This wasn't love
Full title
I didn't know what this was but this wasn't love.
"I got these for you," he said holding open a box of my favorite donuts.
I stared at him from behind a screen door, wondering how he'd found me this time. I hadn't thought he knew my mother's new address. I hadn't even known it until she picked me up from the hospital. He smiled at me waiting for me to respond but I was unsure of what to say. I knew I shouldn't have opened the door in the first place...but I hadn't seen him in months...no one had. A mixture of emotions washed over me. I began to tremble but took a deep breath thinking I just needed to keep him here...just long enough…
When we first met Craig was unlike anyone I'd ever met. I'd fallen for his charm, his irresistible looks and confidence. I swear he was the cockiest person I'd ever seen and just had this way about him that pulled me in. I felt like those ice blue eyes of his could pierce my very soul. He made me feel so so special, like I was the only woman in the world. He spoiled me with such affection and attention that I'd been longing for almost all my life.
He'd been seeing someone at the time we first hooked up. I knew it was wrong but it was like we were magnets...uncontrollably attracted to one another. It was like there was nothing we could do it was just always meant to happen. From the first moment I saw him I just felt connected. He knew it too. I saw it in his eyes the first time we were introduced...that flicker of interest..the second glance of curiosity.
We were at a night club all hanging out. A friend of mine, knew his girlfriend or something. I remember I kept smiling at him politely and he nodded to me. Even though we'd never met before that night but there was such sexual intensity between us. At one point I left the dance floor to use the restroom and when I came out he was leaning against a wall in the darken hallway.
Wordlessly he pulled me into a storage closet and we went at it. There was this heat...this passion like I'd never known. I'd had sex before but I'd never been fucked...so truly and deeply. It had left us both breathless. Our friends were none the wiser when we returned. He went back to his girlfriend like nothing happened and I had no idea what had just happened.
I continued to dance the night away and left thinking I might never see him again yet low and behold, the next morning he showed up at my apartment with a dozen roses. I didn't ask any questions. How he had found me? What he was doing here? We spent the entire day in bed barely saying a word to one another. After that we were inseparable, I'd go wherever he'd go...we'd do everything together.
It wasn't long before his girlfriend found out. She slapped but I didn't care. At that point I was hooked, I thought I was in love for the first time in my life. We were hot and heavy for months. Slowly he started to change...or maybe I just noticed he was kind of a jerk. He'd calling me names, humiliate me in front of others but I didn't mind it...It was strange...it only seemed to turn me on.
It was like in my eyes he could do no wrong. Maybe I was young and foolish maybe it was something else whatever it was. I just wanted to be with him, more then anything. He became like a drug….a drug that filled ever aspect of my being. When I was with him I didn't think of anything or anyone else.
He soon controlled my life, from what I ate, to how I dressed to who I talked to or could even look at. I became his completely. I found his possessiveness attractive like he loved me so much he didn't want to share me with the world but as time went on, it meant I was cut off from the rest of the world.
He became my everything but things weren't exactly rainbow and sunshine. He could get really moody and agitated for no reason. He'd yell at me say I talked too much, asked too many questions. He wanted me to be quiet to just shut up and look pretty. When we were out he wanted me to be like a doll something to be looked at that only he could play with. At home he expected me to clean and cook for him only to insult me.
He said I did everything wrong. He told me I was incompetent, incapable of anything but spreading my legs. He made me doubt myself. He kept pushed my limits mentally, physically and sexually. If I wasn't in the mood he'd threaten to go to someone else and I knew he would so I'd let him do whatever he wanted to me even if it hurt.
It was sad...I was sad, truly pathetic but at that point I had no-self worth beyond what he gave me. When he started hitting me...I felt like I'd done something to deserve it. We'd get into these arguments, he'd twist things...he'd say one thing then another and claim he never said the first thing. He made me feel like everything was my fault and I was happy to take the blame. His friends started called me his little puppy dog. He liked that...teased me...asking if I wanted to be his bitch. I told him I'd be whatever he wanted me to be that I was his. I think that scared him because he pulled away and got distant.
I caught him hooking up with other women, sometimes right in front of me, he'd watch me wanting to see my reaction but I just sat there…like his doll waiting to be played with when he wanted.
When really it hurt seeing him with others...I felt like my heart was being ripped out but I kept telling myself who was I to say anything, after all that is how we got together. He'd been with someone else when he'd gotten with me. I worried...the same would happen to me.
One day a woman pulled me aside when she found out we were together. She scolded me for letting him do this to me. She asked me if I had any self-respect that she'd never let a man treat her like that. She gave me a card and told me to leave him and get some help...find some real love...as if this wasn't love. There wasn't anything I wouldn't do for him.
I took the card but her words went right though me. I thought I could never leave him ...I was always afraid of him leaving me. I didn't like it when he got with others but I just hoped he'd come back to me and they we'd be together again.
I became lost in his world, in his ways. I just wanted to let go of everything to be with him. I didn't care what became of me long as he stayed together. He knew he was in control...knew he could do what he wanted. He lorded it over me used it against me. He'd do what he want without consequence. If ever I'd get upset he'd punish me sometimes he'd be gone for hours or days without a word and I'd just wait for him to come back.
When he did I'd shower him with love and praise secretly hoping he'd do the same in return but at some point he stopped saying nice things...stopped showing me with love all that remained was the pain and the humiliation. When I pointed this out he turn on me say I was too clingy...too needy. I expected to much no on was going to give me everything I wanted. We'd fight but all it took was him telling me he loved me and I'd forgive him.
Overtime things got more rough and abusive. One day he broke my arm. It was an accident but hurt so bad. I begged for him to help me… to take me to the hospital. He got really upset with me. He said he'd get in trouble if he took me into the hospital that he'd get arrested. He claimed I wanted to trap him and blamed how our relationship had been going on me. He said I wanted him to hurt and abuse me that I was sick in the head and needed help. He said he didn't need this...need me. He packed up his things and left me.
I had to take myself to hospital… it was then that reality struck me hard. They went to fix my arm but noticed all my other bruises and fractures and that I was underweight. They wanted to know who had done this to me and I broke down just telling them I'd done it to myself. They called in a social worker and she stayed with me for hours. She wanted to get me into a program for battered individuals. I didn't want to go I didn't think that was me… The police came by and asked me a lot of questions but eventually they let me leave.
