For the longest time we just stared at each other. I felt like a deer caught in headlights. I had been expecting this…knew this day would come but it had been so long, six years. I sucked in air as I realized it was six years exactly to the day, we met. Only I suppose we didn't actually meet. I only saw him at a distance, which was closer then I had ever hoped to get to him. No, at the first sight of him, I'd tried to off myself.
I swallowed as he kept staring at me from across the counter. He narrowed his eyes as he studied me, then titled his head as if he half expected me to do it again. My hands trembled but stayed at my side, this time. I furrowed my brow as my heart thundered in my chest. I wasn't sure if I was going to shit myself or throw up...fuck why not both!
It took everything just to stand there. I bit my lip waiting to see what he would do next. Again he was always acting and I was reacting! I need to do something! No, I should think first then act! Yeah I should-
"No." he said.
NO! No I shouldn't do anything! Could he read my mind? My eyes widened in horror. I knew in some lives we had abilities...powers even. I'd seen him do a lot of things in my nightmares but I'd never known him to read my mind. His powers had something to do with shadows and parasites. I think he could take people's bodies over or become-
"Thank you." He continued.
I blinked several times, shifting my eyes from right to left. I tried to decipher what this meant. No. Then the worlds longest pause, followed by, thank you. It took me way longer then it should have to realize he was responding to the question I had just asked. I realized only a few seconds had passed but I swear it felt like eons.
I let out a little sigh of relief, glad he couldn't read my mind. He was just responding to my question. The question I had asked when I thought he was like everyone else...but how could I ever treat 'HIM' like anyone else, after...everything.
I looked down at the counter as my eyes started to water. I needed to do something besides cry. Thank goodness my auto pilot kicked in and I started ringing the items up and bagging them. Several times, I dared to glance up and caught glimpses of him as he looked at me. He pursed his lips, then opened his mouth, only to shut it. It looked like he wanted to say something.
I dared to stare at him a little longer. At first, before I knew it was him, I'd assumed he was older, thirties, maybe even forties, given his attire but I could see he was younger now. Older then when I'd last saw him but younger then I'd assumed. He was suppose to be around my age, if I hadn't done what I did, we would have been classmates in this life. I internally shuttered at the thought. We'd been classmates before and it had never been...pleasant. Then again what was with him?
My hands trembled as I finished bagging the last item. I closed my eyes and tried to stay focused on the task at hand. I turned to the register and my voice quaked with emotion as I read off the price, "Seventeen, thir...thirty-four."
He paid the exact amount. Exact...he liked to be exact. I recalled times when he controlled the money. If I wanted anything, I'd have to get it from him and if I didn't give him the exact change back, he'd beat me, thinking I was trying to steal it and squirrel it away. To be fair, I had done that to get away from him.
It was foggy but it was a new memory. I was getting new memories being this close to him. I think...I think that happened. I think we unlocked parts of ourselves through the other cursed. I know since being with Casey my nightmares had lessened and I recalled things about us and various memories I had, when I was with him.
I really didn't want to remember anything more about this asshole! No the nightmares were enough for me. I had one a few nights ago. I had woken up screaming at the top of my lungs. I'd dreamt he'd stabbed me to death and could still feel the pain of the knife going into my chest and arms. Casey had held me and rocked me for nearly an hour to get me back to sleep. Before we were together, I used to just stay up or curl up on the bathroom floor, when I had a really bad one. The coolness off the floor always helped. Sometimes they were just so awful...he was just so awful.
He took his bag as I put the money away. After I shut the register, I stared at the counter, trying to keep the tears from streaming down my face. I sniffled and wiped my eyes with some nearby tissue and mechanically said, "These allergies are the worst." That is what you said when you didn't want people to know you were struggling not to cry your eyes out.
He furrowed his brow and just stood there. Again it looked like he wanted to say something. Her pursed his lips then took a step back. He seemed lost in thought as he turned to leave. Wait! What? He was leaving? I looked off to the side trying to make sense of this. Maybe...maybe he was just scoping things out. Yeah that made sense! Sometimes he'd assess things and make plans for later.
For all he knew, Casey and I could have set a trap for him. Oh that would have been good. I'd considered setting traps before but hadn't, given I didn't own my place and anyone could walk in and get hurt. I suddenly recalled a time when we made it seem like I was on my own. We lured him in and then we all pounced on him. We beat the living shit out of him and strung him up to tear him, limb from limb. It was a gruesome memory but my chest suddenly swelled, recalling how...how gratifying the revenge had been.
I wasn't usually a violent person but this monster had done so many horrific things. He'd hurt so many people and didn't show mercy, why should we. I remember one life, he made me use my powers. We had burned down a village and I could sense some people were still alive in the debris. He wanted me to point them out so he could finish what he started. He wanted other to know what it was to defy him. I pleaded with him not to do this, to show mercy, and he made sure to 'remind' me of my place.
