I turned my back to the counter and leaned up against it. I don't know what I was expecting. What, if anything, Casey could really do. Neither of them were awake yet. I suppose I hoped Casey could reason with Becket and ultimately make him stay away but when had words every detoured him.
I let our a heavy sigh, recalling countless times 'Becket' had seen me in other lives and it didn't matter what else was going on. He would have me. I ran my hand over the back of my neck as the hairs stood up. This...right here wasn't doing me any good. I was overthinking and worrying about things I couldn't control.
I suppose I should be working but how could anyone work, with this much going on, was beyond me. Still I tried to busy myself. I found some boxes that needed to be broken down. I started, however it made too much noise and I stopped after the third one. I needed to stay alert and listen for any signs that things had gone south, like shouting or fighting.
I really hoped they didn't fight. What would I even do? It's not like I could stop them on my own. I half worried one of them might come crashing through the store window, any second. I looked but didn't see anything. It was all just so quiet and the store felt so strange...eerie somehow. None of it was helping my nerves.
I realized they'd been out there for a good while, long after I should have had lunch. I was kind of hungry but I wasn't sure if I could actually eat. Sometimes when I was really wound up I'd take a bite or two and then just feel sick.
After a few minutes I worried something might have happened. What if they left and didn't come back. I wouldn't mind Becket gone but Casey... What if Becket kidnapped Casey? He usually kidnapped me but I recalled it had happening before. How would I find him? He could take him anywhere.
I bit my lip and started straightening some things over by the big window. I would just check for a second...just to see if they were still out there. I could see Becket has his back to the building and Casey was still talking to him with his arms crossed. I saw him glance over at the window every so often...as if to make sure I wasn't spying on them. I bit my lip and kept watching. I wish I could read lips or hear what they were saying. A second later I was spotted! Casey didn't stop talking but took a step to the side and I couldn't see him anymore.
I wondered what they could possibly be talking about for so long. Knowing Casey he was probably telling him I had issues or was sensitive or something. He probably just asked Becket to be understanding and stay away. That took what? A minute. maybe ten if he got detailed but they'd been out there way longer. I worried about prolonged contact. I knew that could sometimes trigger an awakening. What if they both work up right now? What if they weren't talking but threatening each other. What if they were deciding on another place and time to meet up and destroy each other. I really didn't want things to come to that.
I had seen them fight to the death more then once. I recalled one time I was being held back on some mountain by one of Becket's men. Casey and Becket were going at each other with knives. Casey was stronger but Becket was feisty. The two kept going until they bled out in the snow. I was killed right after them. I think if Casey had won I would have been killed as well however if Becket had won then I would have survived...but I wouldn't have wanted to.
I really didn't want them to kill each other in this life. Couldn't we just find a way to co-exist. I think there were a few lifetimes where we manged some peace but nothing lasts forever. Perhaps...we could come to some understanding. I didn't know. Sometimes I felt I knew too much while other times I felt I knew so little
I let out a heavy sigh as I wandered around the store. I looked everything over once more then played with the radio. Nothing good was on so I put on some calming, mood, music, we sold at the store. I went back to the front counter and turned my back to it, leaning up against it once more as I rubbed my chin. I thought over what had happened before they had stepped outside. Casey really hadn't thought Becket was real or more accurately that the guy I was talking about was actually real. I could see it on his face, the confusion mixed with surprised. He knew now that he was realer then real and his name was Becker Rouse.
I realized I could have just looked him up this entire time. I didn't want anything to do with him but maybe we could have been better prepared...kept an eye on him. I think Casey had a year book from that year. He'd worked there for two years from what he told me. At some point he transferred and changed school.
I don't know a lot bout that time. Casey used to tell me about his day but little things. He didn't really talk about the big things, like I barely knew his long time girlfriend's name, Synthia Tellblit or Telblat. We ran into her once since we got back. She heard Casey was in the city and she was married now with a kid on the way. I think she wanted him to see what he missed out on.
She didn't recognized me at first, then when she did, I don't think she was happy to see me with him. I don't think she thought we were 'together' or she definitely would have lost her mind. She probably thought I was still just his charity case. We were on our way to see a movie and were 'polite.' She asked what he'd been up to and he just said not much. She showed him her ring and baby bump and it was just... weird.