I went back to the apartment and waited for him, for days...till I got an eviction noticed. I packed up my things then but I didn't know what to do with myself or where to go. I called the social worker about the program thinking at least I might have a place to stay for a little while. They gave me a room but I had to agree to therapy and chores. I didn't know what else I was gonna do so I agreed. I met one on one with someone and then at a center for group therapy for abuse victims.
I still didn't think of myself as one. I thought it was all my fault that I was just defective… needy...that no one could want me or love me without there being some pain...some price involved. I found out I wasn't alone. One woman was in a wheelchair, she said her husband broke her legs when she'd threatened to leave him. Another woman was deaf from her boyfriend hitting her so much for not listening. There was even some guys there. One refused to talk but another guy spoke up. He didn't considered himself abused but it came out his wife constantly put him down for everything and had stabbed him when he'd done the laundry wrong and ruined her favorite shirt. He was upset with himself more then her.
When it was my turn I felt strange talking, small. I felt like I wasn't like them I told them I liked being hit and hurt that it made me feel good. In therapy we worked on getting to the root of my issues. My mother used to put me down and one of my stepfather's used to hit me and my therapist thought I was just trying to continue that cycle...That it was all I had known and interpreted it as a form of love when really it was abuse. It came down to self-love...self worth. I had to do a lot of complements to myself...make a lot of small decisions like what I wanted to eat or how I wanted to dress and be okay with it...even when others questioned me.
We did role playing in group therapy and that showed me what was acceptable and what was abuse. How to identify the abuse and stamp it out. I went to a self love workshop where I had to point out the things I liked about myself and what I thought others should appreciate about me. I wasn't sure if it was working on me or not.
I got a job at a book store and eventually my own place. I still kept up therapy. They warned me it could be easy to slip into abuse once more, the guy who'd been stabbed went back to his wife cause they were gonna have kids. The group was sad….they still encouraged him to come and that we should all try to find healthy relationship.
I found it hard to connect with others….I put myself into my job at the book store. It became my new obsession. I enjoyed the quietness of it, organizing and checking people out. I thought about owning my own book store one day maybe by the beach. It was weird but I started to make plans for a future without him. I started talking to my family again which didn't go so well my mom was upset with me said I'd dropped off the face of the earth. I told her where I was working and what I'd been up to...I didn't feel good after talking to her. I felt bad I talked about it in therapy how I could never make her happy.
Then one a few days later he showed up out of the blue. He looked awful...sick even. He'd lost a ton of weight and looked like a shell of his former self. I almost didn't recognize him. He bought flowers and just wanted to talk. We went to a nearby cafe and he told me he'd been looking for me everywhere that he realized he was wrong and sorry for how bad things had gotten. He apologize for everything he'd ever done to me and told me he knew he loved me more then anyone.
That he'd tried to date to be with other women but none compared to me. He said he loved me so much it scared him. He said I was his one true love and he just wanted to be with me. It was everything I wanted to hear all this years but I felt uneasy. I told him he needed to get some help that he had some other issues going on but I'd think about what he said.
He was unrelenting he'd show up at the bookstore everyday and sit outside staring at me. He'd follow me home and sleep in his car outside my complex. I knew it wasn't healthy he just kept saying he loved me so much, he kept giving me small gift and complementing me. I knew it was called love bombing from therapy.
I tried not give into it, to feel anything for him but when he hired a band for my birthday and got down on his knees begging me for a second chance...I gave into him. I made it clear thins would no be how they once were. We were going to go slow but he moved in after the first week. He wanted to sleep in my bed but I made him stay on the couch. We dated for a few weeks then started having sex again. I let him back into my bed then when my lease was up we got a place together. It was father from my job and I had to commute. He'd complain about having to drive me and started saying little things like my job took up to much time and it wasn't worth the money. I wanted to keep it...wanted to keep the income and independence it gave me but he said we didn't need it. He promised to get me whatever I needed.
I was still hesitant to quit, after a few days I got a bunch of customer complaints and they had to let me go. I was crying when he picked me up in his car. He told me I was better off without it and took me out to dinner and a movie. I became his stay at home girlfriend. I worried he wouldn't like how I did things but he didn't complain. He even praised me saying how much he missed me being home.
I still tried to go to therapy once a week, then every other week and then once a month. They noticed a change in me I didn't admit I was back with him...just that I was having work stress. When he got a job in another city, we had to move out of the area. I had to let go of my therapist and group. I wanted to start up new groups or still see someone in my area but he complained about it. He said it was stupid that I didn't need it. I was perfect.
I made excuses myself about not wanting to open up to someone knew. I thought it would be okay but slowly I started to lose control again. He offered to cook for me get groceries. We'd just watch porn together and he'd say I could do that that we should do that. He kept showing me with praise saying he liked the weight I'd gained and what I'd done with my hair he told me I looked amazing.
He wanted me to start wearing sexy outfits around the apartment so he had something to look forward to when he came home. At first I'd wear sheer clothing and lace and then it became leather and latex with corsets. He wanted me to show off my curves but it took some getting used to. Some days it was painful to wear and I wasn't sure if I wanted this if our relationship might be taking a trun but he said I was the most beautiful woman in the world. He would praise me and make me feel so good.
I told myself things were different this time I knew what to look out for and before he'd put me down but now he praised me. He encourage me to be more open with my body...my mind. I wasn't sure about it. I wasn't into sex as much as he liked. I began taking pills that would help me to get aroused more easily. When they kicked in things felt nice sexy, he insisted I take them all the time and began to feel like I was constantly turned on and wet.
He started only having us go out at nice. He'd have me wear a mesh or latex suits under my clothes. I thought I might be weirded out but I was so turned on we started messing around in various places...it was kind of kinky and exciting. My sensations felt like they were on overload. We'd got to sex clubs and watch people fuck and then we'd go home and fuck. Sometimes we'd do it at the club and let people would watch us now. At first I was shy...but found I liked being watched...like others admiring me. I got really sexual and began losing myself completely to it...it became constant almost like an addiction.
At first we'd just mess around when we were in sex club and then when we were out late at night but when we'd get home he'd still want to keep playing. He'd give me toys to play with and wear while he was away and have me take and videos he could masturbate to. He said I was gorgeous.
We started filming sex videos at home and I'd watch them with him and we'd have more sex. He said if we sold these he wouldn't have to work and we could just be together everyday. I wasn't sure I didn't want anyone to know it was me...So he got me a mask that left only my mouth open. He got me sexy latex suits and you couldn't tell who I was. We'd film one or two at first and then as money cam rolling int we'd film videos all day and he'd edit them late into the night. He was able to stay home and we could afford to pay our bills and have nicer thing. I also admit it was wild when I'd see hundreds of thousands of views and no one knew that was me getting railed. It was kind of exciting...I'd usually dress down after wearing an old t-shirt or a sweater, but he started wanting me to wear my outfits all the time.
