I gasped and started coughing up a storm. I sat up and a blanket fell off my face. My head pounded like it never had before and I felt dizzy and nauseous, like I was going to be sick. I closed my eyes and rested my cheek against the cool leather of a seat. It took me a few minutes to stabilize and then a few more minutes to recall what had happened.
I cried out remembering bits and pieces of it. I hoped more than anything it was just a horrific nightmare but from the amount of pain I was in, I knew it wasn't. I cried for several long minutes and struggled to get a hold of myself. When I finally managed to, I opened my eyes again and looked around. I tried to understand my situation and what I could do, if anything. Where...where was I now? I went to wipe my eyes and found my wrists ached.
I saw they'd been wrapped in bandages and were tightly handcuffed together. I felt bandages on my face as well. It hurt when I opened and closed my mouth. My tongue also stung. I vaguely remembered biting it. I suddenly became aware I was naked and grasped hold of the blanket I was laying on, trying to cover myself up. I found my legs were cuffed as well and realized I was on the floor in the back of a car.
I recalled Roan guiding me at some point. I turned and felt sick again. I vomited. Some water and bile came up but it was mostly a painful dry heave. I tried to get up off the floor of the car, clawing at the black leather seats. With every movement my body ached, most of all between my legs. I trembled as pain surged through me. I felt like I'd been hit with a hammer.
I cried, painfully holding my abdomen. My head kept pounding. I wanted to lie back down and go to sleep but I knew I needed to get up. I needed to find a way out of this. I fought against the pain...the sheer blinding pain, forcing myself to get up on the back seat. It took so much out of me that I had to lie down for a second to recover.
When I managed to sit up, I could see outside and saw the car was parked in a parking lot. Some light came in through the windows from a light post a few feet away. In the distance I saw a bright store sign, one of the letters was burned out but I realized the car was in a store parking lot. It was parked in the back away from any other cars. The closest one I could see must have been ten or twenty spots away. Some trick with a dog barking in the passenger seat.
I put my hands against the glass and shuddered, realizing for the first time Roan might be in the car. Frightfully I looked around but thankfully I didn't see him. Had he left me here? Was he coming back? I pulled my hands from the cold glass and tried to open the door. The handle moved but it didn't open. I ran my hands along the base of the window looking for a lock but there wasn't any. I turned, looking at the door behind me. Painfully I dragged myself over to it and pulled its handle. Once again it moved but did nothing to open the door.
I cursed and sat back, taking a moment. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply as another surge of pain tore through me. I tried to suppress it and stay focused on the task at hand. What was I going to do? I needed to get out of the car and get help. The back seat doors would not open. I didn't know why, maybe it was child locks or something. I hadn't tried the front doors yet, maybe one of them was open or I could at least unlock the back doors.
I opened my eyes. Determined, I tried to get up to the front seat. With my hands and feet cuffed, I could only manage to squeeze the front half of my body through the divide. Still, it was enough to reach the front doors. If I could get one of them open then and only then would I worry about how to get the rest of me up front. Maybe I could just open the door and scream.
I tried the front side passenger door first. Like the back doors the handle moved but it didn't open. I groaned and struggled to turn to the front door driver's side. I looked around as I moved and saw someone was pushing a cart in the distance. I focused on them as they drew closer and tried to think of a way to get their attention.
The horn! Of course! I looked at the steering wheel then quickly pressed the center of it but it didn't make a sound. I continued to press it and then hit it hard with my fists but nothing. The car must have had to be on for it to work. I cried out in frustration but tried the front driver's side door. Again like all the others, it was locked. However, there was a panel on the door. It had to unlock the other doors. I wasn't sure if the car needed to be on or not. I tried to read it, but it was too dark and the writing was too small.
I looked up and the person with the cart was closer now, close enough for me to see it was Roan in his dark hoodie. He was pushing a cart full of stuff and paused when he saw me bent over the front seat. He didn't look happy. He quickly pushed the cart over to the car. I ran my hands over the button panel on the driver's side, trying to get anything to unlock.