While we were waiting for the movie to begin I asked him if he had any regrets and he said he did. He shouldn't have gotten a large soda. He was going to need to use the bathroom during the movie. He deflected, sometimes he could do that. He'd crack jokes, act like he didn't hear me or change the topic all together. When we moved in together I noticed a box with some old photos. I was curious but I didn't pry. I loved him and if he wanted me to know something he'd tell me when he was ready.
I looked at the time and let out a heavy sigh. Honestly how long did it take to tell someone to get lost. We should have just taken off first thing this morning, moved to a remote underground bunker or some ice mine, in the middle of nowhere. Fuck get off the planet... if we could. Ehh, I knew it wouldn't have mattered he would have found us, he always did. It was only a matter of time.
I felt sicker by the second. I just wanted to collapse but I held my ground waiting for him to return. The door opened and I rushed to it, only to see a customer had come in. Right, again I was working. She picked out several odd bits and ends, along with some decorations and party supplies. My hands were trembling as I wrapped some of it and bagged the rest. I think she felt sorry for me, because she left a big tip in my jar on the counter.
She left and I tried to look outside but couldn't see either of them. I felt sick again. It had been six years but I still felt like that girl in the hallway who had slit her throat, at the first sight of danger. I wanted to believe I'd grown... matured. I had my certification now but it was clear I still had a long way to go. I felt almost like I was standing still while they were both becoming something.
Becket had grown up. I hadn't recognized him at first, he seemed successful enough, at least, he dressed like a business man. Then again he was almost always financially successful. He did everything to the max and was ruthless. It was easy to make money when you were the smartest one in the room and you didn't care who you hurt.
Casey was working as a teacher at a vocational school. It was pretty new and they let him write the program, he was teaching. He was also on the school's board. He got to decide what students they let in. He was saving for the down payment on a house, some place with a lot of land and a two or three car garage, so he could have his own auto shop for some of his dream builds. There were a lot of cars he'd like to work on if he had the money and time. If things kept going the way they were, he could have several customer cars in his garage by the time he was forty. Of course, I didn't know if I'd be around. He didn't like making long term plans with me. He just wanted to take things slow. I know he was waiting for me to realize that I was still young and had better opportunities out there. I might be young and I might not know everything I wanted, right now, but I knew who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
A few weeks ago we got into it. We were laying in bed and he said someday he was going to be forty and I'd only be thirty and he'd be fifty when I'd be forty and he'd be sixty when I was fifty. By the time he was seventy I'd still only be sixty. Ten years was too large of an age gap. I knew we'd had bigger ones in the past, on both sides.
I spat back with some numbers of my own. I told him when he was forty I would still love him. When he was fifty I would love him even more. At sixty I'd just adore him and if we made it to seventy and beyond I'd be grateful to have spent my life, with the person I loved.
He had tightened his jaw at that and gotten this far off look in his eyes. I don't know what he was thinking but I knew he was always worried about my best interest. I told him if he didn't love me and he really wanted me to go, I would. I wouldn't be heartbroken. I mean I would be but like he told me, when you knew something didn't work...it was better to get out then stay in a relationship you knew was wrong.
If he really thought we'd be better off apart, I'd always love him but I'd respect he had choices...options too. I knew he'd leave me, if he I thought I was better off without him, but in the same breath I also knew he'd stay in a bad situation because he loved me. I really hoped I'd always be able to tell how he truly felt. I glanced at the time, then put my head in my hands. He was still not back! This was quickly becoming a situation. I needed to start doing something! I couldn't just wait here forever.
The bell on the door rang and I didn't even bother looking, knowing it was probably another customer. I dragged my hands over my face, then crossed my arms trying to think.
"So you decide what you want to do for lunch?" asked Casey.
I whirled around and practically leapt over the counter, "How did it go! TELL ME EVERYTHING!"
He chuckled then shook his head as I embraced him, "It went fine, it wasn't a problem. He wont be coming back."
"What did you say to him? Did you...tell him about everything?"