I pointed out I could barely see with the mask and would bump into things. I also wore really tall shoes and was afraid of falling and hurting myself. He suggested I crawl around. I wasn't sure but I guess I enjoyed wearing the suits I wore them so much anyway now that it started to feel weird without them. I even slept in them. I felt a little strange about things...but told myself I was happy that I felt good...that he made me feel great.
We started going out on late night walks and he'd have me crawl around pulling me on a leash. Some fans recognized the public parks we walked to. He'd talk to them but I wasn't allowed to speak he told me to pretend I'd forgotten words. He'd tell me to sit, lay down come here it felt like he was turning me into a dog this time instead of a doll. I pointed this out to him and he thought it was funny. A few days later he cooked dinner for me but put it in a dog bowl on the floor along with a water dish. I told him it was seriously degrading but he begged me to do it just for him, just once. I figured it was just once and it made him happy. I dug into the bowl getting all messy and he told me to keep my but in the air and inserted a plug. He told me to wiggle my but about. I did it but laughed. He got mad telling me dogs didn't laugh. I got quiet and hear him taking pictures. I pulled back my mask and saw he'd been filming it.
I realized the but plug looked like a dog tail. He wanted me to keep going. I got mad at him telling him I didn't okay any of this. He got more aggressive telling me to stop talking and eat. I flipped the bowl over food and stood up. He back handed me so hard I felt back and hit the floor.
He immediately apologized but I got upset. I took the suit off… and went to the bathroom. I took a cold shower and then put a robe on. I went to bed and he eventually came in and spooned me.
I was mad at him but he admitting he'd gone too far and that he should have asked me if he could take video. I told him things had been weird lately and I wasn't sure how I felt about it. I didn't want to lose myself to him and sex completely again but I felt like it had gotten worse this time. I thought maybe we should cool off for a while and I should stop taking so many arousal pills.
He pulled away from me and sat up on the bed. He opened up to me and told me he worried something might be wrong with him that he liked doing things to me...like me getting uncomfortable…even going too far. He said he knew it was wrong... that it shouldn't feel good but it did. He said there was this dark part of him, he'd always tried to suppress and I just brought it out in him.
He thought it was because he loved me so much that he could be himself with me. He admitted none of he other girls ever made him feel like I could...but sometimes he just... it could be so much too much for him to handle. Sometimes he wanted to own me, to possess every part of me and lock me up in a little box that only he could access to.
I didn't now how to felt about all this. I sat up and he kept going. He said after I left him he just realized he needed me and he hadn't ever needed anyone this much. He said our love was all consuming and that he just wanted to hurt me to punish me for making him so crazy. That putting me down...degrading me made him feel like he was in control.
I wanted to point out I hadn't left him that he'd left me but he turned to me with tears in his eyes and asked me if I could still love him...knowing how he felt and how he was...He asked if I could I spent the rest of my life with him..being his. I pulled back as he took a box out of his pocket and showed it to me
He asked me to marry him and I was surprised. We'd talked about it once or twice but he'd shown no interest. I opened up to him about how I felt...consumed by him as well that when we were together...when I was having sex it was like I fell away and I didn't think, I didn't feel that he was like some sort of drug. I knew that wasn't healthy...but I just couldn't help myself.
He didn't say anything he just held the box in his hand and waited for me to respond. I knew I should think about it, but I when it came to him I didn't. I just leapt… I said yes and he showed me the ring. It was beautiful with a blue sparkling gemstone but when I took it out I noticed it was small it wouldn't even fit my pinki it was like an earring. He told me it was a clit ring. He wanted me to get pierced for him. We'd talked about it before. I was adamant I didn't want. I thought it was too painful but he said if I loved him and wanted to be with him I needed to accept that he was different and things would be different between us.
If I couldn't accept that then he didn't want me. He wanted his wife to love him. He took the ring back and got angry. I didn't want to ruin this moment. I mean the man I loved asked me to marry him. I agreed and said I'd do whatever he wanted and he made the arrangements. I got a white dress and we got married in a tattoo parlor. He got a tattoo on his finger for my ring to him and I got my clit pierced.
This wasn't a normal love...I could see it on others faces but we weren't normal. I was sore after it was done but he didn't push me he even let me stop taking the medication and she showered me with love. He'd rub my feet get me whatever I wanted… carry me around and every day he'd look at it and say it was proof I was his, real proof that I loved him enough to do anything for him.
At one point we went on a drive and he surprised me with a house. He said he'd invested or something and it had paid off. It was on the outskirts of the city and a bit run down but it had a fully fenced back yard. I thought we might get a few dogs but he had other plans. We moved in and I found out his best friend Rutger was also moving in with us. He hadn't told me about that.
I never really liked Rutger, but it was because he never really liked me. I tried to be friendly with him I really did when we first met he seemed decent enough but barely said anything around me. After a while he stopped acknowledging I exited and would just talk to Craig. I knew Rutger liked Craig more and that Craig knew he liked him. Sometime I think he used him but like me, Rutger didn't seem to mind. The idea of living with Rutger made me feel a bit sad for him, knowing he might love Craig only to have him love me.
It had to be agony knowing we'd gotten married but to moved into a house and see us everyday. Craig and I argued about it but in the end Craig admitted the house wasn't actually ours but Rutger's. He'd got it in an inheritance so it was really us that was saying with him. I felt really weird about it then like we were taking advantage of him but Craig said it meant the world to Rutger to live with him and that Craig loved be married to me and living in a house with me would be so great. We never had to worry about rent or being evicted...We could go wild fuck outside do whatever we wanted here and no one would say anything.
I pointed out Rutger was here and we wouldn't be doing anything in the open. He admitted to me then he'd handed over our sex tapes to Rutger months ago and he'd been editing them and uploading them for us to free up Craig's time to work on plans for the house remodel. He said Rutger would start filming us so we could get different angels. I pointed out that is why we had multiple camera's. He just got really mad and stormed off. He didn't talk to me for nearly two days and then said. I'd married him I'd promised to love and obey him...I really needed to work on my obey. I guess he'd already seen us...but I still felt upset about it.