I heard several clicks but didn't know what doors were unlocked. I tried the front door. It opened and the light in the car came on. Roan rushed up to the driver's side door and I painfully scrambled to get in the back seat. He flung the door open and I moved to the closest back passenger door, hoping it was now unlocked.
I got prepared to run for my life or in this case hop given my feet were cuffed. Then grasped the door handle but just as I pulled it, I heard it click, locking again. I turned and saw Roan had his hand on the door panel. He bent down and glared at me.
He only said one word, "BEHAVE!"
He slammed the driver's door shut and the lights went off in the car. I painfully curled up in the corner of the back seat. I had hoped he'd just abandoned me in the parking lot and that he was done with me but now it was clear...this wasn't over. Not only had he raped me but he'd kidnapped me as well.
He moved the shopping cart to the back of the car and unlocked the trunk. I heard him cursing as he frantically loaded the groceries. He threw everything in without carrying where it landed. I realized he was hurrying to get the car loaded so...so he could get out of here. No! NO! I didn't want to be alone with him. I didn't know where he was taking me or what more he was going to do to me but I didn't want to find out.
I looked out the window and saw people in the distance, walking to their cars. If I could reach them or at least call out to them maybe...maybe they could help. I wasn't ready to give up. I laid on my side. If I couldn't get the door open, then I would break the window out. I began kicking it with my bare feet as hard as I could. Roan slammed the trunk shut as I managed to crack the glass. I kept going as he quickly got into the driver's seat.
He saw what I was doing and roared, "STOP THAT!"
"FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. He started the car and then quickly backed up. The sudden force of it rolled me off the seat and back onto the floor. I kept screaming and struggled to get back on the seat as he slammed on the gas and peeled out of the parking lot.
A moment later he reached into the back and his fist collided with my side and back. "YOU'RE REALLY PISSING ME OFF KIRI," He roared. "I WAS GONNA BE NICE AND LET YOU SIT UP FRONT BUT NOT IF YOU WANT TO KEEP BEING A BITCH!"
I struggled, crying out, but I knew there wasn't anything else I could do. He stopped hitting me after a few more blows and concentrated on the road. My cries turned to whimpers as I shook. I felt the car move and stop, move and stop at every traffic light and then I heard what sounded like a stereo blasting.
I realized there were people in their cars. If...if I could hear their stereo maybe they could hear me. Maybe they were close enough to see me. I started screaming and scrambled to get up on the seat. Roan turned the radio on and blasted it, singing along with it. He started screaming to the songs, trying to drown me out.
I struggled and put my hand on the glass, I painfully managed to get up on the seat. Someone...I saw someone as we were stopped at the light. I banged on the cracked window, crying out to them. The light changed and the car drove away but the next car came up. I saw woman driving. I banged on the window, pleading, begging for help.
She glanced over and then looked again. I saw the look of shock and horror on her and her passenger's face. She hit the brakes and the car behind her crashing into her. Roan adjusted his window seeing what happened and yelled, "LOOK WHAT YOU DID! LOOK WHAT YOU FUCKING DID!"
He sped up and madly weaved through traffic. I got tossed all about the back seat as he made several sharp turns, changing streets. I heard horns honk and even the sound of metal colliding as cars crashed. After a few minutes, he turned down a quiet residential street and pulled into a dark alley. He parked then turned off the car. The headlights went out and the music stopped, leaving us in silence but not for long.
Roan angrily hit the steering wheel and cursed. I curled up on the backseat thinking he might come after me but he didn't. When he finally calmed down, he lit a cigarette and smoked it. He appeared to be thinking. After a few minutes, I heard sirens in the distance. Not long after that I saw a cop car pass by the alley. Roan lowered his cigarette and I got my hopes up, thinking the cops were looking for me. Perhaps that woman had called after she'd seen me and they were checking the entire area.
I struggled to sit up, hoping they'd drive down the alley but they just passed on by. Roan went back to smoking his cigarette and I got upset. I knew I had to get their attention. If I could just get the window open I could scream at the top of my lungs. The cops might not hear me but maybe some people in the neighborhood would call it in and since the cops were so close, they'd be able to get to us.
