to get too far off topic but she was still a bit nervous about what his response might be. He seemed like he was in a good mood but things could always go either way. “Well, uh what would you think of me applying and possibly working there?”
He paused and she tired to gauge his reaction. After a second he seeming confused. “What?”
“Yeah, I mean like, I need a job and it’s a job. I could apply and maybe you could put in a good word for me or not. I mean I might not get it bu-”
“This shouldn’t even be a question, Gwyne.” said Corrie. He pulled from her and sat up looking upset “You know how I feel about this. I’ve made myself more then clear. I want to keep this, us, separate from everything else. No strings, no connections, just casual, we’re already pushing it as is.”
“I know, I know, how you feel but hear me out.” She sat up and turned to him sitting on her knees, “Like I can be super professional. You totally don’t have to put in a good word for me, at all. We can… can compartmentalize! Like when we’re together, we’re together and when we’re working, we’re working. We’d just act like we don’t know each other. It would just be a job.”
“Compartmentalize? That’s bullshit! I’m not going to pretend I don’t know you. I don’t want you there, period. This isn’t just a job to me Gwyne. It’s my life. I don’t want you knowing what I’m up to and where I go.”
“You mean you don’t want me to know if something happens to you, right? Like heaven forbid one of the crew, find out you’re with someone and tells me, right? Or maybe I hear it over the radio, notice your firetruck not coming back, when you fucking die.” He got up and started to get dressed, shaking his head.
Things... had kind of exploded. She was only asking about the job but now all this other stuff, she’d sort of been bottling up, started unexpectedly spilling out. She was just so frustrated, tired of always reaching out and him shutting her down.“FUCK CORRIE! I’m so sick of this! I know you made a choice but you don’t think I watch the news or read the paper.”
“Don’t,” he said before putting on his shirt, “I told you, if this is gonna work-”
“IF THIS IS GONNA WORK! Who are we kidding?” said Gwyne getting out of bed. “THIS WORKS AND YOU KNOW IT! It’s been three years Corrie! THREE YEARS we’ve been together. Let’s stop pretending and admit what this is, A RELATIONSHIP! GIVE IT! US! A CHANCE! A REAL CHANCE FOR ONCE!” She let out an exasperated sigh, “I want to be with you not just some of the time but all the time and I know you want to be with me. We’re not your parents! You’re not your dad and I’m not your mom. Things don’t have to end up the same way. Even then, I’d rather be a widow then someone who never really knows where they stand.”
“FUCK GWYNE!” shouted Corrie giving her a look, like she was insane.
She probably was, she knew she was pushing it, especially with that last remark but these were things that needed to be said. He’d been showing up less and less these days and then changing up the rules all of a sudden. It felt like he wanted more but then he didn’t. Maybe he was just scared to let someone in?
She reached out to him, grasping hold of his arm and desperately sputtered “What I’m saying, is you don’t have to be afraid- ”
His eyes got big then and he jerked his arm from her, “AFRAID! I’m not afraid of anything! I run into burning buildings for a living, Gwyne!”
“There are different kinds of fears, Corrie. You are afraid, afraid of get attached to anyone after so much lose. Trust me I understand but think about it, it’s easier for you to run into a burning building, then to be in a committed relationship with the woman you love.”
Their eyes locked and he had this expression on his face. She wasn’t quiet sure what it was, never having seen it before. “I DON’T LOVE YOU GWYNE!” he shouted. His voice, his words, hit her like a hundreds of arrows to the heart. She’d told herself a million times he didn’t feel the same way. He did not love her, she knew that...totally but yet...she also hadn’t wanted to believe it was true. A part of her, had always hoped and he...he hadn’t ever said it out right, not to her face. “I’VE NEVER SAID I DID! FROM THE VERY START, I MADE IT CLEAR WHAT THIS WAS! I’M TIRED OF GOING OVER IT WITH YOU! TIRED OF YOU ALWAYS PUSHING THINGS MORE AND MORE! I THOUGHT YOU OF ALL PEOPLE WOULD UNDERSTAND!”
“What does that mean?” she said confused. Her chest felt like it was going to explode as her eyes filled with tears.
“IF YOU DON’T GET IT! CAN’T HANDLE THIS ANYMORE THEN YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE HERE! YOU CAN LEAVE AT ANY TIME. IF YOU WANT I’LL LEAVE RIGHT NOW AND NEVER COME BACK!”
She knew he was upset but so was she. She was hurt and angry as he gathered up his things. It had been three years and nothing had changed...nothing every would, she lashed out without thinking, shouting. “PROMISE!”