I expect Craig to keep push me but he didn't. He gave me space and time. Instead he spent his days working on the house with Rutger. They'd do everything together. They'd go to the hardware store, build and plan. Watching the, it was like they were connected...like they could always read what the other was after they worked well together. I felt like a third wheel as I watched them remodel the inside and out of the house.
Rutger also took over the cooking and cleaning of the house and all the maintenance. I didn't have to do anything but relax and enjoy myself. I felt guilty like I was freeloading I asked Craig if there was anything I could do...He mentioned he refilled my pills and we could use some cash for the remodel. I knew he wanted to start up again with Rutger. I was still un decided I tried to help Rutger with cooking and the dishes but he wouldn't let me. He just kept grumbling I was in the way. After a while I asked him what I could do to help around the house. He just told me to ask Craig. I healed enough that I was used to the new ring. So I started the pills back up.
We started making movies...some weird ones. We had weird ways of hiding my identity. I'd hear a bag over my head or a mask. Rutger filmed us in various places and poitions throughout the house and outside. I thought it was weird at first but eventually with my mask on I couldn't really see him and he was super quieted I also found myself occupied with other things.
We made all sort of fetish videos. Craig bough benches and swing and we'd do different scenarios, like Craig was a plumber, farmer, pizza guy, music teacher when we got a piano. When we weren't filming I'd lounge around the house and watch TV. Sometimes Craig would join me.
He joked around with me asking me to bark sometimes. I thought it was our private joke but on Craig' birthday Rutger got him a doggy collar, bowls, and beds with with my name on it. I realized he must have told him about it and they were just furthering the joke but he wanted to started using them right away. Craig insisted I come up stairs and he showed me the gift I got him. It was another sex suit modified so my hair could come out on either side and my legs could straped up behind me. It had pads on my nees and for the hands. He wanted me to go around the house again, barely able to see with my privates exposed and pretend to be his dog. I told him no way but he pointed out it was his birthday and for my birthday he got me a house. I pointed out not really his house. He told me it could be and called for Rutger but I stopped him. I told him just for his birthday I'd play.
He got so excited he was almost giddy. He said the video still turned him on. I couldn't belive he'd kept it especially after we'd fought about it. He heled me put the suit on and said the rule was I couldn't talk when the collar was on. If I was bad...he'd have to punish me with paddle.
Rutger set the table for two that night and put my bowls under the table. Since it was Craig's birthday I complied. I blew him under the table and ate my dinner out of my bowl. He even took me outside insisting I go but I didn't have to. We kept playing all night till bed. He put the doggy bed down at the end of our bed and told me from now on I was sleeping there since no dogs in the bed. I told him he had to be joking that his birthday was over. He reminded me dogs didn't talk and paddled me hard. He hadn't held back and it stung. I got in the bed cause again I guess it was still his birthday till bed but sometimes I questioned my choices. I guess at least he wasn't beating me and wasn't saying mean things to me anymore. He was still very loving and affectionate and the sex was good but this was a bit much I wish I'd kept my mouth shut about it...thought I guess being a dog was better then being a doll. I didn't like thinking what he'd want to do for that.
The next day he was adamant I was now his bitch. He refused to talk to me or look at me less I played this new kink out. A few days later I found all the bathroom locked. When we were filming and I was allowed to talk I asked about it and he said dogs didn't go in the house. I told him he couldn't be serious but he was. The next time I was in the suit he had me go outside. Rutger filmed it and I overhead Craig tell Rutger they might be able to get those windowshe wanted and Rutger actually smiled. That in itself was something I wish we had on film.
Craig told me when he was out Ruger was in charge like I needed someone to watch over me. The kink was find when Craig was around but I wasn't going to keep it up if he wasn't here. When he went out for hours and I had to go I looked for some place private and went. When Craig found it later he hit beat me and threatened to put my face in it next time. I didn't doubt him for a second. I told him this was insane...that things had gone to far. He said if I loved him, I do this for me...he'd never been more happy. I was beginning to wonder if this was love...I'd been on the look out for him hitting me or cursing at me but began to realized I'd fallen back into old patterns with his sweat talking.
The next time I had to go...Craig handed Rutger my "leash" and he took me out. I told him this was ridiculous he didn't have to. He yanked on my leash when I was done and told Craig I'd talked which got me paddled. After that Rutger took me on walks every morning. At night Craig would give me treats teach me new tricks and brush my hair. If I messed up too much and dropped the act I was paddled till my skin turned red. One night it hurt so bad and I cried myself to sleep. He rubbed some loton on it and told me he was sorry but he really appreciated how much I loved him to do this for him. It was one thing to say I'd do anything for him and another to do it. I wanted to ask what about me...if you loved me...what would you do for me but I knew it would just be another paddling cause dogs couldn't talk
Things went on like that for a while and I felt like I was going mental. At one point Craig threw a ball and I actually fetched it. After a few months Rutger's cousin Vanessa came over while we were filming. I was tied up and had my mouth gauged...when she walked in mid fuck. She was a beautiful blond with big breasts. She supposedly had gotten out of a really bad break up and asked Craig if she could stay with us for a while. Rutger didn't stop filming. He didn't let up on me and said she could take a room upstairs and not to mind us. After we were don't filiming I got upset.
I told him he should have stopped filming given me a chance to decided. Rutger cleared his thraot and said its his house he decides. Craig just shrugged and started helping me get my suit on. I refused but he tackled me to the ground forcing it on me. He said she already knew about us I wanted to know how and when. He said if I spoke once the collar was on Rutger would get a whack. I looked at he already had the paddle in his hand and another smile on his face. Okay I did not like him smiling.
She mostly stayed in her room crying but at dinner she came down they gave her a place to sit at the table. Craig put out food for me but I did't eat when he was done with dinner he petted me and asked if I wasn't feeling well I crossed my arms and he hissed dogs couldn't do that. I begged to differ but went upstairs.
I didn't feel comfortable doing shit around yet another person...Rutger...okay he already knew Craig was fucked up and me but this knew woman I didn't know her. Oddly I started to feel more and more sexually excited after she came. Maybe it was cause I tried to have a take a break or something...else. All I knew was I'd never felt so horny in my life. I didn't understand I was taking the same amount of pills but I felt like I was always ready to go off.