It was like a flood of memories and emotions were just hitting me all at once. I felt shaky on my feet. I realized he'd turned back to look at me. Maybe he wasn't going after all? I don't know. With him the only thing I could be certain of is uncertainty. I half expected our second reunion to be full of explosions, guns blazing, being dragged out in the middle of the night, kicking and screaming or rendered unconscious and waking up in a cage. I looked around the store. I liked this place and he was probably going to destroy it.
He turned like he had decided to go again. He took a few steps and I put on a fake smile. I felt like an idiot just standing there. I should be running! I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't know what the fuck he was doing. Was he leaving? Was he staying? Was he gonna do this now or later? I let out a little sound between a whimper and a laugh. I felt like I was losing my mind. Maybe that was the point of this...to mess with my head.
He turned around once more and walked back up to the counter. Yep, he was faking me out. He put on a smile of his own, at least I think that is what he was aiming for. It was fucking unreal. His face was all scrunched up and his eyes almost closed as he looked like he was trying to laugh or something. "Say, you didn't go to Henderson High, did you?"
What? What! WHAT! I titled my head, cranking it a little more to the left, every time I thought what. Of all the things I thought he might say to me that was not on the list. Again, what was his deal? Was he testing me or some shit? Of course he knew I fucking went there, for about a day. The worst fucking day of my life... so far, this right here was cutting it close.
I debated how to answer and decided to lie, "No."
"Oh," his face suddenly relaxed as his mouth fell flat, "Really." He adjusted his collar looking at my neck. My mouth parted. What was he gesturing to it? I turned my head the other way confused. I realized he was waiting for me to respond.
I swallowed my throat getting dry and dared to double down, "Yeah."
He lifted his head looking up at the ceiling. He licked his lips then shrugged. "Oh it's just you seem so, familiar. I swear I've seen you somewhere before." He grabbed his chin as he wrapped his other arm, the one holding the bag, around himself.
I narrowed my eyes at him. 'I swear I've seen you somewhere before.' OH! OH! He had to be shitting me! I didn't doubt for a second he didn't know exactly who I was! AND WHAT I HAD DONE! He was playing with me surely, surely...unless he really had no idea what was going on. Was it possible! Was he still unaware? Surely not! I blink again. I had not considered the possiblity that this whole time, he could be like Casey, slightly aware of something going on but still oblivious.
Had he just wandered in here ...today... by accident. The chances were nearly astronomical but not...impossible. NO! NO WAY! Still, STILL, even if he honestly didn't know that he knew me from another life. He HAD to know exactly who I was and where he saw me. Who forgot the crazy chick who slit her throat between third and fourth period. Then again, the school and hospital had tried to hide my identity. Some people had still known me...but I suppose it was possibly some people might not know it was me. He might remember the act and I might look vaguely familiar. Was this really possible? No I didn't think so. He had to be toying with me before the kill.
I stared at him for a second longer then decided to play his game, "No, sorry. Was there anything else you needed...sir?"
I waited for him to respond. He shifted his weight, rubbed his hand over his mouth then licked his tongue over the top row of his teeth, Clearly annoyed, he furrowed his brow then looked around like he was thinking of something. His eyes light up a second later and he asked "Any suggestions for a college grad?"
"Oh," I said burying my hands in my apron pockets, "We have a section." I took one hand out and gestured to the section.
"Where?" he said looking all around.
What was he blind? I was pointing right to it. There was a big sign that said Graduation above it. I shook my hand gesturing to the right wall again. He just kept looking about confused. He wouldn't even look where I gestured. Again, I narrowed my eyes at him. What was he doing? Then it dawned on me! I realized he'd seen me take the mother and her children over to the fish section earlier. Because her hands were full I had hand picked items for them to see. He must have thought I'd do the same for him. Yeah no fucking way.
"The right back wall, with the sign that says graduation above it, has a variety of graduation themed items. For last year, this year and even next year's graduation as well as other popular years. Anything graduation related would probably be over there." Away from me, far, far away from me. I sounded like a robot but I didn't care.
"Hmm," he said looking over at the right back wall, "Perhaps you could assist me. I'm not quite sure what I'm looking for."
It took everything not to madly laughed. "ME ASSHOLE! I KNOW YOU ARE LOOKING FOR ME! I'M RIGHT HERE! YOU WANT TO DO THIS! YOU WANT TO GO! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YEARS FOR THIS MOMENT! LET'S GO! I KNOW SELF DEFENSE AND I'VE GOT SOME PRETTY SHARP SCISSORS TWISTING IN MY OTHER HAND, RIGHT NOW! FUCKING BRING IT! LET'S END THIS RIGHT HERE AND NOW!" I fantasized about jumping up on the counter and slashing him with the scissor. I'd then reach for the air fresheners and get a lighter from the rack and-
"I swear I know you from somewhere," he said shaking his head. He leaned up against the counter, leaning closer to me, "You ever live in Shermin?"