"What that you think he's after you? No!" He scoffed. "I just said you were trying to put your past behind you and anything to do with Henderson and that day, is a touchy subject for you. I asked that he not come around and he perfectly understood and left."
I had a feeling there was more to it then that. "So that's all you said?"
"Abouts," he said pulling away.
He stretched as I pointed out, "You were out there for an eternity."
"Oh, well we did talk about other things."
"Like?"
"Life, he's going to college around her, something for computers. And he wanted to know how I'd been."
"What did you tell him? Anything you said, he could use to-"
"To what? He interrupted raising an eyebrow. "I just told him I moved back to the city and I was working at the vocational school down the street. I talked about some programs we had going on and mentioned I'm saving up for my own place and garage maybe, then we talked about a few cars. I didn't tell him anything about you, other then what I already told you."
It hadn't occurred to me they could be talking about other things but I suppose that made sense. They weren't freaks like me who was hyper focused on eternal doom. I let out a heavy sigh, thinking maybe I needed to get a life or something.
He came up behind me and put his arms around me, squeezing me in a hug. I put the heels of my feet on top of his and we walked around a few steps, with me standing on his feet. See." he said in my ear. All taken care of. You should really trust me more."
"Oh I trust you just find I said. It's him that I don't."
"Well he is no longer a problem. Now lunch."
"We didn't pack anything." I said. "Forgot with everything going on. I think I might have some cheese crackers around here somewhere."
"How about pizza?
"Pizza sounds good!" I said turning in his arms to face him. "But we ate out the other day. And we had that party. You can't keep spending your money if your gonna get a place."
"So you buy. I see you got some tips." he said nodding to the jar.
"Okay." I said.
"Get two pizzas." he said. "And maybe a side or two, since we skipped breakfast. If we don't finish it off this afternoon, we can have it for dinner."
"Ah so a pizza day!"
"Pizza day sounds nice."
"Okay." I said. I looked up the place we liked then put in the order. They were going to take anywhere from half an hour forty-five minutes. Which sucked, cause I was really hungry now. After I hung up the phone he went back to his chair next to the counter and started reading this morning's paper again.
"So that really is all you talked about?"
"Yep." he said turning a page.
"Seriously, I wont be able to let it go."
He let out a heavy sigh. "Fine you want exact details. I took him outside. Told him you had issues with Henderson and it was a dark time in your life and if he could just not come around."
"I suppose he knows."
Casey lifted his head "Didn't he already know, wasn't he in the hall?"
"Yeah but he knows I lied about it now."
"When did you lie?"
"When he came in yesterday," I said rubbing my arm as I looked out the window. "He said I looked familiar and asked if I had ever gone to Henderson and I lied."
"Why?"
"Well… I only went for a day and honestly I don't know I lied I just...I was hoping he didn't recognize me."
"Ah okay, I understand not wanting to revisit it but can you also see, why he might have been a little curious, that's not exactly a thing you' forget."
I bit my lip as my stomach grumbled. "Did he...Did he ask why I did it?"
"Not in so many words. He just said 'I thought that was her."
"Really that it. 'I thought that was her."
"What more is there to say? It was kind of a big deal for a while."
"Probably still is with kids and rumors." I added
"Rumors are just rumors" He said going back to his paper. "No one knows it's you and you don't have to let it define you."
"But it does," I said rubbing the collar of my turtle neck.
"Only because you let it."
"Did he say why he was coming, like why he was here?"
"Like did he say, he was here to get you!" He snapped sarcastically.
"No," I said but he and I both knew that is what I totally meant. Was he in fact here to get me...subconsciously.
"No," he said. "He had to get a gift for a friend who was graduating. Recognized you in passing and was just curious."
"Curious."
"Yeah I told him your doing better now. You just got some old hangups, don't come back here, et cetera."
"Right," So he had told him more then he first said but I didn't say anything.
"Right," he sighed. "I took care of it, so drop it."
I wanted to believe Casey but again I had feeling he'd be back. The way he'd just walked up to me this time. "Oh wait, I'll let it go but one more thing. He said he wanted to take me to lunch or dinner, to talk. Did he say why?"