Craig noticed how wet I was getting and playfully joked I was going into hat. I pointed out people couldn't go into heat but I swear the slightest little thing could set me off. Craig and Rutger littered the house with sex toys and had the camera's recording twenty four seven. I swear everything looked fuckable. I tried to control myself but one day I was so horny I just started was fucking everything. It felt so good rubbing up against things and putting stuff inside me I couldn't get enough...Craig and I had sex a few times but I mostly played with myself. Ruger follow me around sometimes getting close ups
They joked about titling the videos bitch goes into heat fucks everything in sight. I told them this wasn't funny that I shouldn't be this turned on. I felt really fucked up I'd get hot flashes and I swear I'd lose my fucking mind. If I spoke he'd paddle me and I was so wet they recorded how wet the board got I even came from that. I began wanting my pussy waked needing more and more stimulants. I found it hard to think my mind went into this sort of sex fog….I felt like my pussy always wanted. I was always dripping so much that Rutger had to put the floors. I wanted more and more and more I felt like I mindless sex zombie. Whenever I'd catch a glimpse of myself on camera I was going crazy doing shit I would have never done if I wasn't so jacked up. I told Craig I needed to stop the pills something had gone wrong with them with me… Craig insisted I'd never been more sexy in my life...He loved how swollen I was...and that I always wanted it. He said he'd unlocked my true form...and now I was perfect. I felt so worked up though my sex became red and swollen and it started to hurt when I came. He said he'd lower the dosages but I found it hard to sleep I just wanted to keep going. I'd start grinding in my dog bed making a night I woke up and looked for Craig wanting to have sex but he wasn't in bed.
I went looking for him and found Vanessa blowing him while Ruger was filming it…I lost it then...I screamed getting on my feet and pushed him. I said we were married… and you didn't do this to your wife. Craig got mad at me and hit me I hit him right back I was so amp up and we went at it...He won sending me to the ground he nearly knocked me out cold. They filmed the entire thing and Vanessa said this was gonna be great for the fans.
I cursed her out and they gaged me tied me up and sat me down on the chair downstairs. Craig sat on the couch with Vanessa holding her hand like they were a fucking couple. He told me he needed Vanessa that he'd been seeing her for a while now. He wouldn't say when but she was helping him stay faithful to me. He liked some variety every now and then and she wasn't seeing anyone so she was safe and he wanted her to help with the videos to widen the audience. She would be a good addition to our relationship, the house and videos. If I wasn't tied down with a fucking gag in my mouth I would have been screaming. He said he still loved me and I would always be his true love. I just knew if I did this to him he'd lose it on me.
Vanessa and her perfect bouncing boobs totally agreed that she didn't love Craig at all. She was only in this for the money and the fame. She hoped we could work together more and make some really good content. I realized then the first time she'd popped by had been part of that video…All of this hd been planned. Craig said they should do a few more shots and they left me tied up downstairs. He said I needed to cool down and think this over. In time I'd see it was a good thing.
I was so done after that...I didn't say I was...knowing there was nothing I could do in this momenbt but I KNEW….I knew…. I didn't know what this was but this wasn't love…not anymore. You didn't do this to someone you loved. I broke down hearing them fuck upstairs. He'd fucked others before but I felt things were different now, I was his wife...I'd pretended to be a dog...I took pills that made me sex crazed. I knew a lot of it I'd done because it felt good but... I also know I'd done everything for him... but still I wasn't enough for him he really did really want me...I wasn't really his everything as he was to me.
Eventually they stopped fucking. He untied me and had the nerve to fuck me...I didn't want to but I knew if he knew what I was planning he might stop me. I just rolled on my stomach and let him do it. The next morning he took my collar off and wee all sat down on the couch. He wanted Vanessa and I to be friends and suggested we get to know each other. I wanted to know when and how they met.
He held up his hand saying when didn't matter how was okay. She said she'd been his hair stylist that he'd noticed her talent and paid for her boobs and but.
She suggested I get some work done but Craig said I was perfect already. Vanessa seemed to really only care about the videos. She asked if I had any tips for filming and if it hurt to get my clit pierced. She'd been debating it. I just glared at her. When Craig realized I was done he put the collar back on Vanessa asked what my favorite position was but Craig explained I couldn't talk when the collar was on so he answered doggy style and they laughed.
To say things were tense in the house...after that ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA! They tried to get me used to the new normal, Ruger ignored me, Craig treated me like shit and Vanessa and her fancy boobs bounced about the house spraying her perfume all over. First chance I got I flushed my arousal pills down the toilet thought I told Craig I was still taking them.
When I was no longer horny twenty four seven and could start to think clearly. I came up with my plan. I knew from experience I couldn't just walk out in my dog set up. I was always in the suit always on a leash when I went out. One time I'd gone out on my own while Craig was dumping some trash and he yelled at me to get my ass back in the house. He'd picked me up and carried me in saying dogs couldn't be out on their own that they'd get hurt.
I was done with his fantasy….done with him. I thought come morning I'd start taking my life back. I'd start changing things up just like he had. It took some real effort but I go my sex suit off and went down stairs before him. I got myself a bowl of cereal and sat down at the table. Rutger came in from a jog went to get my leash saw me and then went upstairs. I tried to act normal. I considered dating out the door but Craig came down a few second later.
I realized Rugter had woken him and no doubt told on me. When he saw me sitting there eating a bowl of his cereal he got mad. He said he hadn't given me permission to do this. I pointed out I hadn't given him permission to fuck Vanessa but you know shit happens. He looked at me like he was gonna hit me like really lay into me but he didn't, Instead he sat down at the table and looked behind me. I turned to see Rutger. He looked back at him and sighed but left the room. I assumed Craig wanted to have a private talk but he said nothing.
I got a bad feeling about this but still kept eating. Craig almost seemed manic staring at me…I could see his hands shaking and he grinded his teeth tensing his jaw. I told him to chill that I need a break every now I tried to make light of thins but he just flared his nostrils. Rutger returned and I saw he had the suit with him. I realized what he was going to do. I screamed no that I was not putting that on and that I was done with him and his bullshit fantasies.
I started to run I managed to get outside but Rutger chased me through the back door. It didn't take him long to catch me in the backyard. I wasn't used to running or walking without the suit...He grabbed me and forced the suit back on me before he dragging me back into the house and into the basement. A large cage had been set up and he threw me into it.
I pointed out this went above and beyond a fucking fetish. I told Craig he'd really lost control that I loved him but he couldn't do this to me I had rights. He just told me dog's don't talk and left me in the dark. For hours I was in the cage. I realized they had a camera set up, there was a small light that came on recording me. I knew then he'd planned this...planned it to put me in here if he really needed to punish me. He hadn't hit me but this was worse before I felt willingly now...this felt like I was an unwilling participant that it was captivity. I pointed that out to Rutger when hebrought me food.