I laid back on my side and tried to kick the window in again. I made the crack larger but suddenly Roan leaned back with his cigarette and pressed it into my skin. I cried out as it burned my flesh. I quickly tried to push his hand away. He let the cigarette drop and I instinctively covered the area which only made it hurt worse. I pulled my hand away and screamed.
Roan cackled then as he got himself another cigarette out of his pack, "That's what you fucking get! Can't even sit still for one fucking minute!"
I couldn't take it anymore. In that moment the pain, Roan, everything got to be too much. I broke down screaming, yelling at the top of my lungs. Open window or not I didn't care. Roan just ignored me, lighting his new cigarette. When I didn't stop screaming after several minutes he said, "YEAH! YEAH! GET IT ALL FUCKING OUT!"
I felt my voice strain and throat began to burn. I was thirsty. I realized I needed to save my voice, save my energy for when I could make it really count. I wiped the tears from my face, with my thumbs and noticed for the first time that my handcuffs were connected by some length of chain. It wasn't much but maybe...I looked at Roan sitting in the front seat, smoking his cigarette and got an idea. If I could loop this around his neck then maybe I could strangle him to death. I struggled getting into position. He adjusted the rearview mirror and watched me move about but didn't say anything. I sniffled trying to act like I was calming down, while all my adrenaline, pain and rage was building up.
All I once I forced myself to lunge forward. I lifted my hands up to go over his head but he anticipated my move. He simply leaned forward, out of my current reach then turned and put his cigarette out in the top of my hand. I screamed out again struggling to bring my hand back to my chest.
Roan laughed, cackling madly again. "I CAN DO THIS ALL NIGHT KIRI. I CAN DO THIS ALL FUCKING NIGHT! YOU WANT TO GO THROUGH THE WHOLE PACK? WE CAN."
We locked eyes in the rearview mirror as I held my hand and sobbed. He smiled and lit a third cigarette. He smoked it all the way through waiting for me to do something else but I didn't. When the cigarette was down to its very last he put it out in the car's ash tray. Then he started the car and slowly drove up and down the dark alleyways of the residential streets until he saw something he liked. He parked the car and then looked at me in the mirror.
"Last chance love, you cause me any more trouble tonight and you're going to bye bye land."
I didn't know what he meant by that. If bye bye land meant he was going to kill me or what. I didn't say anything and he got out of the car. I watched him walk up to another one and break into it, in less then a minute. He got in and I assumed he hot-wired the car because after a few minutes it started up.
He came back to the car and unloaded the groceries from the trunk. I realized he was switching cars because I'd been seen. They would no doubt be looking for this car now. I watched him make several trips and realized he was going to come get me at some point. I looked around for something I could use to protect myself. If I could just hurt him or get free.
He tapped on the window before I knew it and then opened the door. I sprung into action, going with the first thing that popped into my head. I laid on the seat again. Instead of trying to kick out the window, as soon as he door opened the door I kicked him hard with both feet. I got him and he stumbled back a few steps. He cursed and I quickly tried to scoot to the end of the seat but by the time I got there and got my feet on the gravel, he was waiting. He punched me in the face, sending me back against the seat. He climbed in and hit me again in the chest and stomach.
"I warned you!" he hissed, "You want to play rough, we'll play rough."
He grabbed me by my hair and yanked me out of the car. He lifted me up and over his shoulder then started carrying me to the other car. I tasted blood and realized he'd cut my lip open. He put me down when he got to the new car then shoved me into the back seat. He stepped away for a second, grabbing a bottle of water from the truck. He pressed it to my mouth and I drank thirsty but quickly noticed it tasted weird. I just knew he'd done something to it. I stopped drinking it and spat out what was in my mouth out.
He back handed me and then forced me to drink it all. He made sure I'd swallowed before he grabbed some rope from the trunk attached my feet to my hands forcing me to curl up I felt strange, sick. My head hurt again. I'd forgotten about it in my struggles along with my other pains but as my adrenaline faded and my body relaxed, I cried out in pain.