"He didn't mention it," he said, flipping the page, "But he probably just wanted the answers I gave him."
"Probably," I said.
"Not everything is a big mystery, Nona."
"I know." I sighed.
I closed my eyes and never hoped I was more wrong. Maybe just maybe, he wouldn't wake up and could stay away 'this time.' The pizza soon arrived, earlier then expected and we ate slowly. At one point a delivery driver came in, as I was signing for the package, he asked if he could have a slice. We each gave him one and he thanked us before leaving. We had a few more slices then I put what was left in the fridge.
The rest of the afternoon was okay...uneventful. One or two regulars came in along with two more deliveries. When it was time to close, I went through my checklist and locked everything up. We walked home holding hands then finished cleaning up from yesterday. He watered the lawn while I opened up a new puzzle. We watched something on TV and had the rest of the pizza and some food left over from the party. After dishes, we drew a bath and got some beers.
When the tub was filled, he got in and I followed shortly after. We had to drain some of the water but I was able to sit between his legs and rest my back against his chest. I liked bathing together, it was especially nice, after a day like today. For several minutes we just drank out beer and relaxed.
After a while I let out a pleasant sigh and said "This, this right here, was the reason I insisted we rent this place."
"Hmm," he said before taking a sip of his beer.
"The bathtub." I said then took a sip of my own beer.
"Really, and not because it was close to both our works."
"No, that too." I said "I just wanted to be able to take baths with you."
"Right, I'll keep that in mind when we get the house."
"You still letting me move in with you?"
"Yeah,"
"Really, but a house is long term?"
"Not always." he said then finished off his beer.
I had barely drank half. I wasn't much of a drinker. To be fair I couldn't have much anyway, with my medications but I never enjoyed the taste. It always seemed off. Maybe I just needed to try other kinds. I took another sip then rested my head back on his chest and closed my eyes. After a few seconds, he nudged me.
"No falling asleep or no more late night bubble baths."
"Why you'll catch me, if I sink."
"Right but you're making me sleepy. Who's going to catch me?"
"Me." I said. "You get me and I'll get you and we'll float."
"Right."
He took my beer, finishing it off before he set both bottles down on the floor. Then he nudged me to get up. I sat forward pulling the plug off the drain then stood up. I stepped out and he followed after. We dried each other off then went about the rest of our routine. I took my medications, brushed my teeth and braided my hair, before putting on some fresh underwear and a nightgown.
He cleaned out his ears then checked for nose hairs before pulling on some briefs. I couldn't resist kissing him as we stepped into the hall. His lips were so soft, like rose petals.
He went into the bedroom and I fell back, walking slowly. I watched him pull back the blankets then look back to see what was taking me so long. I quickly ran up to him and jumped into his arms, wrapping my limbs around him.
"Oh no!" He said knowing what I was up to, "Not tonight. I'm tried."
"Yeah but it will help you sleep better. They say sex helps with sleep or headaches, one or the other, who knows maybe it helps with everything!"
He chuckled. "Says who? Who are these "they?"
"They are a study, I read."
"Then doubt. Anyone can make a study on anything."
"Well if you really feel that way, why don't you help me prove them wrong or right. Considered this research. Not sex but scientific study."
"Right." he chuckled again but wrapped his arms around me.
He gave me a few quick kisses then spun us around the room before dropping me down on the bed. He climbed on and I gave him a big smile, knowing I had won. I ran my fingers over his shoulders and down his chest, admiring his physique. He was in pretty good shape this life, from lifting heavy equipment.
He leaned over me and gave me another kiss, this one lasted longer then the others. It was so soft and he lingered on my lips for a moment. When he pulled away he ran his hand over my nightgown, across my stomach and breasts. After our first time things were a little awkward for a while. He kept treating me like I was fragile but I had urges, needs like any other woman.
It didn't take me long to pick up...on some of my old 'skills.' He was surprised the first time I gave him a 'proper' blowjob. He wondered how I knew how to do that. I'd simply told him the truth, it was from a memory or two. Of course, he hadn't believed me but there were other things I recalled in bed that had him no doubt beginning to wonder.