I got so upset...so so so upset I refused to eat but after several hours maybe even days I got super hungry. I ate and started feeling a bit better... a few meals and a day or so later I didn't feel as worked up. He came and got me out he gave me a bath and change out my suit before he let me wander around the house. I felt sluggish...and just laid in my bed.
When dinner came Vanessa didn't started treating me like a dog. I realized this was how things were going to be. Oddly I didn't seem to care I felt like it didn't matter nothing mattered not even when we started making videos with Vanessa. She wore a strap on went into me and Craig into her. When we were finished we moved onto another scene and another scene.
I didn't care about any of it... so much that I started to fall asleep in the scenes. Craig would set me back up and we'd do another take but I just couldn't keep my eyes open. I thought I heard Vanessa say they must have giving me to much... It was then that I realized I wasn't okay with any of this...they were drugging my food now.
They adjusted the dosage but I was not okay with this...I knew I had to go...to get out of here that I was only gonna get one chance. Weeks passed and one day...Rutger and Craig were on the roof Rugter fell off and Craig rushed him to the hospital leaving Vanessa in charge of me. I had to wait until Vanessa went to sleep. I knew she took something to help her.
Once it kicked in I snuck into her room. I stole the key to the front door and an outfit along with a pair of work boots by the door. I went to leave but as luck would have it Craig pulled up in the drive way. I froze as he walked right passed me and into the house. I was glad now that I'd taken a knife with me...at this point if I had to I'd fight my way out. I got down the front steps and was at the front gate when I heard the front door open. I turned back to see Craig. He didn't look mad if anything he looked sad, "Are you going somewhere?" He asked. He sounded tired.
"Yeah," I said clutching the knife in my hand. I made sure he could see it and yelled "AS FAR AWAY FROM YOU AS FUCKING POSSIBLE!"
He didn't react he didn't lash out, "Rutger's okay, just broke some bones needs a few days in the hospital," he spoke like he wasn't hearing me.
I didn't care I turned around and kept walking "BRIA!" he called after me and I knew that tone. He meant business. I turned but he hadn't left he porch. We stared at each other for a full minute before he softly said "I love you,"
That might have worked on me at one point but not anymore. "Love me." I scoffed getting upset...emotional. "I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS BUT THIS ISN'T LOVE...IT STOPPED BEING THAT A LONG TIME AGO! IF IT EVER WAS!"
He just stood there rubbing his jaw before he ran a hand through his hair. I couldn't see his eyes it the dark but his voice picked up like he suddenly realized something."You know what...you're right. I don't love you. You should just go,"
Teared welled up in my eyes I knew everything between us was so fucked up...We both were fucked up and just had the misfortune of running into each other. So many emotions rushed through me as I realized this was it...it...we were finally over. He was going to let me go. He moved to sit on the porch swig and buried his head in his hands.
He just sat there quietly as I walked away. It was strange knowing I wasn't ever see him again. I felt like I should say something… "I...I wish you the best," I said awkwardly he pulled his head from his hands but just stared at me, "Well bye,"
I didn't know what you said….given out history I knew this was the right thing to do. We should have never gotten back together...never gotten together but it didn't matter right now. I picked a direction and took off. It didn't take me long to get tired having always been on my knees. I had to stop every now and then and do stretches...At one point I turned and saw a figure in the distance. I realized someone was following me. When they saw I realized I heard him called out "BRIA!"
I froze realizing it was him this did not bode well. I wondered if he'd wanted to say something more...or try to get me back or...something more dubious. I clutched the knife tightly thinking the latter of the three. I was glad I'd taken the knife.
I started walking again but he called out to me, "BRIA!"
"DON'T MAKE ME HURT YOU!" I shouted but kept going.
"WAIT UP! I NEED TO GIVE YOU SOMETHING!"
He easily caught up to me even as I forced myself to move full sleep. He ran passed me and stopped in front of me "What is it?" I asked.
"I...there is something I wanted to give you but first I need to know something first,"
"Give me," I said confused what could he want to give me? "You don't have to give me anything really. Now what do you want to know."
"Nah, after everything you deserve this but please...tell me just where, where do you think you're going?"
He wanted to know where I was going. I thought he phased it a bit weird. Before I could respond he continued chuckling "I mean where do you think you could that I wouldn't find you?" I realized he'd changed in the moment from the porch to now in the street light I got a look at his face. He no longer looked sad and tired but cocky and I just knew...I lashed out at him with the knife trying to stab him to death. I managed to run it up his arm but he snatched my hand and bent it back till I dropped the knife. I stumbled back and tried to defend myself but it was too late, his hand snatched my neck and squeezed it tight. "Where you going BRIA? Huh...WHERE ARE YOU GONNA GO!"
I tried to pry his hand off my neck but he held onto me like a vice. I knew this time if he got the chance he was going to kill me. He slammed me to the ground knocking the wind out of me. He ripped open his shirt and a car drove by us. Their head lights flashed us he got annoyed but didn't stop. I struggled with him as he dragged me away from the road. I hoped the car saw us...I hoped they'd get help. He dragged me into a nearby ditch and ripped off the outfit I'd taken from Vanessa.
"YOU THINK BY NOW YOU WOULD HAVE LEARNED," he shouted taking off his belt, he began beating me with it. I started screaming as he hit my face shoulder arms and chest. He pulled my hair when I tried to crawl away. He pulling me back to him and roared "YOUAIN'T GOING NOWHERE!"
I cried out scared, he hit me again before ripping off my boots. He tossed them into the street then grabbed me by the back of the neck. I was hysterical as he kept hitting me with his belt before tossing me to the ground. He kicked me hard in the but leaving an imprint on me. "GO WHORE...HUH GO! FIND SOMEONE WHO IS GONNA WANT YOU! WHO'S GONNA LOVE YOU LIKE I DO! YOU'R USED UP! NO GOOD TO ANYONE ANYMORE! YOU'RE JUST WORTHLESS! TRASH ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!"
I started crawling away. He kicked me but I got up determined to keep going. He kicked me again but I got up dragging my hands and feet across the rocky grassy ground. He kicked me down but I just got up.
"STAY DOWN YOU DUMB BITCH!" He said. "GIVE IN! GIVE UP!"
I refused even if I had to crawl away I'd do it. He kept kicking me, my side my but just enough to knock me down.
