Warning DARK! TRIGGER WARNING: Self Harm

Prologue

Imagine for a moment, you were walking on a long stretch of railroad tracks. You had no idea how many tracks were behind you or just how many more lie ahead of you. On either side of the track there were chasms, deep and wide as far as the eye could see. As you walked along your path, you also knew a train was barreling towards you. What would you do?

Would you keep walking? Would you try to outrun the train, not knowing which direction it was coming from? Would you jump and hope the fall hurt less then the impact of the train or would you wait...wait for the inevitable. For the train to reach you and wreck your entire life. I suppose it's a stupid analogy but it was how I felt about the curse, standing there in the hallway that day.

I felt like I finally saw the train that had been barreling towards me my entire life. Funny enough I'd just come out of math. It was probably where I'd gotten the train analogy. We had a quick example problem of trains, speed towards one another and calculating the impact. I wish I knew the formula and that I could apply it to that very instance but deep down, I knew no amount of math would ever solve this problem.

For the last four years, I'd been having dreams...nightmares of past lives. I still didn't understand everything but my most vivid dreams had two people. One with ocean blue eyes, my love and the other with ice blue eyes, my destruction. When I realized they weren't just dreams but memories. I tried to tell my parents and doctors, it was the reason I tossed and turned at night. He was the reason I screamed for dear life and grinned my teeth to no end.

Of course no one believed me. No one understood but I did! Over the years I had seen such things. I knew what the man with ice blue eyes was capable of. The things he did to me and others were worse then death itself. I often shivered at the thought of his touch and of seeing those eyes upon me once again. I dreaded it with every fiber of my being and debated what I might do, should...no when we crossed paths. But I thought I had time...I thought I had more time.

Yet that day, the first day of high school, coming out of math class with my friends my time was up. As we passed through the hall there was a group of older boys ahead of us walking in the opposite direction. As we neared them one of them stopped walking. He stood out from the rest and I glanced at him only to stop walking myself. There before me was the man from my nightmares, the train that had been barreling on day and night. I knew it was him, those eyes were unmistakable and the way he looked at me. My chest seized as if to prepare myself to the impact.

I knew in that moment I couldn't run. I might be able to get away today but he'd find me, now that he had seen me one way or another he'd get me. I knew he would chase me to the end of existence itself. I stumbled back and he moved forward curiously. Seconds felt like minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades, century, millennium, eons. In that moment I didn't feel like a freshman anymore. I felt like and old soul that was spiraling through infinity.

A tear escaped my eyes and rolled down my cheek. My friends finally noticed I'd fallen back. I wasn't sure if someone spoke to me. My eyes were locked onto his as My hand was already moving. I imagined that train barreling closer and closer, the steam rising. Countless nightmares...lifetimes of memories flowed through me. I stumbled back yet again as I grabbed my hobby knife from its case dropping everything else to the ground.

It was for art. I'd been so exited to get one. To be old enough to be trusted with such a sharp knife. It was suppose to be for making exact cuts to cardboard, paper or anything else that might need cutting. In this moment it was my release. My escape! For a split second I thought about taking him out but doubted I could. Instead I turned the blade on myself, I jabbed it into my neck hard. It was easier then I thought. It took only seconds to drag the bade across my throat. I wasn't thinking only hoping it would be quick and put an end to this nightmare before it even began.

Screams filled the hallway like the train of a whistle. The man with ice blue eyes looked at me beyond horrified. I smiled at him as blood gushed out everywhere. He would not get me! Not this life! I'd chosen! I'd made the choice to get off the tracks and jump into the abyss. I chose to escape this madness, this curse of ours… if only for a lifetime.

Yet someone grabbed me...or maybe I fell. I don't remember. All I know is someone had their hand around my neck before the knife fell from my hand. They blocked my view as I suddenly found myself on my back. I didn't know their face. I suppose it was a teacher I hadn't met yet...and yet when I looked into his eyes, I knew him at once. I had seen those eyes countless times in my dreams.

I gasped as blood filled my mouth. Momentary panic set in as I realized what I had done. I was dying. I looked up, looked into those eyes. He looked just as panicked if not more so. He had no idea what was going on? I reached out grasping hold of his cheek. My hand was bloody and it left a mark. I looked at him as such love flowed through me. My chest swelled as I recalled more memories and feelings. It overwhelmed everything else and I wasn't afraid just sad now. What Fate. What fortune to run into my destruction and love on the same day, in the same moment.

He was saying something, his lips were moving. "Stay with me, hey stay with me. What's her name? What's her name!"
"NONA!" one of my friends screamed. I realized they were standing around me. I should have done this somewhere else, I didn't meant to hurt them all. My eyes began to feel tired and my hand fell from my loves face. He shook me, trying to keep me conscious as he held my neck with his iron grip. "NONA! HEY! NONA! STAY WITH ME! STAY WITH ME!"

How many lifetimes had he pleaded with me not to die in his arms. More tears escaped my eyes. I didn't want to go. I didn't want to lave him. I found it hard to breathe... to stay focused. I tried to look at him, to focus on the sound of his voice. In my haste, I forgot I was not alone on those tracks that someone else was out there walking them just as I was and that I had as much chance as meeting them as I did the train.

I wish...I wish that we'd been able to walk together ...at least for a little while….that we'd had some time before the curse found us but at least we met. At least we got to...meet. That was my last thought before everything else fell away and I was swallowed up by the dark.

Six years later….