I always liked when his eyes would get big with surprise and he'd let out such groans. Afterwards he'd ask me a ton of questions. He knew he'd been my first and only, yet I knew how to do so many things. He kept asking if I saw it somewhere, read about it or asked someone. It was so cute! One day it would all click for him and he'd know, but for now he was beyond baffled.
I helped him lift my nightgown over my head and he took my breasts his hands. He sofly kissed and caressed them before running his hand down my stomach again. I pulled off my underwear, then ran my hands over his chest and shoulders, feeling his muscles once more before I dropped my hands down to his briefs. I admired the nice tent he had going on then pulled on the waist band. He climbed out of them and tossed them to the floor. We embraced then feeling our naked skin against one another.
We touched foreheads together for a moment then kissed once more. This time it went long and deep as we put our tongues in each others mouths. I loved the tasted of him and the feel of his skin against mine. When we pulled apart I looked up into those ocean blue eyes of his. I knew some dormant part of him truly knew who I was and the love that we shared.
I longed for the day when I would look into his eyes and the spark of recognition and realization would be undeniable and he would look at me like he did in my dreams. We made out for a little bit, kissing and caressing before he got in position. He entered me slowly and I took him in twisted and moaning with such delight. It didn't take long for him to find a steady rhythm as I wrapped my legs around him and locked my ankles in place.
He was on top for a good while so much for him being tired. I could see he'd gotten his second wind as he grunted and groaned. It was nice but I didn't want him to do all the work. After another minute or so I tapped his shoulder, letting him know I wanted us to flip. I unlocked my ankles and he clung to me as he rolled us both over. On top now, I sat up on him, with him still inside me. I began to vigorously ride him and he let out several pleasurable grunts.
I had once joked one thing about dating a twenty something was there hips could go all night. He hadn't appreciated the joke mentally but I could see he was physically happy.
He looked up at me with such love as I basked in the moonlight. I looked up at the ceiling and arched my back, really grinding against him. I love feeling every inch of him inside me.
I swiveled my hips and gave him a quick squeeze with my kegel muscles. He groaned running his hands all over me. It didn't take me long to work myself up, and soon enough, I bore down on him as I came. I let out a fevered whimper, followed by a series of loud moans. I didn't hold back! I didn't care if the neighbors heard! I absolutely loved making love to this man!
He put his elbows on the bed and lifted his hands up so that I could clasp them, for stability, and enjoy the full extent of my pleasure. As I came down from my euphoria, I started riding him once again. He let out several grunts and groans as I teased him a bit. I moved slow, then fast, before doing little circles with my hips, followed by lifting myself up and dropping down. Then I leaned forward, grinding against him as I kissed his soft, sweet lips. Finally, I sat upright once more and bounced.
Oh he enjoyed it! He kept groaning with pleasure and I loved the way he looked at me. He reached out kneading my breasts before he ran his hands down my sides, then up to my face. He smiled at me as he brushed some hair, that had fallen in my face, to the side.
"I do love you, Nona."
"I love you too," I said softly.
"You're so beautiful. Your eyes are so expressive. They hold so many emotions."
"Yours do to," I said, not wanting him to get distracted. I leaned down and gave him a good squeeze as I kissed him.
When I pulled from his lips he groaned "Uhh, I really wont last long, if you keep gripping me like that."
"Like what?" I teased. "Like this, this or this?" I gave him a squeeze every time I said 'this'. I loved to tease him. He let out even more groans. "Uhh, you vixen."
"Your Vixen."
"Yes," he said, "For now."
"Forever," I insisted.
He chuckled then sat up as I was sitting on top of him. He wrapped his arms around me, and held me in place as he jutted his hips up, thrusting into me. It felt good as he bounced us on the bed. I loved being with him, having him inside me and his arms wrapped around me, with such love. He rolled us both over so that I was now on bottom. I laid on my back and he lifted my ankles up to his shoulders. He took one and then the other kissing them before he rubbed my feet. He knew I loved that!