"YOU'RE PATHETIC! YOUR NOTHING!" He said spitting on me. I didn't care. He ran of but I didn't see where. I didn't care where. I just kept scrambling along the ditch getting farther and father away when suddenly he stomped up to me. He wrapped my hair around his hand and then used the knife to cut it off… He let the hair fall off around me, "LOOK AT THAT! LOOK AT THAT! YOU'RE UGLY STUPID! WORTHLESS!"
He let me back down but I didn't stop. I got to my feet even adrenline surged throuhg me as I said "No I'm not."
"What's that." he said "WHAT DID YOU SAY!"
"No I'm not," I said, "YOU ARE!"
"WHAT!" he said.
He grabbed my arm turning me to face him and I let loose spitting in his face. Probably not the smartest thing to do, given he had a knife but at this point if he was going to kill me he was going to kill me, "YOU'RE WORTLESS!" I said, "How sick...are you...that you need to destroy another person to feel anything."
I couldn't see his eyes but he got upset. So upset he threw the knife into the ground it sunk in hard almost down to the handle. He grabbed me by the neck and drew me in yelling in my face. "I DON'T NEED THIS! YOU NEED THIS! YOU'RE THE SICK, ONE NOT ME. YOU LET ME DO THESE THINGS TO YOU! YOU LET ME HURT YOU! YOU COULD HAVE GONE TO THE POLICE AT ANY POINT. YOU COULD HAVE TOLD THEM WHAT I DID BUT YOU TOOK ME BACK! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SUGGESTED I TREATED YOU LIKE DOG. YOU PUT THAT IDEA IN MY HEAD! I TOLD YOU THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME I WARNED YOU BUT YOU STILL TOOK MY RING! EVERYTHING THAT'S HAPPENED IS YOUR FAULT. I TOLD YOU YOU MAKE ME LOSE CONTROL! THAT YOU BROUGHT OUT SOMETHING DARK IN ME THAT YOU DROVE ME CRAZY! YET YOU STAYED! YOU STAYED"
"Because I loved you," I cried. "I LOVED YOU!"
"LOVED HEH...YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE! THAT'S RIGHT! HEH WHAT DID YOU SAY THIS ISN'T LOVE!" he shouted back at me."THEN WHAT IS IT! HUH! TELL ME IF THIS ISN'T LOVE! WHAT IS IT! WHAT IS IT THEN!"
I looked at him and he glared at me, he was crying tears streaming down my face. He drew in close to me and whispered "Why am I like this? What is it about you? What is this between us?"
"I don't know," I choked. I didn't have the answers. "I don't know."
"Say you still love me," he pleaded his voice shaking, "Say you still love me even like this and you still want to be with me and we can go home…say it...SAY IT"
I looked at him knowing what he wanted from me...knowing what he needed me to say but I couldn't. "I can't," I said, "I can't."
Tears streamed down my own face as I violently shook. I looked away he roared. "DON'T YOU LOOK AWAY FROM ME! IF YOU LOOK AWAY AGAIN I'LL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING FACE!"It was meant to be a threat but his voice weakened. I looked back at him...I'd already accepted we were through...that I couldn't take anymore….but he...he was just realizing. We locked eyes for a moment. "YEAH YOU LOOK AT ME! YOU FUCKING! FUCKING C...C...CUNT! YEAH...THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE! THAT'S ALL YOU'LL EVER ME...MY WHORE...MY FUCKING CUNT WHORE! I OWN YOU… I OWN YOU. I FUCKING OWN YOU AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. THERE IS NO PLACE THAT YOU CAN GO THAT I WONT FOLLOW!"
"You need help," I said looking back at him,
He looked at me his nostrils flaring. In the streetlights I saw his eyes change. One moment he was looking at me the other beyond me. He'd gone somewhere and what was left, what remained, wasn't human. He threw me to the ground and climbed on top of me. He pinned me down and spread my legs forcing himself deep inside me... He cried pounding into me his tears fell on me as I struggled underneathe him as he rapped me.
I broke down crying screaming for him to stop but it was no use. I felt like my heart and body were breaking all at once as he painful thrashed against me. He didn't hold back at one point as he drilled into me grunting and crying, he grabbed my throat and looked me in the eyes. He started choking the life out of me. I tried to fight but couldn't get him to let go he just pounded me harder and I passed out...and came to hearing the sound of sirens. He was scrambling to get up to get away he grabbed his things but just left me there naked in a ditch. I passed out again and heard people talking. Felt someone pressing on my chest.. "I got rhythm….I got rhythm."
I opened my eyes and someone called out to me "Welcome back,"
That day in the back of the ambulance the Bria Nioa Tottle I'd always known had died and whatever was left of her came back to life as me. I knew whatever ever happened I could no longer deny what this was...I couldn't let...wouldn't let it ever happen again. By the time I could speak and tell the police everything that had happened, Craig, Rutger and Vanessa were long gone.
I got treatment and was let out of the hospital after a few days. I moved back in with my mother but was determined to move beyond him. I took up some business classes got a job at another book store and kept my eyes out for any sign of Craig. I swore if he ever came back...I'd get a divorce and have him arrested.
However when I looked into it, it turned out we never really were married...at least it was never registered. I got a restraining order set up but no one could find him to serve it to him. I made arrangements with the local police department to call if I ever saw him. Months went by and then one rainy day...today, I saw him outside my mother's house. I went to the phone and I called the police and the process server.
I wiped my nose...calmed my nerves and waited for him to knock. I considered not answering but I knew if I didn't he'd walk off before they got here. So I opened the door to him holding a box of donuts. He was still standing there staring at me as I stared off into space. He was soaking wet but still looked as handsome as ever he...My stomach twisted at the thought. What was wrong with me that I could still find him handsome that a part of me still wanted him...always would want him. I clenched my fist burried my old feelings and said "No thank you,"
"Come on. Can I at least come in?" he asked.
"I don't know," I said.
"Please," he said, "I'm soaking wet here and even if you don't want your donuts now they will get all soggy."
I stared back at him wondering if this was part of some plan. Come over when it's raining when he's soaking wet. She'll have to let me in, just long enough to dry off some I got her donuts after all. I knew it might be paranoia but I felt like I knew the way he went about things now after all this time. However no matter what he did or said I wasn't letting him in again...in more ways then one.
"I don't think it would be a good idea," I said.
"We need to talk," he said. "I've missed you," his voice was quiet and shook. I could see it now the feverish desperation in those icey blue eyes. Dark circles under his eyes...the narrowing of his face...I'd overlooked at first glance. He wasn't doing well again.