Roan got the blanket from the other car and put it down on the floor of the new car. I was...it was getting hard to hold...a thought. I- I-there must have been some sort of drug in the water. I tried to fight it but found myself growing weaker by the second. He moved me to lay on the floor again then disappeared from my sight. I nearly passed out but felt him lifting my head and realized he'd come back with a pillow.
"See, I'm not such a bad guy after all." he teased.
I weakly moaned and found it hard to keep my eyes open. He moved the hair out of my face and took my chin in his hand. He turned my head from side to side examining me. He left again then returned seconds later. I just barely saw him place a first aid kit on the back seat before I passed out.
/
For who knows how long I drifted in and out of consciousness. Sometimes music would be playing, I'd hear a door close or feel sunlight on my face. I'd open my eyes for a moment or two and then drift off to sleep once more. My dreams were restless, incoherent shapes and sounds. At one point I thought I saw Derek. He was curled up in our bed, wrapped around my robe, crying. His tears were muffled and sounded as if they were almost underwater. I reached out to him but the air felt thick and heavy all around me. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn't reach him. No matter how much I called out his name, the sounds never traveled beyond the air around me...within me.
I heard a song I liked. I knew it well. I could never recall the name of the band but I liked the lyrics to their songs. I sang along with it in my head. Then suddenly I felt vibrations as everything around me shook. I heard someone curse and I opened my eyes. I felt sick and groggy. After a few seconds I closed my eyes and drifted back to sleep.
I heard Roan cursing, "Who the fuck keeps a flat spare tire?" He sounded pissed off. Something must have happened to upset him. Good...good... I heard a lighter go off and soon smelt cigarette smoke. I heard the rustling of bags and dozed off and on. I nearly fell unconscious once again but heard the car door open and felt a chill run across my face as fresh air rushed into the car.
I opened my eyes and saw Roan leaning into the back seat. He pulled the blanket off me and grabbed hold of the rope that bound me. He pulled me up from the floor and propped me on the back seat. He looked at me and then slapped my cheeks, making sure I was fully awake. I groaned and glared at him, wondering what he wanted now.
He untied the rope then rubbed his mouth, looking tired, "So this is what's going to happen. I'm going to untie you and then you're going to put this on." I vaguely glanced at some wadded up fabric in his other hand. "You're going to eat, drink, piss, shit, whatever you need to. Then we're going to go on a little walk."
I just sat there. Some part of me understood what he'd just said but I felt tired and numb to everything that was going on around me. I wasn't sure if it was from the trauma or from the drugs he'd given me. He started to untie me and then paused. I heard him sniffle. He leaned in and smelled me. He pulled back and cursed, "SHIT! DID YOU-FUCK! You pissed yourself AGAIN."
I was vaguely aware I had and at this point I didn't care. I needed to go so I went. He slapped me and then roughly grabbed my chin. He forced me to look at him and snarled "I don't want this happening again! Do you understand me! This is unacceptable! You're not a fucking animal, Kiri! If you have to do that YOU tell me and I'll deal with it!"
Tell him... and he'd deal with it? Heh. I didn't want to have to rely on him for anything. I didn't want to talk to him. I just sat there. He walked off to the trunk and I looked outside for the first time. I saw we were on a dirt road now, somewhere in the woods. It was daytime. Morning or afternoon, I couldn't tell.
Roan soon returned, "Come on, let's get you cleaned up."
He grabbed my arm and slid me out of the car. He had me lean up against it and spread my legs. He poured several bottles of water over me and used some hand soap, touching me. I wept, pleading for him to stop.
"Please, I can do it myself."
"Keep this in mind next time you decide to fucking piss on yourself!"
He ran his hands all over me, up and down my thighs and between my lips. The water was cold but it was his hands that made me shiver. He could tell I despised his touch. When I was clean he grabbed me by my hair and pulled my head back to look at him.
"You'd better get used to my touch, Kiri." he said. "From now on, I'll touch you whenever I please." He set the wadded up fabric on top of the car and said, "Put it on. I'll get breakfast ready."