Shermin was the city I had lived in when I went to Henderson High. Seriously he wasn't going to let this drop. Did he want me to admit he did recognize me and remind him of the last time we saw each other? I pursed my lips but thankfully I didn't have to respond as the phone rang and I worked here! So it was my JOB to get the PHONE. Which meant I didn't have to continue this nightmare of a conversion.
I turned with a smile still on my face and picked up the phone. My voice came out nice and cheerful. "HELLO, GIVE GIFTS!" Okay... maybe a bit too cheerful
"Yes, what are your hours?"
"Seven thirty to four thirty."
"Is that everyday?"
"Yes, except for major holidays." I said as he tapped his finger on the counter. I don't think he was happy I answered the phone. As I recalled he always liked to have my full attention. The fact that he didn't rip the phone out of my hand and smack me with it, sealed the deal for me. He wasn't awake...yet. He was still whoever he currently was. I curled my fingers around the phone cord. There was still a chance I might get away...today.
"Wonderful. Do you have anything for cats, specifically cat birthdays?"
"Yes, we do. I think we have cat birthday hats and an assortment of recipes." He let out a sigh, getting impatient. Tough! I planned to take my time and talk to this customer for as long as I could. I hoped he'd get tired of waiting and leave, then I could have some time to think.
"What is a cat recipe?" asked the woman.
"Oh," I said only too happy to tell her. "It's like any other cooking recipe but it's specifically uses cat friendly ingredients. I believe you can make cakes and cookies."
"Oh that is so nice! Do you have a lot of those and birthday hats?"
"Oh yes."
"Do the hats come in different sizes. I have a dog that wants to come and he's a big dog." Shit this cat had more of a social life then I did.
"We have stuff for dog birthday's too," He scoffed at that, no doubt finding it ridiculous. I went on turning away from him. "I'm sure they have all sorts of sizes."
"I might be in tonight or tomorrow."
"Feel free to check us out, wherever you have time We have an entire corner dedicated to pets and various events."
"Alright," she sounded like she was about to hang up.
I quickly added. "We have other holidays too, not just birthdays."
"Oh really I can't wait." She sounded excited, "Thank you so much."
She hung up. Shit! Shit! Shit! I casually pretended to still be on the line with her, "Yes, we have cat clothes too, for all seasons." I was just pulling shit out my ass now. "Mittens and scarves for winter and." What other cat shit could I make up. "Cat... dresses and jackets for weddings." I was pretty sure I saw one of those once in a newspaper.
He looked tired throwing his head back. He looked up at the ceiling and shut his eyes...waiting. Thankfully another phone rang. At first I was worried it was mine, since I was suppose to be on it but I quickly saw it was his as he fished it out of his jacket.
"Yes, I'm still interested, uh, right now," he shifted his gaze to look at me.
"Cat socks!" I blurted out, acting like I hadn't been listening to him. "Yes they are just the cutest thing."
"I'm just wrapping something up. No." He groaned, "I'll be there just wait."
Someone was waiting on him. I wondered who it was? No I didn't want to know! I didn't want to know anything about him! I hung up the phone carefully as he turned his back to me asking about an address. I turned on my heels and quickly rushed to the bathroom with my phone. I locked the door then went to make a call, only to find it was low. I plugged it into the holiday wall charger and waited. I should have charged it last night but I forgot. It wouldn't happen again now that he was around!
I heard the bell on the door ring but I didn't check if he was gone. I waited until I had enough charge to make a decent call, then flushed the toilet and dared to poke my head out. I saw that he was gone. However I made sure looking all around. I kept expecting him to jump out at me and drag me into his world of darkness and violence.
When I realized I was alone, I decided to locked the door. I stood by the door and looked outside. If someone other then him came in, I'd unlock it. If he came back I'd drop to the ground and pretend we closed early. Now there was an idea, closing early! I looked at the time thinking I could make something up, if Sheri even notice.
Someone was coming and I unlocked the door. A man was looking for music boxes. I showed him where a few were and he checked the prices before jotting them down. He left without buying anything. I unlocked the door again to let him out, acting like I was fixing the curtain. Again, I debated closing early then the cat lady showed up.
She bought one of everything, I swear. She did have the cutest cat. She had a dozen pictures in her wallet and now I wanted a cat. After she left I locked the door and tried to distract myself. After a few minutes I saw a I still had an hour to go. I decided to start closing things down. I went through my closing list twice to make sure I didn't forget anything then checked for any last minute deliveries. I still had thirty minutes left when I was done with everything.
"Screw it!" I said to myself and turned the open signed to closed.
I closed out the register and put the money in the safe. I locked everything up thinking we did good today, had a lot of sales. Sheri shouldn't be mad if I took of early one day. She was suppose to be flexible.
I was kind of worried he might be waiting for me to get off work. As I locked the front door, I looked around outside for any sign of him. There wasn't even a car on the street...that was good right! He was really gone! I had done it! I had survived a second time. I bit my lip and began to walk home. Whether he was awakened or not I had a feeling he'd be back. I needed to decide if I'd be here.
|