Corrie had his back to her, he turned slightly and paused, they both paused and there was silence...such deafening silence. After a moment he shook his head again and said, “Yeah, yeah, this was a mistake.”
This was a mistake! They were a mistake! Gwyne’s heart dropped at his words. Things had gotten way out of control. Just a few minutes ago things had been okay and now they were fighting. They’d fought before yelled even but something in his tone, felt like this was different from all the other times. She couldn’t see his face, couldn’t see if he was serious or not. He was heading for the door. He was leaving! HE WAS LEAVING! He couldn’t leave, not like this!
“WAIT!” she cried reaching out to him once again. Her anger quickly turning to fear. “I DIDN’T MEAN IT! I’M JUST UPSET! IT’S BEEN HARD TRYING TO FIND A JOB AND I FEEL LIKE I BARELY SEE YOU ANYMORE. YOU’RE ALWAYS SO BUSY AND I WASN’T THINKING. I’M SORRY. I WONT APPLY FOR THE JOB. I’LL STEP BACK! I’ll STOP PUSHING! I’ll BE BETTER, I SWEAR. I JUST WANT TO BE WITH YOU. PLEASE I LOVE YOU!”
FUCK! FUCK! She froze shocked she’d said it aloud. She pulled her hand back covering her mouth. It had just rolled off her tongue, I love you…I love you...I love you. She’d said it countless times in her head and heart but never...never aloud. It wasn’t suppose to happen, not like this. Gwyne choked on her tears feeling gutted, she swore she’d never tell another person she truly loved him, not until he said it first and she was certain he loved her back.
She’d sworn it, sworn so it wouldn’t happen again. Flash backs of her first boyfriend crossed her mind. She couldn’t even bring herself to think his name, it still hurt so bad. She had told him she loved him and he’d called her a gross slut. Next time-
Gwyne pulled from her thoughts as Corrie opened to the door. He didn’t say anything he just kept going! She’d told him she loved him and he just kept going. He didn’t pause or look back or even bother to shut the door behind him. He just kept going.
“COME BACK PLEASE!” she screamed from insider her apartment. Her voice, sounded so...so pathetic. She was pathetic but she didn’t care. She ran out into the hall and he was already at the stairs. “PLEASE DON’T! I’M SORRY, I GOT STUPID! PLEASE! PLEASE!”She ran to the stairs but he practically flew down them, he was already at the bottom rushing to his bike. He didn’t bother with his helmet he just got on as she cried out from the top of the stairs, “CORRIE! CORRIE! COME BACK!”
Again he didn’t stop, he started his bike and drove off. She watched him for as long as she could then stumbled back, when she could no longer see him. She didn’t care that she was naked. She sunk down on the cement hallway and balled her eyes out. It wasn’t, this couldn’t be... it wasn’t suppose to end, not like this.
She was so stupid! What did she think was gonna happen bringing up that job? She knew how he felt and yet she’d pushed it. And why the fuck had she said all that other shit! Yet again she knew better, but still she’d let it all come pouring out and ruined things like she always did. She’d fucking said she loved him, right after he made it clear, he didn’t love her. HOW FUCKED UP WAS SHE!
Why did she have to be so fucking stupid! Why did she always have to push. He didn’t love her. Corrie didn’t love her, never had and never would. She ran her hands over her face letting it sink in. She loved him andwanted to be with him but he didn’t feel the same way. Of course, of course she knew all that! SHE KNEW ALL THAT!
She cried nearly hysterical, after all who could love a gross nothing slut like her. She wasn’t worth anything. She was so fucking stupid! She was always reaching out and throwing herself at people but no one ever her love her. She hated it! She hated herself for being so weak and needy. Mistake! This was a mistake. She replayed Corrie’s words in her head. It wasn’t the first time she’d been told something was a mistake. Her own father had told her she was a mistake. Fuck her life...her love, her entire existence was just on big mistake.
Somehow she he manage to get herself up. She didn’t care who had seen or heard her. How she must look running out of her apartment naked and hysterical. She went back inside. She didn’t even bother shutting the door, leaving it wide open. She sat down on a chair next to her broken table still in disbelief at what had just happened. This couldn’t be it. This couldn’t be it!
She kept looking at the door, waiting...hoping for him to come back but he didn’t. The sun set and it began to get dark outside, eventually she stood up and slammed the door shut. Her chest ached as she felt like she was slamming her heart shut. It was her fault, he had made things clear, had always made things clear. She was the one who’d messed up.