He started messing with something in the trunk. I looked at wadded up fabric and found it was a dress. It would be nice to have some clothes on but this would barely cover anything. I looked at it and then glared at him. I understood what he wanted me to do, but I refused. I refused to obey him! I threw the dress to the ground and then smiled, finding I had to piss again and so I did. He came around with a box of donuts and more bottle water. He saw what I'd done and his face lit up before it twisted in anger. He glared at me and hissed, "Crazy fucking bitch!"
I glared right back at him defiantly. He dropped the donuts and water and came at me. I flinched and tried to dodge but he collided with my shoulder. More pain surged through me. He grabbed me by the back of my neck and moved me about in various directions for nearly a minute just to show me he could.
"GET OVER YOURSELF," he roared, "AND THIS LITTLE ATTITUDE OF YOURS! I'M IN CHARGE NOW! YOU'RE GOING TO DO WHAT I WANT OR THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES, UNDERSTAND?"
I just continued to glare at him and he squeezed tighter. It felt like he might pop my head off and reluctantly gave in. "Yes! Yes! Alright!"
He leaned into me and commanded, "KISS ME!" My eyes widened and the pressure on my neck intensified when I failed to move. "KISS ME!"
Flashbacks of my youth flashed though me. "KISS ME, KIRI! KISS ME AND I'LL LET YOU GO HOME!"
Tears poured down my cheeks. How I wish that could be true now. How I wished I could just kiss him and go home. I leaned in. My lips trembled but I pressed them against his. I kissed him. He pressed harder and pushed his tongue into my mouth again. I heard him moan before he pulled back. He let go off my neck and then slapped my ass, "Good girl."
He walked away and I felt like I was going to be sick. I covered my mouth and saw the car had a flat tire. I remembered him cursing earlier. It didn't have a replacement. Things weren't going according to his plan. I smiled. He picked up the water and box of donuts, putting them on the top of the car. He opened the box of donuts and then the bottle of water. I watched him put a pill in the bottled water and shake it up. He handed it to me but then pulled it back. After a moment he put it into his pocket.
"We'll save that for later."
He got another bottle of water and opened it. He drank from it first then handed it to me. I didn't want to drink from something he'd touched but I was uncomfortably aware of my thirst and hunger. I wondered how long I'd been living in this nightmare and how much longer it would go on. A day, maybe two...three? Who knew but I'd have to eat at some point...espeically if I wanted to keep my strength up. I reluctantly drank the water and ate three donuts. Roan finished off the box and drank the rest of the water.
Then he commanded "Sit,"as he went back to the trunk.
I chose to stand looking around some more. He came back around a few seconds later with some bags and duct tape. He was upset I hadn't sat. He pushed me into the car. I sat down on the back seat and he grabbed my legs. He unlocked them and then put the bags on the bottom of my feet. He began wrapping them with duct tape and I realized he was making shoes for our 'walk'. He really hadn't planned on me needing to walk. I sucked on my lip and wondered what else he hadn't planned for.
Once he was finished with my feet he packed things into several remaining bags. I saw some food, water, and other various items. He set them down and then grabbed the rope up again. He tied one end to the cuffs on my wrist and the other to his arm. Then he forced me to get up and pulled me close to him.
"I want to make this fast," he said, "You will do as I say, you will follow me, and you will be-fucking-have,"
"Or what?" I said haphazardly, "What haven't you done to me already?"
He smirked and brushed my cheek with his finger tips, "Oh Kiri, the real fun hasn't even begun yet."
If that was supposed motivate me in any way to cooperate, it did the exact opposite. It was clear he was taking me somewhere and that he had plans for me, when we got there. Now more than ever I wanted to find a way out of this. He didn't wait for me to respond. He grabbed the back of my head and pressed his lips against mine, kissing me. When he pulled back he licked his tongue along my cheek and smiled at the horror and fear in my eyes. Without another word, he turned and yanked on my rope. I stumbled behind him, reluctantly following him into the forest.
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