"So talk," I said even though I had no intention of listening... What could he really say at this point? What was there left to say between us? He began speaking and my eyes glossed over...I just kept remembering how scared I'd been...how I thought he was going to kill me. the pain of his fists as they collided against me...that look in his eyes before he'd tore into me and tried to choked me to death. Now. I just felt so numb...maybe the medication my therapist had me on.
"-got someone to talk to now and we've got a plan. I've been working hard on it," I phased back into the conversation as he stopped speaking
"Hmm," I said.
"Were you even listening to me?" he demand. I didn't say anything. I watched his face flicker with annoyance. "You weren't were you. You said for me to talk and aren't even paying attention," His face began to twist in anger. My numb feeling slowly slipped away as I started to get scared.
"What do you want from me?" I said my eyes beginning to tear up.
"I want you to come back," he said. "I'm better now...I've got things under control."
I stared at him I couldn't believe he was asking me this. I wanted to tell him no but knew better then to say it to his face right this second. I swallowed and managed to avoid and answer saying, "Good of you,"
"Bria," he said giving me a serious look.
"Craig," I said right back giving him a serious look as well.
We stared at each other for a long moment,
"It's alright now," he said
"Is it?" I said.
He swallowed and said, "If you'd been listening I told you I'm on medication now and I've been getting help with my anger issues and destructive urges. I've got someone really good now. I see them once a week"
"Well, I hope that works out for you," I said my voice emotionless.
"What does that mean?" he snapped.
"It means I'm glad you got help. I got help too. A lot of help after you left me to die in that ditch,"
"Don't be so dramatic." he said. "You do this. You make things bigger then they are"
Make things bigger then they are...dramatic...I WAS BEING DRAMATIC. I glared at him I knew I was suppose to such up but I wasn't gonna stand here and let him down play what he'd done, "
"You raped me,"
He scoffed "I didn't rape you."
"You tried to strangle me to death,"
He scoffed and smiled like he found this amusing. He shrugged "What do you want from me here, an apology...you want me to beg"
I wanted a lot of things from him but none of them were nice I didn't say. Instead I tried to think of something else...anything else as I estimated how many minutes it had to have been. How many more minutes I could be."I want you to get help."I said slowly.
"Are you stupid," he said getting agitated, "Did that lack of oxgen mess with your hearing. I just said two times now I'm seeing someone."
"Great," I said, "Well, I hope you get help with your problems/"
"My problems," he hissed, "The only problem I have right now is I'm soaking wet and you wont let me inside."
"It's my mom's place," I said, "She told me not to let anyone in."
"Whatever," he said. "Then step outside we'll go somewhere."
"I'm not going anywhere with you." I said clearly
"We'll talk about it," he said. He closed the donut box and went to reach for the screen door but I grasped hold of it just before he could keeping it shut.
We locked eyes, "Seriously, Bria" he said. "Are you trying to set me off."
"No," I said. "But I told you,"
"AND I TOLD YOU!" he shouted getting angry. He paused took a deep breath and then said, "See...all calm."
I laughed I didn't mean to but this was just fucking ridiculous. He'd learned some techniques and he was suddenly better. He scowled back at me and slowly said "Let... go... of... the...fucking... door."
"No." I said just looking at him.
"Stop playing around." he said, "This isn't cute,"
"I'm not trying to be cute," I insisted. "You can't come in."
"Then come out,"
"No,"
He took a deep breath and then glared at me "You think a thin layer of glass is gonna stop me. I'm trying to be nice here...but if you don't open this door."
"You'll what…" I said I knew I was goating him here but he'd just showed up saying he was all reformed and hadn't even lasted five minutes
"I'll break it," he said.
"Break me," I said, "Some reform."
"I said the glass you're twist bitch. You haven't change at all… your still a crazy bitch."
"So what if I am," I said trying to ease back slightly hoping I could let go of the screen door, long enough to get the front door shut before he could get to it but I didn't have to see. I saw a car pull up and glanced over. An officer got out and a processed server. I got excited, it must have read on my face. He turned his head to see what I was looking at.
They officer called out to him, "Craig...Anstry step away from the door,"
He looked back at me, realizing what I had done...what I'd been doing. I hoped they'd be able to serve him the RO and arrest him all at once and the next time we saw each other would be in court
He shook his head. "You fucking cunt."
I gave him a weak smile and shrugged.
He turned and started walking over, "What's this about?"
The officer grabbed his cuff from his belt and said, "I think you know,"
"Oh," he said, "Well, Do either of you want a donut?"
He offered the box to the process server who shook his head. He started to get his paper work out of his brief case as Craig turned to the police officer to offer a donut.
"Put the box down nice and slow," said the officer.
"Okay," said Craig but he threw it distracting the officer for a second. He lunged and shoved him to the ground. I put my hands to my mouth thinking there was going to be trouble. Once the officer and the box of donuts hit the ground. He darted off to the side and took off running down the side walk. The process server helped the officer up and he grabbed his gun and began perusing. I quickly dated out of the house and stepped down the porch.
The process server rushed up to me, "Are you okay,"
"Yeah."
"Maybe we should go inside," he said.
I barely heard him unable to take my eyes off what was happened. Craig was fast but the police officer was to. He had his gun on him. I thought I was gonna watch him get shot but suddenly a car sped by my mother's house. It passed the police officer honked it horn and pulled up along side Craig opening the door. I knew it had to be Rutger. Again I was glad I'd called the police...he'd made it seem like it was just him wanting to talk.
He jogged to the car and got it in. The officer yelled for him to stop but the car quickly sped off. The officer rushed back describing the car on his shoulder radio. He got in his cruiser and sped out. I listened to the sirens for as long as I could but eventually they grew silent. I had a feeling he was going to get away again and that he was going to come back. I looked down at the donuts melting in the rain and knew I wouldn't be here when he did.
Thank you for reading
I think if you've read a few lives right now you can see how they are drawn into each other and things once more. How they don't always understand it. I think Craig is highly manipulative but there are parts where he loses control and doesn't always understand the motivation behind what he does.
Also I think this is the life before Robberies.
As you know Entin used the name Craig before he actually stole the identity for those who read all the way to book 4 and know his true true name.
I like to think he felt some spark to it. Like sometimes people like names and dont know why or hate them. Is it the name you hate or a person/event associated with it and could a name you absouletly love the sound of be a name you had in the past? Da da da...This has been another Extra behind the scenes with Leona Keyoko Pink. lol
Jam of the time Jan 23-Girlfriend-Hemlocke Springs |