I gathered up the bedding as he kept pumping into me. I felt another orgasm building. I curved my back and lifted my chest. He reached out, running a hand over my breasts as his thrusts became quick and powerful. I felt my body twitch and twinge as I twisted around him cumming once more. This time he joined me and our bodies united as one in our release. It felt amazing! I let out a long moan as he closed his eyes and let out his own deep groan. I could feel him spray into me. It felt warm.
He held himself still for a moment, then when he was done, he pulled out and rolled to lay beside me on the bed. We laid next to each other for a bit, just coming down for from our highs. Eventually he ran his hand through his hair and I turned on my side and said, "I'm so glad you're here."
"So am I." he said. "It's going to be okay."
I turned onto my back once more and we watched the moonlight that poured through our window make shadows on the ceiling. It almost felt as if they were dancing about. I reached up towards them and he grasped my hand bringing it back down to lay on his chest. After a while I started to get sleeping and almost fell asleep.
He let out a sigh then groaned. "We can't keep doing this."
"What," I groaned confused. "Sex?"
"Nah, the sex is just fine."
"Then what can't we keep doing?"
"Sex without condom. You could get pregnant."
"Would that be so bad?" I timidly asked.
He sighed, "I just don't know if we're ready."
"You mean if I am." I said propping myself up on my elbows.
He didn't respond which always meant yes in my book.
"I might be."
"You're still young. Maybe one day with-" He cut off but I knew where he was going.
"With someone else."
"Nona," he sighed again. "Can we just not tonight. It's already been a long day."
"No you keep doing this!" I snapped. "You keep making us temporary but we're not! How long is it gonna take for you to realize this is the real deal! What do I have to be thirty?"
"You realizes that is like ten years." he said. "Ten years is a long time."
"It's less then ten years. I'm not twenty."
"Oh wow, one or two years less, it's still a long time. You're always in such a rush. Just take things slow for once."
"Hey I'm not in a rush! Fast or slow, I honestly don't care as long as I'm with you."
"There are so many other people out there, you haven't even dated."
"So." I said shrugging. "Why bother, I already know who I want to be with and it's not from what happened. I've dreamt of you since as long as I can remember."
He scoffed, "You know I don't believe in that stuff."
"Well it's okay, you don't need to believe, I do because it happened."
"Right." he said then he paused. He looked like he was nearly asleep but he surprised me with another question. "Was Becket really the guy you saw back in the hall?"
"Yeah. It was him. I didn't know his name until today."
"I could have just shown you a year book."
"I was thinking that but it doesn't matter. Knowing his name wont stop what's happening."
"It would have. We could have cleared things up a long time ago and ease you mind."
"We also could have sped things up."
"Honestly Nona, Becket isn't who you think he is. He's not after you. He doesn't even know who you are."
"Oh he knows me, just not in this life. Not yet and hopefully not ever!"
"Right." he sighed again.
"You told him didn't you...about everything."
"No I didn't. I told you what I told him. He doesn't need to know about all that other stuff, its not relevant."
"Because it's not real," I snapped.
"Yeah." he said "I don't know how long it's going to take for you to see that."
"I could say the same for you."
He sighed yet again. He was full off hot air tonight. He turned on his side putting his back to me. I didn't like it when we argued. "Someday...you'll understand Casey. I just hope it's not anything soon but-"
"Nona."
"Yeah," I said yawning.
"Go to sleep. I have to teach class tomorrow and we're overhauling an entire city bus."
"Oh wow, how did you swing that?"
"The city donated it for learning. Of course if we managed to fix it up, they want it back but will advertise the vocational school."
"That's pretty neat."
"Yeah it is. Now sleep."
I put my hand on his back rubbing it, "Okay."
After a minute or so I rolled over, putting my back to him. I laid there for a long while staring off into space. I didn't really think about anything I just felt, restless. I kept expecting to hear Casey sound asleep but like me, he seemed to still be up.
"Casey?"
"Yeah," he said with a sigh.
"Thanks, for everything, really."
"Yeah, yeah," he said rolling over. He spooned me, "What's a boyfriend for, if not to scare other guys off."
"You scare him?"
"You know what I mean, now sleep."
"Sleep." I said yawning again. I shut my eyes hoping I could and that things might be different this time, if not delayed for that much longer.
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