She went to her bathroom and got into the shower, turning on the cold water. She let it wash over her, wishing it would freeze her heart. She wished she could just rip it out and throw it away. She didn’t need it or want it anymore, all it ever did was get her into trouble and cause such hurt. She could take physical pain but when it came to the hurt from her heart...it was the too much for her to bear. To her it was the worst pain…
She broke down again madly sobbing and holding herself. She wasn’t sure how long she was in there. When she got out she was shivering. She looked at herself, her body in the mirror. It was grotesque, she was grotesque, even at a time like this, she could still think about fucking...getting fucked up. She needed it like some drug addict. She wanted to just go wild, on a sex bender, lose herself in that sex club Dawson had taken her to... become one of those glory holes gals. She bet they felt nothing but pleasure, there was no pain to be had just endless cock. Endless ecstasy until they were-
Her phone suddenly rang snapping her out of her thoughts. She turned from her reflection in the mirror and rushed to answer it but just as she did, it hung up. She wondered if it was Corrie calling. Maybe he’d stopped at a payphone and just wanted to what...what? SERIOUSLY! Who was she kidding? He wasn’t going to call! He wasn’t going to come back...not this time. IT WAS OVER! THEY WERE FUCKING OVER! Still she held a hand to her mouth and waited by the phone but it didn’t ring again.
Eventually she returned to her bed and curled up in the spot he’d been. She held onto the pillow he’d rested his head on and waited until she fell asleep. Come the next morning she canceled going to the gym. She pretended not to be home when Mr. Charles came by. Every time the phone rang, she answered it like an idiot but no one was ever on the other end. She kept thinking it was Corrie, no matter what she told herself, she kept hoping it was him. That he’d had some time to think and just couldn’t say what he wanted to. She knew things were hard for him…
The night his best friend died, he’d drunkenly admitted he couldn’t let anyone in cause he couldn’t lose anyone else. He couldn’t afford to get hurt anymore. She knew how that felt and understood it fully. They’d both had troubled childhoods, lost both their parents and been through a lot. His outlook on life was bleak while she still held out hope. He kept everyone at arms length, while she threw herself at everyone.
He….he put everything he had into being something, helping someone because he couldn’t help himself. He hated feeling powerless and worthless, hated that he couldn’t save the ones he loved. He never wanted to love anyone again and thought if he’d just shut down completely, then nothing and no one could ever hurt him again.
That night, so long ago he’d broken down in her arms, had fully opened up to her and she to him. That was how love was suppose to work right? Letting someone in and loving them despite everything. She hadn’t told him everything but he’d seen things, knew things she hadn’t showed just anyone. He’d understood hers sometimes more then herself. He could see she used sex as a weapon but also a defense...a buffer of sorts, it kept her from making any real connections.
She curled up crying herself to sleep more then once over the next few days. She barely ate or got out of bed. She just watched the rain as a storm hit. When she managed to get some sleep, her dreams were troubled. She kept searching Corrie out but couldn’t find him...she’d kept calling his name only it was different name. When she’d wake up the dreams would fade away.
Finally after a week she started getting up, started shuffling around her apartment. She called Mr. Charles and told him she was taking more time off. She showered, ate and watch TV. She knew there were a million things she should be doing...like finding a job but she was just too depressed. She stopped picking up the phone letting it go to voice mail. She didn’t think she could handle picking up to anymore hang ups. Every time it gave her hope and she needed to give up.
Over the next few days her phone kept almost every hour but it always hung up. She began to wonder what was going on...just who was calling her all the fucking time. If it wasn’t Corrie then who was it and why did they keep hanging up?
Almost two weeks later, she got a call late in the afternoon, her machine picked up and someone was actually on the line for once. “HEY! HEY! GIRLIE GUESS WHO’S BACK IN TOWN!”
“TAWNIE!” Gwyne cried. She got up from her couch and scrambled to get the phone, “Tawnie” she choked.
“Hey Gwyne! You okay?” she asked noticing the tone of Gwyne voice from just saying her name.
“Yeah,” she lied, trying to hide it, “What’s up?”
“You want to go out tonight and get fucked up or what?”
“Actually I’m-” She paused standing there for a moment. What was she waiting on? What reason did she have to stay here? He might be back but this...THIS...was why things had fallen apart between them. She couldn’t be waiting on him anymore. She needed to get over this, over her love for him. Whether he came back into her life or not. She needed to not care about him or anyone anymore, then she’d never feel like this, never get hurt like this again.
“Come on girl, no excuses, I’m back, we gotta celebrate.”
“Okay,” Gwyne said nodding to herself. She’d go out and purge this heartache from her system.
“Alight, alright I’ll be over soon.”
“Okay,” said Gwyne. She hung up thinking she couldn’t get here soon enough.
Thank you for Reading^^ |
